Parenting 101

With my baby's D-date around the corner, I've been forced to think about our lives and how much, so much is going to change very soon. I've been thinking about being a parent and what that means. I've been thinking about MY parents and how they raised me and how my husband was raised as well. Obviously I have NO idea what being a parent is going to be like, but with some observations of people around me, I've began to formulate my ideas of what I think it might be like. I see my family and it's inevitable to notice how Mexican we are. There is a hard core sense of family ties in most Mexican families,and I think it's augmented times twenty in mine. Family is number one, and that's what it's all about. You would think that was "good" all the time. I am in it, so I see it as a bit of a shortcoming at times. For example, my parents have always lived for their kids and their kids only. My father can't sleep if he doesn't talk to me everyday. My mother thinks I'm being a bad daughter if I don't see her EVERY week. They do nothing else but work and live to be with their family. With or without knowing it they dish out guilt trips when I don't go see them or call them.
I've realized that being a parent is more of a very important job rather than God giving you little person that you should expect to love you and be around you at all times. God gives us children to start them on their path of life and to teach them wrong from right . Ultimately they are little individuals who are here to figure themselves out in the world and to find their purpose and to build a strong relationship with God apart from you. We as parents are the people who get to take care of them and show them the way. I know that the second I meet my baby, I am going to fall much more in love with her than I already am and it's going to be hard to not want to smoother her with love and protectiveness. I need to remember that I am here to help her find her path and that sooner or later she is going to go off and do her own thing, and I have to be okay with that. I've been thinking of how it's going to take much much work in order to keep my relationship with my husband alive. We are going to have to work hard at making sure we are staying a couple and not just parents. It is crucial to nurture your relationship with yourself and with your life partner. I say this because I've seen many marriages struggle when all of their kids grow up. The couple no longer has anything in common because they've spent the last eighteen years of their lives focusing only on their children. I'm not trying to say be mean to your kids and neglect them. you obviously need to make sure they have a good life. I just know what it feels like to be a child that is a product of their parents giving ALL of their attention to them and them only. I feel guilty that I can't see my parents every day because I can just picture them bored watching T.V. and waiting for me to call or to go visit. I don't want to feel this heaviness in my heart. I would love for my parents to be individuals and have likes and interest and hobbies that could occupy their time and their minds. My mother and father have given themselves so much to their family that they don't know themselves as individuals or as a couple anymore. This causes a disservice to both them and their children because they feel resentful towards their children because they feel abandoned; And the child feels guilty and obligated to fulfill something in the parent that no child should have to fill. We all came to this world alone and we all leave it alone. Having a family and loved ones to steer us in the right direction and love us is imperative to our existence, but ultimately the relationship you have with yourself and God is the most important one because if that is not in order everything else in your life feels wrong. Being a parent is going to blow my mind I am sure, and I am so excited for the adventure. I really hope that I can give my daughter everything I have for her to have a strong foundation for her life. I know that it will be hard to see her go once it's time, but I'm so excited for the path that she's going to go on. It's so exciting to me for my husband and I to design our own parenting plan. No one gets a manual on how to be a parent, but when you trust that God will be there at every crossroad, every question, you can rest assured that you'll do the right thing. Parenting in my mind is putting your trust in God that you are molding a person into someone that is going to love life and explore what the world has to offer and to reach their potential and calling in life. I can't wait for the adventure!

Cheers to all the parents and parents to be in the world!

When there's a will there's a puppy.

When there's a will there's a way. Heard that before? This week I heard the very sad news that my childhood dog, Cosita (means little thing in Spanish), passed away last Monday. My mother being my mother did not want to tell me because I was in a "delicate" state in my pregnancy and she didn't want me to go into early labor or something. This week while being at their house I got curious of Cosita's whereabouts and asked my mom. She gave me the look, you know the one you just know something is wrong, and I just knew what she was going to say, "Cosita is gone"... I of course burst into tears that were ignited even more by the surge of pregnancy hormones! After I did my thing, all I could think about was my past with my dog. She was fifteen years old, by golly that's old for a dog! In some sense I was a bit relieved since she'd been loosing all her teeth and was down to one good molar on the right side of her mouth, it was time for her to go. Still sad, but understandable. I got to thinking of how much I struggled to get her.

 I suddenly found myself back in 1995 wearing some hideous leggings with an over sized T-shirt tied to my side. There I was at my mom's friends house, this lady we went to visit had two adult Pomeranians that had just had a litter. I don't know if you've ever seen a Pomeranian puppy but it was by far the cutest thing I had ever seen in my life. With high hopes I asked the woman if she was going to give them away. Short of laughing at my face she said, "Oh Mija, NO , these puppies will sell for $300 a piece in three months when they are ready." I turned to my mother armed with my most pathetic googly eyes to see if I could convince her to buy me one. She literally laughed at my face and said , " Are you kidding me, we hardly have money for food for ourselves and you want me to buy you a $300 dog?!" I lost hope, well for about the time it took us to get our tooshies to the bus stop. Then my mind took off running wild, like a gazelle running from a hungry lion.

 I kept thinking of how I would convince my mother that I needed this puppy more than I needed food really. Different strategies ran through my head. Lots of brainstorming and preparation to lay down my proposal and not have it be denied. It took me the long bus ride home to determine what I would ask of my parents. When we got home, I sat them both down and with my most convincing demure I began my business plan. I told them that over the next three months I would be "working" towards raising money for the puppy. I asked them if they would please buy me Mexican candy in bulk and that I would sell it at school and in our neighbourhood. They for some reason loved the idea and let me open shop! I don't think they knew what I had in mind. I made flyer's with markers that I then posted all over our street saying that our house was a Mexican candy factory. In hind sight I think my father would have said no to the whole operation had he known how much business I would have. There were literally TONS of kids and adults from our street that came and rang our door bell constantly for some candy. What a success! I ran out of my first batch very quickly and on to the next. I could not wait for the minute that I would get to hold my very own puppy!

 It took me three months but I finally did it. In all honesty I think my parents despite our shortage of money, had to put in the final "cents" for my transaction to take place. But I think they just thought I would probably run away if after all my struggles I wasn't able to get her. I can remember the day we went to pick her up as if it were yesterday. We got to go in my dad's car and on the drive home I had her on my lap and since she was so little she kept sliding onto my side and the crevice of the car seat. Oh what a joyous day! I was one happy sixth grader.

Why do I share this with you today? Well because when there is a will there is a way. If you truly want something don't stop short at people telling you no. If you have the drive in you, and I truly believe we all do , then there is always a solution to get all of what we want in life. The thing is to listen to your heart and your head will figure something out if you let it. Don't live your life by what others think you can and can not do. It's not going to be an easy or a smooth ride by any means. But the satisfaction you get out of completing something that you thought difficult is by far one of the most exhilarating feelings of all. To get what you want and what in essence your heart needs, after a huge struggle makes life worth living. So if you're facing a time in your life right now where there is something out in the world that you just gotta have, do a little soul searching figure out if it's really what you need and go for it. You will know it in your heart if it's really what you want. No inhibitions, no sensors. You WILL achieve it if you can think it. We all have so much potential that we don't use or we sell ourselves short for. I think back and really feel proud of myself for having to experience that. I would have learned NOTHING had my parents had the money to buy me Cosita. But if I was able to do that at 11 years old, what are my capabilities now? Don't be scared of your own potential. Go balls out and get what you truly need in life! It's worth it all!
May you rest in peace, Cosita, you taught me more that you know.

Stay saucy everyone!

The Future Voyager

Since my little girl decided to give us a "preview" of labor on Father's day, I've been on the edge of my seat! Especially this week , it was my first week home from work on maternity leave and every little contraction, or every joyous pain I felt, I thought, Oh boy THIS is it! And guess what, nope, nada! I keep thinking of when it would be the perfect time for her to make her grand entrance into this world. I keep wondering what it will be like and making up stories in my head of what I'm going to feel like, or what my husband is going to be like as well. I keep trying to predict when this is all going down! My whole pregnancy I've been caught up thinking, I can't wait for this to happen and I can't wait for that to happen. For example, I could not wait to get to twelve weeks of pregnancy because that's when the possibility of miscarriage diminishes by a ton. I was so focused on that part that I'm pretty sure I didn't pay much attention to my first twelve weeks of pregnancy. Then it was, oooh i can't wait to find out the sex. And so I even had a count down on my phone telling me how many days till then I still had to wait. Finally that came. Then it was, oh I can't wait until I am showing. And then that came, and now that it's here I find myself thinking, oh I can't wait to NOT look pregnant anymore! Make up your mind yo! But now, the biggest line that runs in my ever so active brain is, Oh I can't wait to have her and meet her! All this, I can't wait , I can't wait, can become quite exhausting. I'll tell you why, because I'm not allowing my self to enjoy the now. I'm trying to be a fortune teller and predict when things will happen and how I'll feel when they do. I'm worrying about things that haven't and probably WON'T even happen, but there I am, using precious time on the I can't waits and the future predictions. I know that what I am doing is not what I should be doing... I know that I need to leave the future to God and that I should enjoy and take peace in what is going on NOW. How many times do you allow yourself to wonder into the future like a balloon with no anchor. Soon enough it just keeps going further and further away. How do you get your thoughts and your focus back to the present? It is so stinkin' hard for me to do that I have to admit. To surrender all those thoughts of worry and what if's and focus my energy in what is happening right this minute, but with a little persistence and self -consciousness it is quite possible and quite healthy. No I'm not saying that thinking of your future is a big NO, NO. Obviously in our society is quite admirable for someone to have plans for the future and for that, you have to think about it and plan things out. It's also very nice to have something to look forward to, and God knows we all need a little sumn' sumn' to look forward to . But when does being a future voyager become harmful to our existence. It is when you're trying to direct your life in a certain way and not allowing God to lead you and bless you in the now. Do me a favor and try one whole day to not think about tomorrow. Focus your precious energy in what you are doing and see the blessings in it. Find God and goodness in all you're doing right this second. Be completely in the moment when talking to your loved ones. Be present in your life RIGHT now because who knows if there will be a tomorrow. What we do know is that there is a today and we are only "semi-living it" because our conscious thoughts are in the future. What a difference it might make in your relationships if you are present in the moment. What a difference it might make in you by allowing yourself to enjoy the now and leave the future to someone that knows best. Most of our anxiety is caused by fear of the unknown. Well, if we are constantly in the future in our heads, we are constantly in the unknown, therefore we are constantly in a state of anxiety. Why live this way when we can make the choice to live otherwise. I hope you have a beautiful day counting your blessings. I know I will be!

Stay saucy!

-Libier