News For Libier and Raising Money For Bridget's Dream

I just wanted to give you guys an update. I haven't written in a while. Lot's of stuff is going on!! We are taking a  new direction with raising money for Bridget's Dream. I started a company called ElSpace.Net where we will be producing fun videos for your enjoyment while hoping to raise the money through the art of our community. This is something that is near and dear to my heart and it's going to take some of your help. I am going to need help spreading the news about our website so that people can go and have the opportunity to help our city become better. My company is not going to gain one penny until we have reached the half a million for Bridget's Dream.  We are going to be working as volunteers on behalf of them until we can reach our goal! Then we will be helping other charities quarterly and a percentage of the moeny will always be going to help those in need! I am really excited about this and have hope that it will work out! I am also working on recording my first song so I can put it up on i-tunes for sale and 100% of the proceeds will also go to Bridget's Dream until we reach half a million so they can build their drop in center. I believe with all your help we can have this dream come true!! Thank you for  following the journey. It is surprising me at every turn!!

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libier

Taking A NEW Direction

I'll tell you something. I have had the pleasure of being sneaky and manipulative my whole life. I am being totally sacrastic right now because I dont think it's been a pleasure. It's been more like a curse and my survival mode. It comes from a very broken place. It comes from believing no one has my back and I have to either make things happen on my own or they will never get done. I haven't had the opportunity to learn  to trust ANYONE in life. So for 30 years I've been resorting to being sneaky and manipulative to sway the odds to go my way. I am in a vastly "impossible" journey right now, click HERE if you'd like to read my proposal. I am raising half a million dollars for a non-profit organization BridgetsDream.org. I am suggesting to anyone who pays for talent to hire me and pay them until we reached the half a mill. Well, I've been trying to do this since November of last year and no such "luck". I know ... I know.... that is not very much time, but in my little head it's been too long.

 Why doesn't God just coming down from his heavenly place and wave his magic wand and just giving us the half a mil? Why? Well. Although I fully believe that the impossible is POSSIBLE with God. I think his plan is better than mine. WHAT?! "How could that be impossible" In the words of my four year old. Although I belive in miracles, only becuse I've witness them myself...  I would not be alive right now typing this blog if it weren't for a miracle of God. I was in such a place of dispair last year that I literaly understand why people want to comit suicide. God got me out of that hell. He got me out of the darkest pit you could ever imagine. Without medicine.... without therapy (I am not suggesting that it isn't good to go to therapy, I think it's amazing to work things out with someone who can help you. I am also not suggesting taking medicine is bad when you need it. I just have a specific senario of why it worked out the way it did for me.) It's a miracle. Although I trust 95% that God can do it ALL, I know that he is doing something more amazing than I could ever imagine or come up with myself. Even thought I feel and know all these things I still struggle with taking matters into my own hands. By trying to manipulate cituations, people so on and so forth. I don't feel good saying it but I have to be honest about my heart and where it's at. The problem is that I don't HAVE to do that because I can take the pressure OFF myself and place the burden on HIM. He is the one who is going to help. I am only to be the hands and feet. Serving each day and being still (in my mind) and knowing that he is God. He will help. I know that. I just need to trust that he will and that I don't have to resort to sneaky and manipulating because I can fail him on a daily basis. But he, HE WILL NEVER FAIL ME. OR YOU.

With the help of some amazing friends I was able to put this journey on it's head. I am so grateful to have such amazingly talented and SMART friends. So we are going to focus our attention in a different direction for now.  I am going to ask our community for help. I am going to ask for artist in Sacramento to help me raise the money. And I am going to ask anyone who feels moved to donate to this cause to do so. I trust BridgetsDream.org I KNOW they have already helped so many people. And with the first survivor-led Drop in center in Sacramento, they will be able to help God only knows how many more. Stay tuned to what's next. If you'd like to help please let me know! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libier 

Bad News Bears

Hi friends and family! Just as I want to share with you they joys of my journey I think I've ought to share with you the difficulties too. If you haven't read the first proposal letter you can do so HERE. Today I started the day so anxious, super frazzled, feeling like ten million things were pulling at me. Feeling like I had no direction. I could have given in to that whim and most days I usually do and I turn out a hot mess at the end of the day. But not today! Today I decided to SLOW MY ROLL! I decided to meditate on what was important to get done. If you're anything like me you're wanting to just GO for the sake of getting more done. But today I've realized that zoning in on what is important and for me, praying about what direction I needed to take today has already lowered my heart rate. I don't feel anxious and I am ready for what the day has to bring. If you feel scattered, slow down. Listen to your body and allow some time for reflecting on what is important to get done just today, and cast everything else out the window! Love you all very much! May your day be filled with joy and peace!  For those of you who like scripture I loved James 1:2-6 today.

I am ending the day with no good news. In fact the company that had said yes last week is pulling back and I am very sad. I will not doubt God in all of this. I will not quit and I will not get discouraged even when all of me wants to just go back to my old life of predictability and safety. I will not quit. This proposal is not just about me modeling or acting. It is not about me at all-perhaps just that my body will be used for something good.  It is about the souls and families of souls that have been previously devastated by a dark force that tried to kill their little girl or their little boy with the grips of sex trafficking. It's for the little girl wondering if it matters that her innocence has been shattered. It's about the husband and wife working through a healing process from his wife being a victim of painful abuse. It's about leaving a legacy of resilience and defiant hope in a creator who can take a broken heart, heal it. Redeem it. And use it for the good of IT and many more people.  With God not one ounce of pain is wasted. This proposal is about helping those who have no voice. Who have no choice but to be slaves. I am sad tonight for this set back.  But I will rejoice in this difficult time of not having any breakthrough because I know it's coming, because I believe who it's coming from!! I don't know when, I don't know how. I just know it's coming. Thank you for your prayers, good thoughts, support and love.  I appreciate you!  

Stay blessed and stay saucy! 

Libier 

Share My Story? What!?

I was able to share my life with some amazing Jr. High and Highscool kids this Sunday. I have been dreaming of a day where God would give me the opportunity to speak from a very voulnerable place and put myself out there for the sake of people seeing his redeeming power through a broken heart, my very broken heart.  To actually experience what I've been invisioning for years was one of the most exhilarating and terrifying moments ever. I had a different feeling afterwards than what I thought I would have. I was emotionally exhausted from exposing my life story so candidly to so many people all at once, but thrilled to hope that my story would inspire many to belive God and trust Him. I am called to be a servant of God and in that servitude, there are often things that I would rather not do because I am scared to be judged, scared to fail, scared to succeed, scared to be persecuted yaddy.yaddy.yada! It is in the moments of vounerability and weakness that God can show his power and glory and that's where my servant heart comes in. I need to be reminded everyday that I want my own glory more than I want God's on a daily basis. Accepting that and dying to that daily... sometimes hourly is necessary for me to live my life for God and let Him have the glory He deserves. I am alive to be a confirmation of the light NOT to BE the light. I am responsible for using the talents and abilities He gave me to serve others; and telling my very broken story is just one of those things God has called me to do. I am so grateful for all the awful things that have happened to me. Without them I would not be who I am today. With out them I would not find God as my biggest satisfaction. Without them I would not truly trust God with my life and my family (As much as this wicked little sinner can trust Him- I don't boast on my power to trust the Lord, I boast on His amazing power to help me trust Him.) Without them I would not have compassion and love for my neighbors. Without them I would not understand God's grace and therefore be able to extend it to myself and others. I don't think it will ever become "easy"  to share my story but I hope that when I die people don't remember me for the "easy" things God helped me accomplish..... 

Stay blessed and stay saucy! 

-Libier 

Let Me Tell You How Much Money I've Raised!

Happy Friday friends and family! I hope this full week after the Holidays was productive and that you're alive! I am so grateful for 2015, a new start! Let me start by saying I sort of tricked you. To be honest I've raised $0 for the half a million that I want to raise for Bridget's Dream (If you need the beggining of this story click HERE)!

I haven't posted an update for a WHILE so there is a lot to cover. But I'm going to make it short and simple for you! Even though I still haven't raised any money yet there are soooooo many nuggets of hope! Nordstrom is STILL a big possibility, I talked to them this week but they were supper bogged down from the Holydaze! Sonia Kashuk actually has come on the HOPE waggon. I am waiting to hear back from their publicist, I am thinking possibly next week! I called Target this week and didn't have any luck getting a live person to talk to, only fun robots and they weren't very helpful, they kept hanging up on me. I guess they don't get programed with empathy or compassion.... I thought I would give up on Target and my amazing husband found a webiste called human.com where you can get an actual phone line with real live breathing people with pulses. I was able to get through three people and the third person knew the woman who does casting for commercials and print so she sent my request to her via e-mail.... MORE HOPE! THEN I followed up with Loui Vuitton... Can I just say I am utterly amazed at their level of customer servise. They have an incredible team of people. I talked to two very nice ladies and they both were super helpful. They e-mailed me saying that it takes approximately four weeks to review any proposals. So WE WAIT. THEN I wrote a proposal to Proctor and Gamble. Phew! 

Today though! I got my VERY FIRST YES! I don't know all the details yet so I won't be able to say whom! BUT I am freaking out!!!!! God is so good! After saying no, they changed their minds! God has given me a fierce persistance. It is not of me but of HIM! The old me would NEVER take rejection and tried again. I would just feel defeated and hurt that I had been rejected! He is a God of restoration and courage! I can't wait to learn all the details of how they are going to use me but this company is awesome and they are local. So stay tuned for all the details! 

I am in awe of the work God is doing in me through all of this. He is helping me trust Him more and more and know that in Him all things hold together. And all things are possible through HIM! I don't know when, I don't know how (and I've actually stopped getting butt hurt that GOD isn't giving me ALL the details because to be honest HE IS GOD - I am NOT. He can keep his ultimate plan and I just need to rely on Him one day at a time!) He is giving me a peace that surpasses my understandinig. Even though at times I fall appart in my head, even thougth at times I want to give up. I won't. I don't. Thank you for reading this! Stay tuned! If you feel called to, please share my story with your friends and family. Encourage someone to believe that miracles still exist. Me being alive is one of them! THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS, GOOD THOUGHTS, ENCOURAGEMENT, LOVE, HELP. Your involment in this is as crucial. We all have a hand in this and I thank you for being a part of this in which ever capacity you are from the bottom of my very ELATED heart right now! I am fixing my eyes on Him so that I don't become discouraged. He is calling me to be strong and couragous. I would have never believed I would be couragous in my entire life!! I've felt more like a coward than anything else in life. I've realized courage comes when we know how loved we are. Courage comes when we do what God is calling us to do EVEN if we feel afraid. He knows we will never NOT feel afraid but we don't have to BE afraid because if God is for us who can be against us?! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy 

-Libier 

Loving When You've Been Hurt

When we serve the people that have hurt us we are doing an amazing thing for God. Next time you're faced with the opportunity to bless someone who is or has been mean to you, fix your eyes on Christ. Pretend with all your might that the service you are doing is for God and not that person and see what a beautiful blessing God will pour out. We are here on this earth to serve. It is easy to serve those who are kind to us. Not easy to be kind or even serve or help those who are bullies. Not easy to forgive those who have yelled at us. Not easy to love those who have said awful and done awful things to us. Those actions are miracles,  only though Christ is that kind of love, forgiveness and service possible. Even if that person doesn't notice or anyone else for that matter, God is always watching!  And when we love Him with all our might we then can pour out his love onto those who are difficult to love. It is then that His face shall shine down onto yours and he will thank you from heaven for loving your brother or sister in Christ as you love yourself. Do the thing with Christ in mind, knowing that all we do is for Him and through him his love shall shine ever so brightly in your heart and you will expereience a joy and a peace that is beyond all your understanding.  

Understand and believe that God's character is one of justice, everlasting love and compassion. He understands your pain and he will never waste ANY of it. He will pay you double for your trouble if you choose to let Him in and help you. His promises are true. We don't need to take justice into our own hearts and keep polluting ourselves with bitterness and resentment. In the end, every knee shall bow. He is just and He will make every wrong right!  I know God's promises to be true because they have been realized in me. I trust God with my pain, I trust him with my dreams, I trust him with my family because the alternative is a life of anxiety, want, fear and pain. A life without purpose. It is not easy trusting God. I will admit that a year ago I couldn't in all honesty say those words without lying. But now I can and it feels amazing. I've never been able to trust anyone in my life. It has to start with God. He is the only one that will not disapoint. He is the only one that will never fail. It will not be easy, but nothing GREAT has ever come from "easy". He does promise that "when you pass through the waters He will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will NOT sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will NOT be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2 

Stay Blessed and Stay Saucy! 

-Libier 

 

My Uneven Eyebrows

So my entire life I've been looking at my eybrows and thinking "Man, I think my eyebrows are a little off." And when I say my entire life, I mean the recent 5-7 years. Every time I do my makeup I lift my right eyebrow with my fingers wishing that somehow it would stay even with it's left counterpart. I made peace with the fact that my face was off. My eyebrows were not going to ever be even and I just had to be okay with it or else i would have to have an "evening out the eyebrow area surgery". I don't even know if that's a thing, but if cutting your toes off to fit into Jimmy Choo's is a thing; than "evening out your eyebrow surgery" should be a thing too. Anyway, I know what you're thinking, "She's so dramatic" Well, you try having uneven eyebrows when putting on makeup is your thing! 

I was shopping at Ulta and in an attempt of desperation I asked the nice lady at the brow bar for Benefit to check my brows out. I told her my sad story, (refer to the story above if you'd like to hear it again). She looked at me and said, "Girl, they aren't even that bad!" I knew this, but you know how we are, so critical of ourselves. I said "I know, but it bothers me and I wanted to see if anyone had any advise for me." To which she asked, "How do you pluck your brows? Do you start from the top and go around to the bottom." I, of course as an expert at EVERYTHING I do said,  "Of course that's how I do it!" Feeling a little indignant that she asked..... With a bit of a smile on her face she replied, "Well you're doing it wrong!" You should start from the bottom and then go up." WHAT!? I had been plucking my eyebrows wrong my whole life!? It's in times like this that I question everything I do! She told me that if I do that and then let my other eyebrow fill in, they would for sure even out. 

So naturally I went home and tried what she said. OH MY GOSHY WILLICKERS! It flippin worked! What the heck!? I've been "struggling" with that for so long and all it took was for me to be less proud of what I "know" and ask someone else for advise. Maybe, just maybe other people know more about makeup and beauty than I do. What a humbling experience! 

Then I though, that's what happens in my realtionship with God! I think I already KNOW Him and I don't need to know more about how to live a life free in Christ and then I get humbled by what I don't know. In a way I have resolved to know nothing at all and ask God to guide me into knowing Him better. And he sure has. This whole year for me has been a very difficult year because I've asked God to help me know Him more, to help me know His love more deeply, to change the parts in me that hinder from knowing Him better and to use my brokness in a good way. Well, He's deffinitely been answering my prayers through circumnstanses that allow me to exersice my faith, refine my patience, my selfishness, my pride. I wouldn't have it any other way! It's been quite the adventure. God is anything but boring! He's been the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me! 

There is always room for growth and questioning if what we are doing is the right thing. Just because we've done something for so long in the same way doesn't mean it's the correct way for us. I hope you have a great day! If you have uneven eyebrows, there is hope my friend, there is hope! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy! 

-Libier Reynolds 

Miracles Through My Half A Million Dollar Journey

This week and a half has been crazy busy!! I always find it funny that there is so much pressure for us to have a wonderful time this season. For myself specifically I don't know of any other time that I feel more stress or feelings of disappointment. Why? Well I think I figured it out for me personally. I go to the outsources to make me feel the spirit of Christmas. Outsourses like hot chocolate and making cookies. Don't get me wrong those things are wonderful but if I personally don't go to God to get my joy and peace, those other things are so temporary that I am left feeling empty and disatisfied. With that being said, I hope that you find your way to feel that Christmas spirt. That you do have a peaceful and joyful Season where ever you are, what ever your circumstances.

I have some good news regarding my journey to raising a half a million dollars for Bridget's Dream. If you haven't read the proposal lettere click HERE. I experienced God's miracle in connecting me with a person that is very connected in the entertainment industry. What God has planned is beyond me. I am not going to try to udestand His plan. I am going to wait on His timing and TRUST that He knows what He is doing. He is giving me just enough light to walk each day and nothing more. I think in a way that is His way of protecting us. If we knew all that was going to happen to us we'd probably be too afraid to move forward. I can assure you though, miracles are happening.  We think of miracles as HUGE things that everyone can stand in awe of and don't get me wrong I believe that God is ABLE to do BIG miracles. I also believe that the miracles that happen internally, with-in our souls are as equally powerful. For me, the miracle that is happening in my heart is God taking me from the most obssessive person on earth, I mean I wanted to be in control of EVERYTHING and in the know of it all. I hated being taken by suprise and I always thought that my way was better than anyone elses (even God). I didn't know how to trust anyone! I never learned how. So, for me to sit here and tell you that my heart is surrendered to God and I am trusting in His plan and in His timing is a true miracle in itself. I am NOT saying that it's been a breeze for me. It has not. I have failed so many times in questioning God's timing and his plan but I surrender everytime I do. The more I practice surrendering myself I experience a peace that is beyond my comprehension. 

I did e-mail Sonia Kashuk's Team (they are a wonderful makeup brand that sells at Target) and I got an email back with their publicists information. I called and she was out (like so many other people are right now!) but I talked to someone and she liked my idea. She took my information down and said she would talk to the publicisit when she got back from vacation. SO THERE IS HOPE! There are so many possibilties out there. None have any concrete paths yet,  but I am trusting that in His time God will make the best move possible for Bridget's Dream. 

I write to you with an extremely thankful and hopeful heart. I am experiencing so much hope and joy!  We serve a God who is good, powerful and mighty to save! Even when we can't understand what He is doing, sometimes we are not meant to. Sometimes He asks us to TRUST Him and His promises. I do know that I am taking God out of my box and I am trusting Him for something BIG AND WONDERFUL. Because He will take things that are aweful and He will pay us double for our trouble! The devil means it for evil but God means it for the saving of many lives. Nothing you've EVER have gone through is out of God's reach to make into something good. If you trust Him and give Him your life he will never disappoint you! I have been through the ringer in my life and have spent so many years questioning God as to why. That has been the bigget waste of my time. When I decided I wanted to get better from all the wounds in my heart I made a choice to let God into my heart and allow him to heal me. What I found was the most exciting, loving and profound relationship I've ever experienced. Full of mercy and compassion. God cares about the state of our heart. He cares about what has wounded us. And he wants to fight evil with GOOD. I want to let him! I want to trust that even though terrible things have happened to me God is going to make beauty from these ashes. 

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

-Libier Reynolds 

Follow me on instagram: libierreynolds

Following The Half A Million Dollar Journey 12/16/14

Hi friends! I am so excited to share with you all the things that God is doing in this journey to raising a half a million dollars for Bridget's Dream! This week my focus was to make sure the battle field in my mind was subdued with God's truth and word. I know that this battle is more against myself and my fears of faliure and defeat than anything else. I know God already prepared the good works that he had in mind for me to accomplish. I believe that when he knit us all in our mother's womb, he KNEW why he was making us. The purpose we have has been predestined and it conincides with the talents and abilities God has given us. This life is hard. We all go through some level of trauma, abuse, loss, fear, abandonment, something tries to hold us back from being who we were meant to be. But God has won the battle in the end. God is just and kind and merciful and his love endures forever. Eventhough fear pulls us back into the mud to keep us from being the full realization of ourselves, God is wating for anyone to call his name for help. He is willing and able to not just help but to make us conquerours. This week my focus has been on praying that God would help me belive him over the doubts and fears in my head that I've believed for way too long. BELIEVE GOD MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS LIFE. That has been my mantra! (IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE FIRST POST OF THE JOURNEY SEE IT HERE)

The things that I have done this week to make sure that I am doing something every day for the goal to find a company to use me for their advertising are as follows; I e-mailed back Covergirl because they gave me a rejection e-mail saying they couldn't donate to the cause. I emailed a pretty confident e-mail saying I was willing to work hard if they changed their mind. I e-mailed YSL back. Marc Jacobs. Nordstom and The Ellen show. I called Nordstrom back with courage from the Holy Spirit and asked if I could speak to them more about the situation, even though they had already denied the proposal. They ended up sending me to someone that LIKED my idea!! We are waiting for the Holiday Season to be over to revisit since it's a crazy time of year. I am supper excited at this possibility! I mailed out big yellow envelopes with my pictures and my letter to Tiffany &  Co. , Piaget, Louis Vuitton since they have asked for a more fomal proposal. And just to be completely hopeful that God can do anything I sent one to the fan mail address for Steven Spielberg. l mailed personal notes to the kind people that have actually taken their time to have correspondance with me, I have appreciated it so much.  I called Sharif Jewler and the nice woman said she'd ask the owner. I called and emailed someone at Kate Spade. The end. 

That's it for now but my heart is FULL of hopeful antisipation to see how God is going to pull this off. This is all Him and I am just litteraly honored that he is wanting to use this broken little Mexican girl who was so scared of herself and everything else in this

world just a year ago. If God can use this life, he can use anyone. I am so undeserving and yet He continues to surprise me with the love and conpassion His splendor imprints in my soul. 

Thank you for your prayers and belief in this. I appreciate you going on this journey with me. We are all a piece of the puzzle. Stay tuned for an update next week! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy 

-Libier Reynolds 

A Rainbow In The Storm

(THIS IS NOT THE PICTURE I SAW, LOL) 

The other day it was seriously super stormy here in Sacramento. They sky was all dark, clouds in the way of the sun so it felt like a perpetual evening all day. I was driving at the time so all I could see was the dark gloomy sky. Everywhere I turned there were gray and sulky colors. Until something amazing happened, I started to see some beautifully bright colors to the right of my windshield. After my eyes focused on the beautiful sight I was seeing, I realized it was literally a fifth of a rainbow. I've never experienced anything like it. It was so healing to see that in the midst of the dark, in the midst of "gray", in the midst of a storm there was God's glory shining for me to see. Sometimes I feel like God wants me to exersice all the faith that I have in him and believe with all my heart that he is there. Even when it clearly does not feel like it. I love when things like that mirror what is happening in my heart. At this very moment in so many areas of my life, the sky is grey and gloomy, so to speak. But that does NOT take away from the fact that God is there and interestingly enough I was able to be even more grateful for that fifth of a rainbow in the midst of a dark and gloomy sky. Somehow it looked more radiant. More beauitiful in contrast. May God bless you today. May he keep you and help you understand how much he loves you! 

Stay Blessed and stay saucy! 

-Libier 

Progress In My Half A Million Dollar Journey

Hi friends! I am writting to you with all kinds of emotions in my heart! I want to document every sencond of this crazy journey and keep you guys updated as much as I can. I will also be doing youtube videos so you can pick if you want to read or watch the progress. 

On Thanksgiving day I emailed out to any company I found in a magazine that I thought would need models for their advertisment proposing the idea for me modeling for them and them paying Bridget's dream (an organization here in Sacramento that is commited to helping girls get out of the terror of human trafficking).  I knew going in to it that I was going to fight the battle from a stance of victory. I know that God is able to raise a half a million dollars. I just need to trust that it will be done. However there is that skeptical part of me that tells me, "what are you thinking?, this is crazy, ridiculous. Who do you think you are?- AND my favorite one- You're not good enough, no one is going to want to work with  you"  So to silence all of that mess in my hot head I've been saying scriptures to myself that negate those awful thoughts of unbelif and fear of failure.  

The next day after I emailed out, I got an email from Louis Vuitton. A ligitimate email from an actual person wiht a pulse that read my letter of intent and they asked me to mail in a formal letter to a different department for consideration! What the heck!? Is this real? THAT'S HOPE. A formal letter has been sent and I am praying for God to open doors there if that's what he wants. 

Then another email with a phone number for someone at Neiman Marcus.... This time I actually got to talk to a person in a high possition at Neiman Marcus. There was hope I was super excited.  However, last night they emailed me back saying it wasn't something they could do at this time. REJECTION. I don't know why but I litteraly wept. I had been on such a high from just the tangibility of talking to actual people in the industry and there was hope for some so when I got shut down it hurt so bad. Not just for me but for all the people that need help that I know Bridget's Dream can provide. But we are not giving up. We move forward. 

Today Thursday December 4, 2014 I went to midtown Sacramento and wanted to see if I could talk to some friends that might of know of someone in town that did advertising. I prayed that God would lead me in the way to go. I went a round about way because I was killing time before one of my friends would be at work. I turned on some random street and I look to my right and realize there is an advertising company right before my eyes. I stop and it looks closed, I look inside like a Creepy McCreeperson and see a and man with his dog sitting down and I call him over. He answers the door and I tell him my intent and ask him if he does advertising. Well he is the Senior associate of this company so I grab my baby out of the car, along with my headshot and my letter of intent ( If you havent read that click HERE). He hands me his card only it has a diffent name on it. I read it and my mind can't quite place the name but it sounds familiar. I end up saying hey is this Andy from Express Media? Well yes it is! It's someone I used to work with! Bill the senior associate lets me in the back to see Andy and we all talk and I end up showing them the trailer for the movie I just shot in 2012. I don't know what God has planned for this.. But I know it's going to be something. It was a miracle that I "stumbled" across this place. Stay tuned for more of this crazy journey. 

I guess I should tell you that on my way home I was laughing histerically and crying histerically at the gratitude and amazement I felt toward God.  When I started my relationship with God three years ago I really thought following him would mean a life devoid of excitement. I thought that all my bad habits that he so lovingly has stripped me from were my excitement being stripped from me and I would have some stale life trying to follow God's rules. Boy was I wrong. I have given up so much of my life for him BUT he is given me so much back.  My obedience toward him is flawed, it's by His grace that I am saved. I can not do anything to pay him back for what He did for me. But the more I learn who He is, I am willing and wanting to follow him more and more and through that, I have found peace that is worth more than gold.  He is an almightly God that can do what we can't. MIRACLES.   

Stay blessed stay saucy

The Journey of a Half a Million Dollar Miracle

To whom this may concern

     My name is Libier Reynolds I am an actor, dancer, singer and model from Sacramento CA. I recently starred in the independent IMDB accredited film, Splashed. This movie has to do with human trafficking and it has changed my life knowing the devastation going on in our country, let alone in my own city.  The capital of California is one of many American cities identified by the FBI as a hub for sex-trafficking. I am suggesting something radical in order to raise a half a million dollars for an organization here in Sacramento called Bridget's Dream. They help children and women that have been abused in the human trafficking world. They would love to build an onsite facility that would house services designed to empower and restore these souls that have been badly wounded. I would like to offer myself in the capacity of an actor or model to raise the funds necessary for this organization. I am suggesting that you would consider having me as your model or actor for a cause. It would be only for a short season.  My hope and prayer is that many hearts would be moved to use me and that the funds would be raised in a miraculous manner. I have faith that this is possible with the help of giving hearts. I would love to speak to someone further about this to share my ideas about it.  Thank you so much for your time in reading and considering my letter. I write to you with an extremely heavy heart for all these hurting people that need help. The help is willing, but the funds are lacking. However, I also write this letter with a joyful excitement to see what will come from this.



   From a business standpoint, this is a really cool idea for your company to help a cause in a creative way by using someone who is willing to give 100% of their pay to an organization that will provide hope and a future for hearts that have been previously devastated. Imagine that you could be a piece of the puzzle in a plan so divine that would restore and redeem who knows how many souls.  I am not naive to the fact that I probably can't stop human trafficking. It is a vicious, devastating and worldwide issue that is perpetuated by demand. I do however have the hope that in the midst of all of this darkness and despair a light will shine that is brighter and will shine more in the darkness. I want to hope and believe that there are people in this world that want to make a difference. I thank you once again for your time. Here is all of the information you might need to make a decision to contact me and possibly have a meeting with me and the director of Bridget's Dream.

My website: LibierReynolds.com
Website for Splashed the movie I star in: splashedthemovie.com
Bridget's Dream:   http://www.bridgetsdream.org/
My New Youtube Channel: youtube.com/mrslibrey

She Stole My Necklace

One thing I hate in parenting is having to discipline my children. I. Hate. It. I would rather be having fun with my children. BUT I am their mother and God is calling me to be a godly mother that will think and pray heavenward about all my parenting choices. Discipline is a good thing when done in prayer and in love.  The Holy Spirit is always willing to help me parent my children.  I've learned that in every situation I have to discipline, there is a beautiful opportunity to show God's love and point my children toward his grace.  

This morning was my four year olds Thanksgiving presentation at her school. Of course we all had to get ready a little more than usual. so there was a very Chirst like sense of chaos and urgency in our home. I like to be sacrasctic, can't you tell? I was frantically looking for my necklace I had left on my vanity and I could not find it. I called Maddy into my room and asked her if she had seen it and she said she hadn't. We have had such a history with her breaking my jewelry, her and I, that I did not believe her for a moment.  I told her to please tell me the truth and she did. She took the necklace and now can't find it anywhere. I serious to goodness was so dissapointed. I was mad and I wanted to just yell at her. This will be about the fifth thing she's either broken or misplced. I have had problems with my anger and all I kept thinking was, "In your anger, do not sin". I cooled down and told her I needed a moment to think and pray. That I was upset at her choice. We got in the car and she wanted to talk to me and I told her I couldn't. 

As we drove to school I could feel her shame. I could feel the way she felt. So ashamed and sad at the bad choice she had made. To have failed once again. As I had some quiet to pray and think I felt the Holy Spirit remind me of how many times my father in Heaven has forgiven me. And how many more times he'll have to. How he's never said to me. "I am too mad to talk to you right now."  I knew my little girl would probably have a terrible day and a horrible time on the stage trying to sing if I didn't talk to her and remind her of my love for her and God's love for her. This is what I said to her before we got out of the car to drop her off. 

"Honey I know that you feel badly for taking mommy's necklace. I am very disapointed in the choice that you made. And there will be a consequece for your choice when we get home. However, I want to talk to you about Jesus and his grace right now. I am like you. Just a little older... (I know, I know but she doesn't have to know how old I am just yet) I too make bad choices and if I come with a sincere heart toward Jesus and ask for his forgiveness, he will graciously give it to me. And his love for me will never end. And neither will his love for you EVER end and neither will mine. I need you to know that there are consequinces for all th choices that you make. You are loved and you will be forgiven. I can only hope that next time when you are tempted to take another necklace you will pick the better choice. You are a great kid and I love you and this doesn't take away from the other good choices you have made. I want you to go to shcool and to go on stage knowing you are loved." 

She was so happy and no longer had that shame on her beatifulul little face. Once we got home she paid the consequence I had for her.  She came to me and said. "Mommy after my 'consquequence' can I come say I'm sorry to you?" with little tears in her eyes. I said, "Of course you can." It gives me joy to think that at four she already has such a beaitful heart. 

I asked God to help me not to make her feel afraid to tell me the truth, I asked God to help me point her to Him, and I asked him to help me figure out a discipline that was lasting and not just momentarly effective. I also asked God to help me convey to this precious four year old that she is WAY more important than a necklace to me and that making good choices is better  because it makes our hearts full of peace and joy. I asked God to help me love her even when I didn't feel loving toward her because I was mad. I do feel like he answered my prayer. 

I pray for you and your parenting too. If you're having a hard time my heart goes out to you.I KNOW it's not easy. But all is possible with God almighty! So cling on to his hand for he is one mightly and powerful God! 

-Stay blessed and stay saucy

Libier 

And They Said I Couldn't Garden

I have a black thumb.  There, I said it. I think I bring my family disgrace by such wretched and awful gardening skills. I was tempted to take a picture of the recent flower that died on me for you guys to fully understand the way that I am capable of killing plants. But I spared your eyeballs. You. Are. Welcome. 

We have a flower box that I begged my husband for below our window that faces the street. I envisioned red beautiful flowers thriving in all their glory. I asked for the budget to purchase those flowers and my husband said I better buy them some place that can return them in case they died. He knows me all too well. I told him to give me a year and if I killed them I would just buy fake ones and never bother with buying any living organism ever again.  He came in one day from the yard and tells me "honey your plant out back... [I looked at him as he caught my attention] .."IT'S thriving!" If you couldn't tell by the capitalized AND italicized word, he was smiling with sarcasm. Just as that plant had died a terrible death, so did my red geraniums in my planter box.  Mind you, I asked for plants that you couldn't kill. Oh these are resilient they said, you won't kill these, they said...  They hadn't even made it half the year and they all looked dead and so sad. SO I returned them and got fake ones. I did however manage to not fully kill two little bundles. So I thought I would plant them in my "once thriving with plants that I also killed round spot" for the longest time nothing was happening. All I saw were green leaves. That's a good sing though. Anything not brown in plants is good right? So I left them. Doug kept threatening me to rip them out, to replace them with a tree but I kept asking him to give them a chance. 

A few weeks ago as I pulled in my driveway a bright red color caught my eye! MY FLOWERS BLOOMED! My four year old got so excited with me she tells her dad, "Daddy mommy's garden is so beautiful". Ahhhhh bless the hearts of little children. So we named the flower FAITH. I am happy to report that because God has sent in some rain (because I have forgotten to water the thing) FAITH the geranium, has multiple buds of flowers and she is beautiful. Not only has she endured all sorts of adversity (ANY plant that can withstand my black thumb is a resilient survivor. ) But she in comparison to my FAKE plants now residing on my window box- looks stunning. Those fake plants do not hold a candle to her TRUE colors and spirit. Even though she doesn't look perfect, even though some of her leaves have holes in them, EVEN though some of her flowers are a little dried out, her beauty so radiates from the inside and has truth and life ringing through her that all of the other "perfect" looking flowers are left in the background and all I want to look at every time I pull in, is her. I know she didn't do it on her own. God has helped her and strengthened her. If he has done that for her what more can he do for us? 

Now something else that blessed my heart so much here is that the other day I went up to look at FAITH the geranium and to my surprise the plant that I for sure thought was dead next to her is now full of little buds that will flower in a few days. FAITH inspired her friend to bloom for herself! What an image. I hope to God that you are following my crazy mind here. When we abide in God and we allow him to help us have fruit, we inspire those around us to trust him to do the same for them. I hope that if you're feeling today that you are that flower on it's last days hanging by a thread, you've been beat up, you've endured your own version of my black thumb. I pray and hope that you hang on. That you ask God for his help and that you abide in his word and watch to see if he doesn't grow some amazing flowers in your heart.  He is willing and he is able! Bloom on lover muffins! 

Here's a picture of my FAITH and the fakies. Look for yourself, which flower would you rather be? 

Stay blessed and stay saucy! 

-Libier

Healing In The Pain

If I can be honest with ya'll I've been going through one of the most excruciatingly painful times of my life. It has been a very difficult season in my life and my families as well. When momma ain't happy ain't no body happy, has been a true and tried motto in this house. I've asked that God's grace would cover much of the crazy mood swings I've been having and I know that his grace HAS covered so much of my shortcomings this past year. 

I am going through a healing time with God. He has called me to the wilderness with him and we are sitting in a very dark, very painful and uncomfortable place Him and I. Before I started reading my bible a lot more consistetnly I didn't know that there was much of my life that needed to be changed. I think I was living in a safe reality that I had so carefuly created for myself. I was safe. I pretended to myself that I  was "content" with my place in life and I wasn't going to take many risks. As long as my little world spinned my way, I was fine. I did so much to try to control my life and that of my husband and kids, in order to not feel out of control.  But to be honest it was getting to be too exhausting and I could tell something was wrong, I just coudln't tell you what the heck the matter WAS. I was trying to fix things as they poped up instead of going to the root of my issues. 

I knew before I started reading my bibile that I had many flaws. I knew that. But I didn't know that God wanted to help me shed some of the things that were hindering me from knowing him better and from living a life full of adventure, joy and peace. FREEDOM was something I thought I had, until now. I KNOW God is setting me free as we speak. It wasn't until I was honest with myself and with God about the state of my heart that the healing began.  I didn't trust God. I wasn't free and I didn't show many signs of the fruit of His spirit. I knew I was being a hypocrite calling myself a Christian when the life I lead pointed the opposite direction. 

As I am healing, God keeps helping me understand each step when I am ready. Right now I am in the stage of acceptance. I am praying for God to help me have acceptance be the backbone of my healing. When I first learned that I had been sexualy abused I didn't want to belive the little girl inside me telling me there was something wrong. God exposed all the truth so it would set me free. It has been the most painful thing I've ever felt as a thrity year old woman to admit to herlsef that she has been badly hurt. But in accepting it, I have been able to experience peace.  I have been able to understand myself a little deeper and to KNOW that it was NOT my fault. It was not ME. THAT didn't come from me not matter how my body reacted. There has been an extreme change in my heart. I no longer feel angry all the time. God has allowed me to process my emotions in His loving arms. I struggle with anxiety and I have had more panic attacks than I'd like to admit. But through every one, the minute I allowed it to just be, the minute I surrendered ALL of my emotions to God; it was as if black tar was flowing from my heart outward into the His light and being changed into good energy instead of being stuck inside of me and coming out at non-welcomed times and places. I knew that if I didn't decide to heal with God on this, that it would eventually kill me. If it didn't kill me physically it would have mentally and emotionally. 

That is why I am trusting God to help me heal. But with healing, comes pain. I have been so badly hurt in my life that I am terrified of pain. The more I heal, the more accepting of pain I become. I welcome it because  I would rather be in pain and know peace and my savior than be pretending nothing is wrong and feeling hopeless, bitter and angry. There is healing in the pain. There is an end to the madness. My pain becomes energy to help someone else with their pain and my hope is that their pain will help someone else with their pain, and so on and so forth. I have learned that all of the things that happened to me have the opportunity to work for the good of me and other people. Genesis 50:20 Joseph said to his brothers. "You intended to hurt me but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." I know that this is hard stuff to hear and to talk about. But the devil loves secrecy for that very reason. It isolates us and makes us feel like we're the only damaged one. That is a lie from the pit of hell! 

God has such a loving and compassionate heart he knows what we all have been through and he wants to heal us from all of our pain. In this life my pain may never go away completely. I know that I will remember the feeling I had when I started to heal, so I can empathise with another sister or brother of mine that has gone through the same thing. So that I can hold them tightly and tell them of how God has redeemed me and  that he will do the same for them. I actually don't want to forget. The people that have helped me the most in this trying time have been people that have also suffered pain and know how to give an encouraging hug and point me to Jesus. We will never have the ability to heal anyone in our lives, we have to realase them into the hands of Jesus;  but what we can do is what the bible instructs us to do which is "Mourn with those who mourn; rejoice with those who rejoice." Romans 12:15

I might be in pain right now but I am recovering. The one thing I won't do is give up. I heard Christine Caine say this today and I could not agree more. " The devil on his BEST day didn't take me out on MY WORST day." God has already won the fight. We need only to grasp his hand tighly and let Him help us embrace the pain of recovery. Because the devil will tell you that because you're in pain you are still not healed. NO FRIENDS! It's because we are healing that we feel pain. Praise God. 

By allowing God to help me heal the quality and amazingness of my life has doubled! I can now hold my head up high with the dignity that God provides me. I do believe that in heaven I will not experience any of this pain. And you won't either. 

 Stay blessed and stay saucy 

-Libier Reynolds 

I See YOUR Peanut

The other day I sat with my two girls and had a nice relaxing lunch.  Instead of eating on the go or standing up, I SAT DOWN (yes, Mommy you can sit down to eat from time to time). It was so very nice to sit and chat with my four year old and make annoying sounds to my one year old. I think I forget that Haylee is fully capable to understand me even when I don't talk to her like a little baby! As we sat and enjoyed our lunch I busted out my spicy peanuts that my dad gave me.  I really didn't want to share them because they are soooo yummy but that's when you know you've grown as s person and mommy. When you are willing to give your last bite or share something that you really really like with your children. Or husband or boyfriend or cat? Well nonetheless, as soon as the plastic crackled from my fingers starting to open the bag they KNEW I had something yummy.  Mind you at this point I'm still thinking I can "hide" the bag behind the cereal box and sneak them into my mouth without recognition. But NOPE.  Haylee starts nagging and signing for "more" and Maddy asks me to share with her. . So I share.  ONE peanut with Haylee first and Maddy looks at Haylee-looks at her peanut and then at me and says "momma, where's mine?" Mind you, I had already given her ONE peanut and it was RIGHT in front of her, but she was too busy looking at the sisters peanut and then complaining to me that I hadn't given her one to notice. WOW. What a teachable moment. For ME! 

I love when God disciplines me through me disciplining my children. It's quite hilarious. I understood him telling me that if I am caught up looking at someone else's peanut, I will never notice or enjoy my own. The act of coveting, comparison and complaint toward God are slipery slopes for me.  They trap me in a lie that I have not enough. I get stuck  in a paradigm of scarcity instead of one of plenty. When I am focusing on how God is blessing someone else and wishing I had that, I forget to look at the blessings right here in my life. I forget how BIG and loving God is and that he wants to bless me and has the capability to do so. But my attitude first needs to change. No matter what God gives me, if my attitude is one of ungratefulness and looking at the glass half empty, nothing he ever does for me will ever be enough. I want to re-wire my thinking. I want everyday to be a day of gratitude. I want to keep my eyes focused on my relationship with God and be grateful for what I already have. 

I hope you can focus on your peanuts with me! Together we can ALL eat our peanuts and enjoy that God has plenty for all of us. We serve a POWERFUL AND MIGHTY GOD! 

Go to LIBIERREYNOLDS.com for other ways to connect with me! Facebook, YouTube, Instagram.  

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

Love, Libier

What The Crotch!?

There are days in my life that are just perfect. Days that I feel so happy to be alive. You know that kind of joy and excitement that makes you all giddy and makes you want to pee your pants... Do you know what I'm talking about? No? Yeah, me either, I've never peed my pants or anything. Anyway! Those are days that I just want to hold on to so hard! And there are other days that I feel like nothing is going right. Somehow my children seem possessed by all kind of bad behaving demons and my face has a huge pimple that came out of nowhere, I feel bloated, somehow none of my clothes fit me. By the grace of God, I manage to get everyone in the car and feel somewhat successful  and then because I don't have clean hot beverage travel mugs  (this problem mind you, seems to only happen when I'm having an off day) my coffee spills onto my crotch. Have you had a day like this? Yeah I'm sure everyone has different circumstances but "good days" vs. "bad days" nonetheless.

I find that on that awful day there is something brewing in my heart that is trying to come out and I'm not allowing it. Somehow, if I dismiss my heart telling me that there is an issue I have to address, I end up having the "bad" day. My circumstances don't change much from day to day but my attitude and my perception of my day do. Especially if there is unresolved conflict in my inner wo(man). Paul the apostle said "I have learned the secret of being content in ANY and EVERY situation." Philippians 4:12 Now Paul wasn't saying this while enjoying a cup of joe like I get to (even if it HAS burned my crotch). He had endured so much for the sake of his faith. However, how can I make my theology become my reality through Paul's beautiful example? I take these two things from this.  

1- No matter what I am going though, if it's difficult for ME, GOD cares and He wants to help me. Nothing is too petty for God. He is compassionat and he knows why I am the way I am. He knows all the broken places and wants to heal them. Jesus has felt every kind of pain and suffering so whatever I am going through he cares and he understands. 

2- Jesus is the anchor that holds me together when everything in my life is out of control. He is the constant that provides unfailing love, mercy and grace ALL the time. It isn't based on my performance. Thank God! 

Jesus WILL see us through some of the darkest days in our lives. He is the "secret" to being content in all circumstances. 

I pray that God would help me surrender my control to him right now. And I pray that if you're reading this that you would be encouraged and that you would allow God to show you that he is trustworthy. Nothing is too small or too big for God. 

Stay blessed and stay saucy!  

-Libier 

The Bright Orange Cones

There is a HUGE project  by my house for restructuring a massive street that has freeways connecting on a highly trafficked street in my home town. It has been annoying and awesome watching these Cal transit peeps work on it for the last year or so. At first, it didn't seem like they were getting much done. Then came all the demolition and reworking the streets, Lots of noise with all the digging up through concrete and such. Lanes had to be blocked off, sometimes some lanes were not even open. It has definitely been an adventure leaving and coming home for some time now. I never know which lanes will be open. I can't just be on auto pilot, you know. Which by the way one time I totally drove all the way to my HIGH SCHOOL after a couple of years of graduating, so yeah,you can very much be on auto pilot. It seems like they have to be more in the completion stages of the thing and I have grown used to the way things are now, until today!

They are working on this little loopty-woo (yep that's a word) that takes you from the big scary street to the small residential street and it loops around. Well I was on auto pilot, praying, mind you and all of the sudden all I see are these bright orange cones starting to line up a very different lane than I'm used to. I got a little nervy and grasped at the wheel a little tighter and asked God to help me not panic. I made it through just fine but was a little startled (not much compared to the way I would've been like before. I used to have terrible driving anxiety. This time my palms didn't even sweat!). It was funny that I was just praying that God would lead me in my life. I was asking him to not  let me "drive far off from Him" at that moment. And with that image I had an epiphany that HE WILL AND IS guiding me. He has been since before I knew Him and even more so now that I am asking for his help.

Just as the construction project in my neighborhood, it's taking a little time for God to do the work that he needs to do. But if you could see my heart you could see a huge construction site. Some parts still look without shape, a little ugly if you will. Some have more structure. Some things God has had to demo and tear down. However, now my detours don't seem scary. Every 'WILD' turn I allow my heavenly father to take me on I can feel him holding my hand ever so tightly. When I need redirecting he will put some bright orange cones to lead me into the right direction. I pray that you will believe God for his word is true. Psalm 119:105 He said that he will be "a lamp to my feet And a light to my path". I want to believe him. I hope you do too!

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

The Christmas Spirit

In August I decided to go on a year commitment to not buy what I don't need. I was doing fantastic until November when my birthday came and I got a few presents. Oh boy the joy of getting gifts was just so nice. I felt like I hadn't had something nice in a really long time, however it had only been two months in reality that I probably hadn't bought any new item of clothing or such. I felt like a shark with blood floating around me. The feeling of "I want THAT, I NEED that, I GOTTA HAVE that." was upon me. It hasn't made things better that Christmas is just around the corner and stores are so aggressive in their amazing deals and marketing. "This store is having a great sale",  I would say. "This arm hair extractor with a built in waffle maker is never going to be on sale, EVER again!  The feeling of a bottomless pit has settled quite nicely in my soul. That is exactly what I was trying to alleviate myself from by doing this year challenge of not buying what I don't need. To be content with what I have. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with buying something nice for your self. However, if it comes in between you and God, we have a problem. I have struggled with the feeling of never having enough for a long time. Any time I am not in the word of God (the Bible) or giving myself time to pray and meditate on God I get super squirrelly. I get this anxious feeling and I am never satisfied. No matter how much I think either buying stuff will fulfill me, or eating stuff (this is my other struggle in life!) will fulfill me. All these feelings came to a halt when anxiety came upon me when I didn't have "enough" Christmas decorations up at my house. SERIOUSLY?  What is Christmas about anyway?!

The world we live in is so distracting and sneaky at robbing us from true peace and joy. All of the distractions of this life take away from what Christ really wants us to experience this Christmas season AND ALWAYS. His UNFALING love and his indescribable peace. I don't need decorations to have the Christmas spirit in me because Christmas should be about rejoicing that Christ was born. If I want to have that "Christmas Spirit", or just peace through out the year, all I have to do is spend more time with God. Material things are nice, but not when they make me feel the opposite of what living a life free in Christ feels. The few times in my life that I've really devoted myself to truly seeking God more than anything in this world;have been some of the most inexplicably joyful, peaceful and fulfilling moments of my life. To think that everyone that seeks God and his peace can have it is amazing to me. We can have it every single day of our lives if we wanted it! But we are only human, and that's okay.  He understands how difficult it is for us, and that is comforting. It is so difficult because there are a million distractions in this world. 

Consider this passage. 7 "But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. Philippians" 3:7  

When we finally get a taste of God's peace, our souls can't settle on the garbage that is of this world. I keep running back to Him even if I fail him over and over and over again. He will NEVER fail me. Or YOU if you let Him! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy! And a very Merry Christmas to you! 

-Libier 

Down in the Dumps

                 

              I'm going through a really tough time right now. Everything is really coming together to form one big pile of poop if you ask me. My Aunt Sharon just passed away. My mom is far far away and I won't get to see her in a long time. I was in the ER last Friday and now I have to have a colonoscopy to figure out what's wrong with me. My friends are having issues of their own. I have a three year old and a four month old and I'm trying to figure out how to be a mommy of two. My daughter's pediatrician told me she's too "little" since she's in the 0 percentile and is basically telling me I am not feeding her enough, even though she is healthy, happy and hitting all her milestones.  It seems like I'm getting a cold, and oh I just stubbed my big'ol toe. Just kidding, the last one is the only one that's not for real real. I probably sound like a whinny little sinner to you. However, all these things are actual stresses in my life that are affecting me in a very real way. I can also sit here and type out the million things I am blessed with, because I am; But that's not the point of this post.

               The point of this post is to uplift anyone who feels like the walls are caving in, FOR WHAT EVER REASON. We live in a world that promotes self reliance, ALL time pleasure, ALL time happiness, ALL time SELF. It  is impossible to have those things at all times. That's why we keep searching.. We are all walking around pretending like we have it all together putting up a facade of perfectness to our neighbor. When someone is going through a tough time we say, "Don't worry it's going to be okay" ...... " I can tell you a WAY worse story than that and I lived through it. You'll be fine." ..... "What did you do to deserve this?"..... All the while when something is happening to us we wonder why no one understands us, why we feel so alone. I say we start by being real with one another, realizing that we are all broken one way or another. We ALL have shortcomings. And more importantly we are all hardwired with feelings for a reason. TO FEEL THEM. If we walk around all day pretending we are perfect and minimizing our own pain and the pain of others we are damaging a beautiful connection with our brothers and sisters of this world. We can all look put together, pretend that hard circumstances don't shake us, that we make ourselves happy and we can stand alone; but that's why everyone is going home and secretly living out their depression. For the most part alone. God didn't create us to be alone.

           God wants us have feelings and to love one another. What ever you are going through today, this week, this year. If you have a hardship, it matters.  It matters to God. I hope that you can start by not minimizing your own pain. It hurts because it matters to you and that's okay. With God it is possible to be in a dark place because He's got more light than you can ever imagine. If you come to God with your hurts He will heal them in time. Don't rush the process. as long as it's in prayer God will deliver you in His timing. Second I hope that if you read this you can know that when someone you love is going through a tough time even if you don't know what to do or what to say, the safest bet is emulating your loved one's feelings. Make them feel like you care by saying, yes this really sucks! Give people a chance to mourn what ever needs mourning.

          Even though I'm going through an incredibly difficult time in my life right now, God has been so faithful in sprinkling in so many blessings through out my days. But more importantly I've come to know Him better, I've learned how to be compassionate (let's hope I remember next time someone needs my help!)  and I've been able to exercise my FAITH muscle which can only be exercised when going through a tough time. I am no more going to have faith if I have an easy life, than a toddler will eat his spinach while staring at a chocolate cake. Unless they hate chocolate....  but you get the point. I can say that I have all the faith in the world, until I am tested, then somehow the majority goes out the window and I am humbled and can be real with myself and God. Be real. Be true. Just be you, you have no one to impress but God and he already loves and accepts you more than you can ever fathom.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!