She Stole My Necklace

One thing I hate in parenting is having to discipline my children. I. Hate. It. I would rather be having fun with my children. BUT I am their mother and God is calling me to be a godly mother that will think and pray heavenward about all my parenting choices. Discipline is a good thing when done in prayer and in love.  The Holy Spirit is always willing to help me parent my children.  I've learned that in every situation I have to discipline, there is a beautiful opportunity to show God's love and point my children toward his grace.  

This morning was my four year olds Thanksgiving presentation at her school. Of course we all had to get ready a little more than usual. so there was a very Chirst like sense of chaos and urgency in our home. I like to be sacrasctic, can't you tell? I was frantically looking for my necklace I had left on my vanity and I could not find it. I called Maddy into my room and asked her if she had seen it and she said she hadn't. We have had such a history with her breaking my jewelry, her and I, that I did not believe her for a moment.  I told her to please tell me the truth and she did. She took the necklace and now can't find it anywhere. I serious to goodness was so dissapointed. I was mad and I wanted to just yell at her. This will be about the fifth thing she's either broken or misplced. I have had problems with my anger and all I kept thinking was, "In your anger, do not sin". I cooled down and told her I needed a moment to think and pray. That I was upset at her choice. We got in the car and she wanted to talk to me and I told her I couldn't. 

As we drove to school I could feel her shame. I could feel the way she felt. So ashamed and sad at the bad choice she had made. To have failed once again. As I had some quiet to pray and think I felt the Holy Spirit remind me of how many times my father in Heaven has forgiven me. And how many more times he'll have to. How he's never said to me. "I am too mad to talk to you right now."  I knew my little girl would probably have a terrible day and a horrible time on the stage trying to sing if I didn't talk to her and remind her of my love for her and God's love for her. This is what I said to her before we got out of the car to drop her off. 

"Honey I know that you feel badly for taking mommy's necklace. I am very disapointed in the choice that you made. And there will be a consequece for your choice when we get home. However, I want to talk to you about Jesus and his grace right now. I am like you. Just a little older... (I know, I know but she doesn't have to know how old I am just yet) I too make bad choices and if I come with a sincere heart toward Jesus and ask for his forgiveness, he will graciously give it to me. And his love for me will never end. And neither will his love for you EVER end and neither will mine. I need you to know that there are consequinces for all th choices that you make. You are loved and you will be forgiven. I can only hope that next time when you are tempted to take another necklace you will pick the better choice. You are a great kid and I love you and this doesn't take away from the other good choices you have made. I want you to go to shcool and to go on stage knowing you are loved." 

She was so happy and no longer had that shame on her beatifulul little face. Once we got home she paid the consequence I had for her.  She came to me and said. "Mommy after my 'consquequence' can I come say I'm sorry to you?" with little tears in her eyes. I said, "Of course you can." It gives me joy to think that at four she already has such a beaitful heart. 

I asked God to help me not to make her feel afraid to tell me the truth, I asked God to help me point her to Him, and I asked him to help me figure out a discipline that was lasting and not just momentarly effective. I also asked God to help me convey to this precious four year old that she is WAY more important than a necklace to me and that making good choices is better  because it makes our hearts full of peace and joy. I asked God to help me love her even when I didn't feel loving toward her because I was mad. I do feel like he answered my prayer. 

I pray for you and your parenting too. If you're having a hard time my heart goes out to you.I KNOW it's not easy. But all is possible with God almighty! So cling on to his hand for he is one mightly and powerful God! 

-Stay blessed and stay saucy

Libier 

The Christmas Spirit

In August I decided to go on a year commitment to not buy what I don't need. I was doing fantastic until November when my birthday came and I got a few presents. Oh boy the joy of getting gifts was just so nice. I felt like I hadn't had something nice in a really long time, however it had only been two months in reality that I probably hadn't bought any new item of clothing or such. I felt like a shark with blood floating around me. The feeling of "I want THAT, I NEED that, I GOTTA HAVE that." was upon me. It hasn't made things better that Christmas is just around the corner and stores are so aggressive in their amazing deals and marketing. "This store is having a great sale",  I would say. "This arm hair extractor with a built in waffle maker is never going to be on sale, EVER again!  The feeling of a bottomless pit has settled quite nicely in my soul. That is exactly what I was trying to alleviate myself from by doing this year challenge of not buying what I don't need. To be content with what I have. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with buying something nice for your self. However, if it comes in between you and God, we have a problem. I have struggled with the feeling of never having enough for a long time. Any time I am not in the word of God (the Bible) or giving myself time to pray and meditate on God I get super squirrelly. I get this anxious feeling and I am never satisfied. No matter how much I think either buying stuff will fulfill me, or eating stuff (this is my other struggle in life!) will fulfill me. All these feelings came to a halt when anxiety came upon me when I didn't have "enough" Christmas decorations up at my house. SERIOUSLY?  What is Christmas about anyway?!

The world we live in is so distracting and sneaky at robbing us from true peace and joy. All of the distractions of this life take away from what Christ really wants us to experience this Christmas season AND ALWAYS. His UNFALING love and his indescribable peace. I don't need decorations to have the Christmas spirit in me because Christmas should be about rejoicing that Christ was born. If I want to have that "Christmas Spirit", or just peace through out the year, all I have to do is spend more time with God. Material things are nice, but not when they make me feel the opposite of what living a life free in Christ feels. The few times in my life that I've really devoted myself to truly seeking God more than anything in this world;have been some of the most inexplicably joyful, peaceful and fulfilling moments of my life. To think that everyone that seeks God and his peace can have it is amazing to me. We can have it every single day of our lives if we wanted it! But we are only human, and that's okay.  He understands how difficult it is for us, and that is comforting. It is so difficult because there are a million distractions in this world. 

Consider this passage. 7 "But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. Philippians" 3:7  

When we finally get a taste of God's peace, our souls can't settle on the garbage that is of this world. I keep running back to Him even if I fail him over and over and over again. He will NEVER fail me. Or YOU if you let Him! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy! And a very Merry Christmas to you! 

-Libier 

Working Hard Or Hardly Working

I don't know how much you know me but if you do know me at all you know that I have 101 ideas runing through my head daily about cool things I want to do. Projects I want to dig my teeth into, crafts I want to start, classes I want to teach. If you came up to me on any given day and asked me what "ideas" were jogging down my membraine, I could easlily rattle off at least 2-3 (I'm being a little more realistic here, see?).

With that comes a greater chance that the 2-3 ideas perusing in my mind, will never come to fruition. I really don't know why I do that ( I think I was just made a do'er) but sometimes it's exhausting in my brain! Sometimes I wish I could not have any ideas at all. But then again that wouldn't really be me.

Aaaany waaaay! I've been taking a hard look at the makeup of myself and seeing how I tend to like to do a lot of things, however, I'm not AMAZING at any ONE thing. Not that it's a terrible thing, but when I think of why, the answers always comes to me with "well I don't think I'm working hard enough" at the things I really do love. For example. I love to dance, I wasn't classically trained but I do love it. I can pick up choreography and dance like it's the last thing I'll ever do. BUT I can't say that at ANY given point I really worked extremely hard at getting really really good. I've lacked discipline.

WHY? Well I can't tell you easily that it just comes down to being a tad bit lazy and scared of failing. Because when I do something kind of half-assed, I don't run the risk of failure, or embarrassment, or hurting myself in any way. In other words I have to be willing to go all in and be okay with failing dramatically in order to say, I've worked hard at something. I'm not that kind of person. I don't want to "fall". I like to play it safe and stay within my comfort zone because there I can pretend that I'm this cool person that makes no mistakes right? Ha, even saying that sounds so ridiculous. People are always going to have some opinion about me. People are not always going to agree with me or even like me. So why do I get so hung up on not working really hard and falling really hard in order to get really good at something I love, for the sake of looking stupid in front of someone that probably doesn't even think that in the first place. They are probably just having a lot of gas that day and that's why their face looks weird and to ME it looks as if  they are in disapproval of what I'm doing! Ahhh that was a lot to get off my chest. I don't even know if this blog is making ANY sense AT all. So if you're reading this and a million of question marks are filling your brain, I do apologize but I'm feeling really good and vent-Y right now. And that's not even a word, so there!

I guess all in all, I want to work on not trying to "impress" the gassy man next to me and just live my life and work hard at the things I love to do. In the end, it's hard work that gets the results we are all looking for. You reap what you sow, don't cha know? I want to make a pledge to work on my talents in a way that is pleasing to myself. I also want to work on not being scared of falling, because when we fall it means we're going all out at something we really love. Believe it or not, I came to this conclusion by watching my toddler. She doesn't care what people are thinking of her. To her, the world is only a poke away and she is curious about everything. She doesn't stop when she can't get the cap off the stinkin' toothpaste. She continues on; even if it means sliping from the chair she dragged all the way from the kitchen to get a better view of our sink. After she falls off, she climbs back on the chair and by God she finishes unscrewing that cap! What resilience. Did she ever turn to look at my weird face? NOPE!

 Don't be scared to get back on that horse and gallop right into your dreams.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libier

Is The Perfect Man Out There?!

Yes ladies... and gents, the perfect man is out there, but he is taken! I am married to him and thank goodness for that! haha JUST KIDDING (honey NO offence)!

I watched the movie The Vow last night, coupled with watching The Bachelor this season (I know! Don't judge me, I already do)! And the romance of it all got me thinking about the skewed perception of our culture about marriage, love and what a relationship "should" be like, or for that matter, what a man should be like.

I am married to the most perfect man for ME so that I can grow as a person. He, in no way, shape or form is "THE PERFECT MAN". "THE PRINCE CHARMING". "THE ONE AND ONLY WHO CAN FULFILL ALL MY NEEDS AND FANTASIES". Okay you get the point. I will say though, I am very, very much in love with my husband and I find him irresistible (most times) and I am so happy that I get to share all of my adventures with him. However, he is the man that God put in my 'ever-after' so that I would become a better person. NOT so that I would be happily ever after. My husband is the person who is going to rub me in all the wrong ways and bring out all the nasty little annoying habits of mine. He is also going to bring out the most beautiful things about me as well. Doug is the person that helps God shape me into the person I need to be!

Love isn't some fairy tale, or some romantic movie. Love is a choice that we have to make every day to keep that fire alive and to allow our partner in crime to help us be better NOT just happy. It is not realistic to be happy all the time.  It is so much responsibility for "the other half" to have to make us happy ALL of the time. Or fulfill us in ways that are really outside their realm. As much as I am saying my hubby isn't perfect, neither am I. I will repeat that statement, NEITHER am I! I bring out the best in my husband and I can certainly bring out the worst in him as well. A choice of love has to be made daily, in order to help each other out in life, because times will get rough. The vaavaavoom will exit the stage so to speak. The butterflies will go home and you are left with a choice to continue on with a relationship that is going to feel like it has fizzled out-but that is only the beginning of a much more fulfilling and intimate relationship with your mate!

No man is the perfect man. No woman is the perfect woman. If you have this notion, you're going to be left disappointed time and time again, jumping from relationship to relationship trying to find your prince charming... OR woman charming (this is the best I could come up with at this time! I know! lame...)

Find someone you share the most non-negotiable core values with and give it a go. Find the beauty in not placing so much responsibility onto a human being. Find the beauty in the vow of marriage. Find the beauty in the faults of your loved one. Cut them some slack. AND turn inward and see where YOU can become better. Strive to change yourself into a better person so that they will never regret choosing you  for their adventures in life.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libier

How To Deal With A Broken Heart.

My heart was broken last weekend. I'm not at all ready to say why or to write about it. But I am ready to say that if I didn't have God in my life a broken heart could of broke so many other things. I find that the closer I get to God the more amazing the spiritual battles get. The "devil" is ready and charging at me with his best "stuff". But you know what, if God is for me, who can be against me? No one, that's right! I have to learn to allow myself to hurt when crappy circumstances come into my life. I try to be so strong and so positive that I forget sometimes that being vulnerable and broken is where I need to be at that point in my life. So right now I'm broken and vulnerable, however I'm still joyful and trusting that God is mending me better than I was before. Trusting God and believing He has his hand in all of our lives is not easy. And it doesn't mean that you can't feel sad or frustrated. It's just a feeling of peace within the storm that you are being loved and taken care of, and trusting with all your might that a wonderful blessing WILL come from all of your yucky circumstances!

I hope you all are having a beautiful day!

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libby Lu

What's Love Got To Do With It?

One of my first experiences with love, aside from family love, was my first boyfriend Zachary. He and I had this captivating love that started as explosively as a firework and ended just as fast. We had been in our relationship for a week and had already said the “I love you”s. Sadly, he had to move to Oregon because his parents were making him, (of course it wasn’t his idea, he was too in love with me to move) and so our love ended. It was the summer of fourth grade and I just knew my life would never be the same. We couldn’t keep up a long distance relationship, so we said our goodbyes. He left me with a love letter and a rock shaped as a heart- awesome! I cried my little heart out. I really didn’t know if my life would go on. I just recently read some of my journal entries from this very tumultuous time in my life and I couldn’t help but laugh, but in my ten year old me’s defense, what I felt for Zachary was the kind of love that cultivates in a week and you literally have no idea if your heart will ever be able to love again. Obviously, my heart loved again… again and again.

With every relationship I learned something about myself. Sometimes it would be something wonderful and others it would be just terrible. Baggage I wouldn’t want anyone else to know about me.  So I moved on, hoping that the next relationship would not expose the nastiness inside of me. But that’s the funny part about relationships. Someone will always make the little “monsters” in us come out to play when we least expect it. My experience of love without God in my life was conditional and self-seeking. It wasn’t until I got married that I realized that I was meant to love differently. No matter how many times my heart got broken, I was made to love time after time because love is a choice! The fireworks that I felt with Zachary when I was ten were the same fireworks I felt with any new boyfriend and especially my husband. However, the fireworks fizzled and that feeling of butterflies in my stomach was always something of the past. There had to be something else driving that love so it could sustain itself. The choice had to be to remain interested and wanting to make my husband feel respected and loved.  Not wondering what he has or hasn’t done for me lately (For the record I just want to say that what I just described is my ultimate wife persona. She is with me from time to time but other personas enjoy playing as well. Such as the nagging persona, the hormonal persona, the “You-don’t-care-about-my-new-haircut-so-that-means-you-don’t-love-me”persona, so on and so forth. I am not at all a perfect wife. I wish I could be, but this “choice” is ultimately the best version of me). Being married has sure taught me a few things about love.

June 2007- church bells are ringing!  We came home from our honeymoon and normalcy settled in. I felt a sense of uneasiness. I had no idea what I had signed up for. I thought that love and marriage were these perfect little butterflies that would flutter around the house everyday and we would always be smiling and he would always be my knight in shining what-cha-ma-call-it. We courted for only 5 months, got engaged, and in 5 more months we were locked in. So, you can see we didn’t know ALL the icky-ickies about each other yet, yet being the KEY word here. As our first year of marriage pressed on like a supercharged train, we went along for the ride. Finding many joys in the marriage as well as many dark moments in which we needed a higher power to help us! At one point in our marriage, I was having problems with an issue I’ve been battling with for a long time and I remember being so shattered inside that at that moment I thought I was unlovable by anyone. I was scared for my husband to see my brokenness. I thought that if he saw me this weak and sad he wasn’t going to want to be around me anymore. Skeletons of my past kept me captive and unable to move forward with my life. Horrible circumstances not fair for a young girl to have gone through haunted my thoughts. I was working out with God what had to be cut loose in order for the healing process to begin. I wanted to forgive. I wanted to rid myself of all the pain I felt inside. I got closer to God because my life depended on it. It wasn’t easy letting go and letting God’s love cover me like a blanket of hope. It wasn’t easy forgiving. When I made the choice to lift up my problems to the only One who can heal all, my salvation began. It was still very difficult for me. I can vividly remember one night crying in the shower. My husband heard my sorrow, got in and just held me. We didn’t speak one single word for a long time, he just held on to me until I cried out my very last tear. At the beginning, my tears were for how broken I felt inside and then they became tears of joy-joy for the love God had just displayed for me through my husband. That day my husband proved to me that he loves me beyond my looks, he loves me beyond the moments when I’m funny and kind and deserving of love. He loves me whole-heartedly.

Let’s jump ahead three years. It’s a hot August midnight; many contractions have been had. Too many if you ask me. I have been in labor for over thirteen hours and still no sign of this baby! Where is she!?  I was hungry, tired, and plain bored. I thought this show was going to be on the road much faster than it all went down. I was mad at my husband because he had just gotten to eat the most amazing smelling tri-tip barbecue sandwich, and the sweet smell of the barbecue sauce impregnated the room. Did I wish he would have fasted with me through this terrible two day ordeal? YES. Did he? NO. Anyway, I’m not bitter at him anymore, but not any-less either...  After being in pain, exhausted, feeling cheated with food, and bored to death, three o’clock came around. Guess who was ready to make her appearance? Who would have guessed that an hour of pushing a watermelon out of your what-do-you-know would feel like an eternity!  At 4:17AM, my little 8 pound, 21 inch slimy nugget got put on my chest. In that brief moment my heart grew about fifty times over. After having what seemed like hundreds of people in our room we were all of the sudden alone with our baby girl. It felt so bizarre, Mark 10:8 was apparent, “And the two shall become one”, and that we did! Whoa, I was in utter bliss and disbelief. I never, ever, in a bazillion years could have ever been prepared for the love I felt for my daughter.  Even now after a year of being a mommy I have a hard time containing all the love I have for her in my heart. I know that the way I love her is just a little preview of what God’s love is for me!  Dang!

I’ve been feeling love from my family ever since my mother’s first sign of morning sickness.  This incredible love fest has continued throughout my life. I have been so blessed to feel so much love from so many people! However, I will say that the one love that has made me fully understand what it really means to love is God’s love for ME. It is really easy for me to love people, when they are behaving in a way that I perceive as deserving of my love. It’s so easy for me to act loving to my husband when he brings me flowers and he rubs my feet. It’s amazing telling my little baby girl I love her when she smiles at me and hugs me. It is not so easy when they are being rude and mean, but that is what it means to really love, when it’s not conditional upon people’s behavior. God loves me even in the moments when I feel unlovable. He loves me in the moments when I least deserve it. He loves me in the moments when I feel completely broken and shattered. That kind of love is what I am striving for. I have felt love, I have experienced love, but I never fully understood it until I understood how profoundly God loves me.

My New Year's Resolutions

     
   Hello 2012! Hello friends! I hope you had a great New Year's eve and a great start to the new year.

I wanted to write down my new year's resolutions and I wasn't going to make a blog about it, but the more and more I thought about it, I realized that by telling you guys, my friends, it would give me more of a sense of accountability. I know some people aren't really into the whole new years resolutions thing and that's okay. Why, they ask themselves,  would you need a new year to make your life better? I agree with that point of view because we don't need a new year to be conscious of our lives and the fact that we can start being a healthier, more peaceful and grounded at any date in the year. However,  I also believe in the power of  "starting over" -"clean slate"- a specific time in which you can sit down and think about your life and make some goals. And that is exactly what I'm doing right now. I hope this encourages you to do the same. It is so important in this life to evaluate our lives and ask questions about what we are doing, how we're doing it and what is important to us.

1.- I am going to make time in my day to stand  in awe of God. I want to set time aside to just sit in wonder and LISTEN to what God has to say to me. I am going to delve deeper in my study of the Bible and try to understand what God has planned for me this year. I am going to treat every bad situation that 2012 might bring as an opportunity to grow deeper in my faith and be a great example of a good Christian.

2.- I am going to make time to spend with my husband. I am going to make sure that I'm showing him the unconditional  respect he needs with out expecting anything back. I am going to find ways to express how much he means to me. I will find activities that draw us closer together. I am going to make him understand why I'm so proud to be married to him and make him know that he is a great man that I am so blessed to have a life with him. I am going to pray with him and for him. I will stay saucy for him!

3.- I am going to pray about mine and my husbands parenting skills, asking God to help us through the rough terrain up ahead with our daughters "terrible twos"! I am going to enjoy being a mommy first and foremost, and not let the "little" things bother me as much. I am going to allow my little pumpkin to be a kid and play and love on her every day I get a chance to. I will pray that I can be a good example for her to follow.

4.-  I am going to pray for my love of others. I am going to pray that I can love and see people the way God  sees, and loves them. I am going to pray for anyone that makes me upset, mad, crazy, angry, and any bad feelings that I've missed mentioning. I am going to cultivate my relationships with my family and my friends.

5.- I will find ways I can help others in need. I will pray that God opens doors where I can suffice a need.

6.- I will honor God with my body with exercise and eating healthy foods that support my training. I will pray for God to fulfill any "void" that I feel, instead of filling it with either food, shopping or being super "busy", I will ask God to help me and fill me with his joy.

These are my resolutions for 2012. I hope that you can pray for me as I'm praying for all of your guys' years to be full of peace and joy.

Live with no regrets this year. We can do that by being aware that life on earth is fragile and can end at any moment. You or I can die right this very second. Our life can end today!When I sat and though about  my mortality and TRULY understood it (about a week ago) I decided to not take another day for granted.
 Live each day with purpose and think of what's important to you. Don't throw today away!

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

I Went Clubbing Last Night

One of the things that makes me most excited in this life is dancing. I constantly have dance parties with my toddler. I am NOT going to lie, we get down! We get down so much that she likes to go on the coffee table and dance on top so she can keep sort of eye level with me. We have dance parties almost every day. The other day we danced for thirty minutes! Wowza! I would never think a toddler would want to dance for a whole thirty minutes (now when I say dance, I do mean bouncing up and down with her little legs and just moving her rump, soooometimes she'll throw in a spin or a shoulder move. I know, very fancy)! I do these dance parties because I LOVE to dance. I don't remember the last time I was at a club... wait maybe I do, it was circa 2009, November to be exact. Just a few days before finding out I was growing a tinny little alien looking gummy bear in my belly. Of course once you have a baby you don't think, "Oh today, I think I am going clubbing". Hahaha, that thought never crossed my mind! But deep down inside the passion for dance is there, thus the amazing dance parties with my baby girl.

Last night I went clubbing. Not only does that feel silly to say because I'm almost thirty, but it's even sillier that I went to an over 18 gay club. And not just ANY club. I went to a club that I myself attended, almost every weekend, circa 2004 with some of my favorite friends. The ONLY reason I went yesterday, was to celebrate my nieces birthday. Her and her friends wanted to go out dancing but they are not 21 yet, thus going to this particular place. I was honored that she thought her old lady aunt would be hip enough to go out dancing with all of her friends, so I could not deny the invitation. As I walked into the club, I was filled with thousands of memories of the " ARC company dance days". As I danced my little tush off, I couldn't help but feel so proud of my friends that I once had the honor of sharing the dance floor with. I'm a completely different person now than who I was way back when and to know that those friends have loved me ever since then, gave me chills and warmed my heart.

Same place, different perspective in life. How cool is that. As I dance with these teens/early twenty something people, all I could think of was, I really hope they get to have wonderful memories and wonderful friendships as I have.

In life, we can't ever chose our family (we need to honor them because they are a gift from God in-spite of how irritating they might seem at times). However, we can choose our friends. Our friends are going to love us, encourage us, tell us we're smoking crack when we do something stupid. Our friends help us find ourselves in this big,big world. God places the friends He thinks are going to help us grow and become a better person in life. These are friendships that can last a lifetime if you work hard at it. Even friendships take  work. But worth every effort.

I say today you take the time to tell your friends how much you freakin' love them. Even when they make you mad, your fiends are always going to know who you are, where you've been and what box you've danced on at the CLUB.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!!!

A Stolen Kiss Never Beats A Willing One

The love that I feel when my daughter gives me a voluntary kiss is something that I would never be able to describe with words! Trust me when I say that I steal kisses from her far more times than she would like, but I can't help it! I have a selfish need, that as a mother, gets fulfilled by receiving love from my little dumpling. I know that the kiss I steal is NOTHING compared to the kiss she gives ME willing. BUT my human nature makes me yearn for that gratification from her, so I resort to using my strength and "authority" by taking a smooch whenever I please.

God NEVER forces his "kisses" upon us. He is always so respectful of us. He waits and he waits until that day when WE want to "kiss" on him and tell him we love him so much. Yes he loves us unconditionally for all of time but he never feels that selfish need I do with Maddy, enough to force his love onto me like I do I her.

Wow, is that admirable or what. He has ALL the power in the world yet he has enough respect for us as human individuals that he just waits. I am so sure than when he hears me telling him I love him so much, he has somewhat of the same feeling I do when Maddy WANTS to show me love. Indescribable.

I hope you are having a wonderful and beautiful day ya'll!

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

Stand In Awe!

Today I wanted to just sit outside and look up to the sky and just be. Just sit there and feel how amazing this life is when I allow for silence and peace. I wanted to turn off the i-phone and just concentrate on one thing. But of course, my want was pushed off by "life"-a makeup session I was running late to, a crying baby wanting food and mommy, and the fact that I had to throw the 'diaper genie smelly cargo' away in the big trash can. I put my baby girl in a safe place and ran outside to throw out the trash and in that moment my body just froze, even though I was in a big fat hurry and my mind wanted to just throw out the trash and jet out, I couldn't! I looked up to the heavens and the beautiful picture that God was painting for me in the midst of the amazingly smelling trash bins crossed with that fresh morning air, yumm-O!

 I stood there for what seemed like an hour, (in reality it was only probably about 3 whole minutes). Alas, in that time I felt the warmth of the sun beaming on my face- I smelled the crisp air of the morning- I heard the beautiful sound of the birds singing me a song written specially for me- I looked at one of the most beautiful pictures I have seen in a long time. Fall colors displayed in all their glorious-ness. Yellow, vibrant orange and brown leaves on an amazing tree in my neighbors yard, paired with the blue sky and the clouds. I took thousands of snapshots of this picture in my mind so I would never forget it. I let the world pass me by for three whole minutes and I thought nothing, I said nothing, I did nothing. I have been wanting to enjoy more of what God has created for me and wanted to try to slow my roll a bit so as to enjoy being in silence. I want it but it's very difficult to happen when I get all wrapped up in the "things" that I need to do. I was grateful for that force pulling me to stay and just be in awe. I am looking forward to being able to set aside time to be able to just sit in awe more often.

What I took from this mini-three minute vacation, was that I CAN have that and I'm sure I'd probably be more at peace on a daily basis if I were to allow myself these moments.

Today look around for the beauty of the world. You can find it in the midst of a smelly trash bin, trust me, I know!

Stay blessed and stay saucy ya'll!!!

Save Your Relationship

     


I've been happily married for over three years now and my marriage is an amazing roller-coaster. Sometimes we are completely head-over-heals for each other and sometimes.... sometimes let's just say, it takes every ounce of my being not to Karate chop him in the throat! So many times I've wondered why oh why is my husband not giving me the love that I deserve!? And then we bought a book called Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs and I was able to understand 100% what was standing in the way of the love that I was yearning for. I'm not trying to have this act as cliff-notes for the book, I completely know I wouldn't do it justice, BUT I will give you the lib-notes. What I got out of the book per-say. Are you ready?

• Men and women are different (No duh)
• Men hear in blue and women in pink (thus we can say one thing and have two meanings behind it)
• Women love to love and love LOVE love to GET love. Men not so much concerned about the love thing-Here's where it get's INTERESTING... (MEN NEED AND WANT YOUR RESPECT!) SHAZAMMMMM! 
• There is a crazy cycle- If the woman doesn't get love then it's hard for her to give her hubby respect, and if the husband doesn't feel respected, it's difficult for him to display love.
• Don't fret, there is also something called the "Energizing Cycle"- With love she treats him with respect and with respect he treats HER with love. How'bout that!?

   I've been missing this concept my entire life, and now that I see it as plain as day it makes total sense! And trust me when I tell you that it has already saved Doug and I from some, pull your hair, I'm going to go get my nunchucks I'll be right back kind of fights! The catch though IS that someone always has to be the better person EVEN when they aren't getting what they "deserve". So for example one day we were having a heated discussion (well we were fighting, I just like the sounds of the other better). And I was able to not care about the fact that he was being unloving and asked him a very important question. "Honey what did I do that made you feel disrespected?"  Ohhhh my gosh! Boy oh boy do I wish I could do that every time. He told me why he felt like I was being rude to him and it all boiled down to miscommunication. And the argument was over faster than I could say ninja. But had I not had the courtesy to put my feelings aside for a minute to ask him the question, I would have been all mad and angry. Things would of just gotten out of control and before we know it we would have been fighting about something completely different five hours later.  

Since then there have been times when he's had to be the better person, and it makes me feel so loved when he gets interested in what I'm feeling. When he gives me unconditional love, it really MAKES me want to be respectful and loving to him. Try this little method out. And by respect I do NOT mean, be a doormat and never raise any questions or bring anything up for the sake of not arguing. I mean be respectful in the way you treat your man and enjoy all the beautiful LOVE that you'll get from him! 

Women, trust me. If you have a husband or boyfriend who isn't treating you with the love that you deserve, give him that unconditional respect he needs. Be enamored by him and praise him for the man that he is. Remind him that you are not sickened by the person he's become.  Make him feel like you feel PROUD to be his woman and you'll be dumbfounded by how he will in-turn treat YOU. 

Men, trust me. If you have a wife or girlfriend who doesn't treat you with the honor and respect that you crave, give her unconditional love. Don't think that everything she says is to piss you off, or to make you miserable. She is just saying "I'm not feeling loved right now, please love me!"  If you seek to understand HER and in everything make it known that you love who she is, she WILL respect who you are! 

I know it's very difficult to be in a relationship sometimes. BUT it can be done.  To the point that you end up having an intimate relationship that no earthly thing can break.  

Stay blessed and stay saucy everyone!! 

Forgiveness

     

  My birthday is in thirty something days, woohooo!!  Every time one of those rolls around I am forced to think about my life and make sure it's on the right track. As I was thinking of everything that I've done in the past ALMOST 28 years of my life, I couldn't help but remember my childhood. There's a specific point in those wee years that always makes me super-dee-duperly confused because on one hand I get sad about it and on the other it makes me proud of my family and myself. But more importantly, it makes me realize the importance of attitude,love and family. So here it is, I'm going to tell you something that most people don't know about me. When I lived in Mexico and was the very mature age of 6, I had to get a job bagging groceries at the local supermarket so my mom and I could make ends meet. There I said it, I had a job when I was 6! See weird, I'm super proud to say that I was a total working machine at that young age. However, in the same token if I think about it for what it REALLY was and put my daughter in place of me... waterworks!!! I get so sad to think that my mom had to tell me, "Mija, it's time to get a job. You can't watch the smurfs when you get home from school anymore. It's time to grow up." (Granted this is not at all what she said, she didn't even speak English then but that's what I'm making up for the sake of the story. Okay? Okay!)

     Whenever I think back about this time in my life, I seriously don't ever remember any sadness from being poor or bleakness from HAVING to have a job at 6 years of age. In place of any negative feeling, there is a sense of pride and joy that I was able to do all those things and triumph in the end. I would NEVER be the person I am today if it had not been for all of the crummy circumstances in my life. I probably would not be as understanding and resilient as I find myself now. So I am thankful for all of those opportunities that made me a stronger person. And the more and more I think about why it was almost "fun" for me to have a job so young, I realize that it was my mothers AMAZING attitude that helped me not be sad as a child. She has an amazing quality about her that makes her a fighter no matter what life throws her way. At that time she probably had such a  heavy-heart to have to make her little girl go to work. She didn't let on to me that we were in dire need. For me it was as though we had been rich all along. It wasn't until I did have that I understood how much we didn't for a long time.

       My mother had a huge impact on me as a young girl, and then in my teenage years she made some poor choices in her life that have affected me in a lot of ways. For a very long time, I felt so resentful towards her for making me feel like she did. And then God told me to knock it off. When I grasped that my mother is JUST a human being that is trying to make it here on earth as much as the next gal, I knew I could not continue to put her on a pedestal that made her unable to make any mistakes. I had a hard time not seeing my mother as perfect because my whole childhood was happy because of her. She protected me from so much ,gave up and sacrificed even more than I can imagine for my well being. She made it so even in the shittiest of circumstances, I was able to live a loving and some what "normal" childhood (pardon the French, I couldn't find a better word!) She helped me believe in myself. She taught me the power of working hard and being a good, kind person. She taught me that you have to be likable  and funny and to not rely on looks to get you places.  She helped me realize that I really WASN'T the center of the universe like I once had believed, go figure! So you can imagine how difficult it was for me to understand that she's only a human being that has the right to her own mistakes in life ( I saw her more like a cross between Phoenix and Storm, the perfect Super-heroine!)

 There is so much of my mother in me that I am extremely proud to say came from her. Her attitude and love made my childhood one that I remember being filled with joy and happiness. It didn't matter that I had to work at such a young age, because I had my mom to come home to and she was the best mom she could have been to me. In spite of the "bad" choices she's made in her life, God has commanded me to honor my father and mother, He doesn't say, "honor them ONLY if they don't do anything wrong...."  So this is me forgiving my mother of anything she ever did that hurt me in any way. I understand that you are not a super-heroine after all mommy, and that's perfectly okay because you are my MOTHER, and in so many ways that is way cooler!

 Are you holding on to something you should let go of today? Is there someone in your life you're building up to be a superhero rather than a real person that has the right to their own mistakes?  I encourage you to think and pray about it and let it go. Let God be the judge not you. There is an indescribable peace that comes along when we let go and just love people regardless of what they do. I hope you all are having beautiful days! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy! 

Thank you mamacita hermosa.