The Power of Prayer

Have you ever wondered if your prayers are being answered? Well you are definitely not the only one my amigo! I have struggled so many times wondering what God was telling me in response to many of my prayers. There have been many times I've actually thought that my prayer was being answered, however it was only ME trying to shove a square peg in a round hole. I've tried to make God follow my lead and that is really narcissistic of me since I really have no clue what piece of the puzzle I really am to God's amazing creation. My life, (although most times I think I'm the most important thing in the world) is really not what this "Broadway Show" is about. God is the Producer of this show called "Life" and I am maybe an over achieving splinter of wood on the stage so to speak. I have to remind myself that it is really not ALL about me and that sometimes the prayers I come to God with, might not be in the  BEST interest of our show. I have to rely on the fact that God does promise to have plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11  

See, God does not work like a genie in a bottle. It's not like I say, "Man, I wish I had three unicorns and a Popsicle wrapped in bacon" and poof all my wishes came true! Sometimes I wish it were like that, but what fun would it be if we were able to have everything we ever wanted in life? Maaaybe a little  fun- but after a while it would get old and we would be wishing for a more "boring" life. See, only He knows what we really need. Only He knows our perfect plan. Even we, when we sit down and really think about it, know what we truly need. God might not give us what we want at the time but He ALWAYS gives us what we need. If I ever have doubts as to God's answer to any of my prayers, I can sit down a couple of weeks later after I've prayed and prayed and I can totally see what God has done in my life. Maybe He didn't answer the way I would have (from time to time I DO suggest many solutions to my problems to Him, I really don't know why He hasn't listened, I come with many great ideas)! But looking back I sit in awe of how gracious He is to me. And when I have a different perspective I SEE why it couldn't of turned out the way I so desperately wanted it to! Our timing is not God's timing. Our solution is often not His. Ultimately if I trust God as much as I can muster, I am always overwhelmed at the amazing ways He answers my prayers.

 Sometimes  God blesses me with what I pray for. Sometimes He tells me, not now but look at what else I've got for you. Sometimes God changes my heart to not want or "need" what is in my prayers.  The more you are in communication with God, (because that's what prayer is friends, just a friendly dialogue with Him) the more attuned we get to God's answers.  Prayer is the most powerful thing you'll ever be able to do in life. You'll find a way to understand so many things about your life and it will transform you heart, I can promise you that! It has happened to me. I've never been more at peace with who I am than when I started sharing my day with God and being in constant communication. Bringing all my problems and concerns to Him. It's like having a top notch- super good -therapist on call 24/7... FOR FREE!

Make a point to praise God and thank him for what He is doing in your life.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libier

I love To Spray Paint!

Okay so my new fun thing to do on a low budget is- out with the old, in with the spray painted old thing that now looks NEW and amaze-sauce because I spray painted it! Here are a couple of things that I've spray painted and might I say look quite amazing!

So this is just a janky old IKEA table that I put outside because it was janky. I just spray painted it with CHALK spray paint (I got mine at Home Depot for around $5!). Now it is going to be so much fun to play with the chalk and it's gonna look crazy cool on my porch! Those cool letters are all thanks to my amazing friend Elise! My hand writing is very ugly so I asked her to write cool things for me! 

I also used the chalk spray paint on my glass coffee container I got at IKEA. I used duck tape to make a square and then made sure that the whole glass was covered by a plastic bag and sprayed 3 light layers. And then I had my amazing friend write coffee on it for me! How cute is this!???

Here are other things that I've spray painted in the past couple of days! Watch my video! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy! 

-Libby Lu

What's Love Got To Do With It?

One of my first experiences with love, aside from family love, was my first boyfriend Zachary. He and I had this captivating love that started as explosively as a firework and ended just as fast. We had been in our relationship for a week and had already said the “I love you”s. Sadly, he had to move to Oregon because his parents were making him, (of course it wasn’t his idea, he was too in love with me to move) and so our love ended. It was the summer of fourth grade and I just knew my life would never be the same. We couldn’t keep up a long distance relationship, so we said our goodbyes. He left me with a love letter and a rock shaped as a heart- awesome! I cried my little heart out. I really didn’t know if my life would go on. I just recently read some of my journal entries from this very tumultuous time in my life and I couldn’t help but laugh, but in my ten year old me’s defense, what I felt for Zachary was the kind of love that cultivates in a week and you literally have no idea if your heart will ever be able to love again. Obviously, my heart loved again… again and again.

With every relationship I learned something about myself. Sometimes it would be something wonderful and others it would be just terrible. Baggage I wouldn’t want anyone else to know about me.  So I moved on, hoping that the next relationship would not expose the nastiness inside of me. But that’s the funny part about relationships. Someone will always make the little “monsters” in us come out to play when we least expect it. My experience of love without God in my life was conditional and self-seeking. It wasn’t until I got married that I realized that I was meant to love differently. No matter how many times my heart got broken, I was made to love time after time because love is a choice! The fireworks that I felt with Zachary when I was ten were the same fireworks I felt with any new boyfriend and especially my husband. However, the fireworks fizzled and that feeling of butterflies in my stomach was always something of the past. There had to be something else driving that love so it could sustain itself. The choice had to be to remain interested and wanting to make my husband feel respected and loved.  Not wondering what he has or hasn’t done for me lately (For the record I just want to say that what I just described is my ultimate wife persona. She is with me from time to time but other personas enjoy playing as well. Such as the nagging persona, the hormonal persona, the “You-don’t-care-about-my-new-haircut-so-that-means-you-don’t-love-me”persona, so on and so forth. I am not at all a perfect wife. I wish I could be, but this “choice” is ultimately the best version of me). Being married has sure taught me a few things about love.

June 2007- church bells are ringing!  We came home from our honeymoon and normalcy settled in. I felt a sense of uneasiness. I had no idea what I had signed up for. I thought that love and marriage were these perfect little butterflies that would flutter around the house everyday and we would always be smiling and he would always be my knight in shining what-cha-ma-call-it. We courted for only 5 months, got engaged, and in 5 more months we were locked in. So, you can see we didn’t know ALL the icky-ickies about each other yet, yet being the KEY word here. As our first year of marriage pressed on like a supercharged train, we went along for the ride. Finding many joys in the marriage as well as many dark moments in which we needed a higher power to help us! At one point in our marriage, I was having problems with an issue I’ve been battling with for a long time and I remember being so shattered inside that at that moment I thought I was unlovable by anyone. I was scared for my husband to see my brokenness. I thought that if he saw me this weak and sad he wasn’t going to want to be around me anymore. Skeletons of my past kept me captive and unable to move forward with my life. Horrible circumstances not fair for a young girl to have gone through haunted my thoughts. I was working out with God what had to be cut loose in order for the healing process to begin. I wanted to forgive. I wanted to rid myself of all the pain I felt inside. I got closer to God because my life depended on it. It wasn’t easy letting go and letting God’s love cover me like a blanket of hope. It wasn’t easy forgiving. When I made the choice to lift up my problems to the only One who can heal all, my salvation began. It was still very difficult for me. I can vividly remember one night crying in the shower. My husband heard my sorrow, got in and just held me. We didn’t speak one single word for a long time, he just held on to me until I cried out my very last tear. At the beginning, my tears were for how broken I felt inside and then they became tears of joy-joy for the love God had just displayed for me through my husband. That day my husband proved to me that he loves me beyond my looks, he loves me beyond the moments when I’m funny and kind and deserving of love. He loves me whole-heartedly.

Let’s jump ahead three years. It’s a hot August midnight; many contractions have been had. Too many if you ask me. I have been in labor for over thirteen hours and still no sign of this baby! Where is she!?  I was hungry, tired, and plain bored. I thought this show was going to be on the road much faster than it all went down. I was mad at my husband because he had just gotten to eat the most amazing smelling tri-tip barbecue sandwich, and the sweet smell of the barbecue sauce impregnated the room. Did I wish he would have fasted with me through this terrible two day ordeal? YES. Did he? NO. Anyway, I’m not bitter at him anymore, but not any-less either...  After being in pain, exhausted, feeling cheated with food, and bored to death, three o’clock came around. Guess who was ready to make her appearance? Who would have guessed that an hour of pushing a watermelon out of your what-do-you-know would feel like an eternity!  At 4:17AM, my little 8 pound, 21 inch slimy nugget got put on my chest. In that brief moment my heart grew about fifty times over. After having what seemed like hundreds of people in our room we were all of the sudden alone with our baby girl. It felt so bizarre, Mark 10:8 was apparent, “And the two shall become one”, and that we did! Whoa, I was in utter bliss and disbelief. I never, ever, in a bazillion years could have ever been prepared for the love I felt for my daughter.  Even now after a year of being a mommy I have a hard time containing all the love I have for her in my heart. I know that the way I love her is just a little preview of what God’s love is for me!  Dang!

I’ve been feeling love from my family ever since my mother’s first sign of morning sickness.  This incredible love fest has continued throughout my life. I have been so blessed to feel so much love from so many people! However, I will say that the one love that has made me fully understand what it really means to love is God’s love for ME. It is really easy for me to love people, when they are behaving in a way that I perceive as deserving of my love. It’s so easy for me to act loving to my husband when he brings me flowers and he rubs my feet. It’s amazing telling my little baby girl I love her when she smiles at me and hugs me. It is not so easy when they are being rude and mean, but that is what it means to really love, when it’s not conditional upon people’s behavior. God loves me even in the moments when I feel unlovable. He loves me in the moments when I least deserve it. He loves me in the moments when I feel completely broken and shattered. That kind of love is what I am striving for. I have felt love, I have experienced love, but I never fully understood it until I understood how profoundly God loves me.

My Flossy Adventures!

I had a delicious lunch out the other day and as I was driving home, I frantically looked in my hidden stash for a floss pick. I'm a big time flosser. One of the reasons why is that I've had 13 cavities at the same time before (not because I'm a disgusting slob who doesn't brush her grill, I think it's mostly genes and a pregnancy that did me in) so I'm really EXTRA cautious about my dental hygiene. And the other reason is that the dentist left a big gap between some of my molars and now every time I eat anything I have food treasures that want to stay in between my teeth without paying rent. I know, I'm gross, so what! Therefore I HAVE to floss after every meal. There don't you feel a lot closer to me know? haha

 Anyway, I could NOT find one of my little flossy friends. It took me about half an hour to get home and for the whole thirty minutes I was doing everything in my power to get that food out of in between my pearly whites! I tried shoving my tongue in between my teeth to get it out, that didn't work. By the by, why do I think that's even going to work when I KNOW my tongue is way bigger than the gap in my teeth?  I tried flushing my food friend out by aggressively swishing water in my mouth. THAT didn't work. So for some reason I thought to go back to plan A (the tongue thing) time and time again and guess what that still didn't work. I was obsessed with getting this sucker OUT!

After many failed attempts I realized that the right "tool" I needed was waiting for me at home and I KNEW that if I could just not freak out for a second and got home everything would be okay. I kept thinking if I just had floss it would be so much easier. It would go into the gap of my teeth and do the job it was designed to do, and I could live free of crap in my teeth until the next meal! If I just waited to get home and get to my floss, I could have had less stress, my life in those thirty minutes could have been a lot more peaceful. However, I resorted to using my own way to solve my problem and I got all bent out of shape!

I think many times in life I do the same thing with bigger problems. I know that God is the right tool that could go in and do the job faster more efficiently than any other "solution" I could possibly ever think of. I know this to be true and I STILL don't let God do His thing in my life sometimes. I don't give him the control because I think that by me doing something I am being more proactive. When on the contrary I'm just sitting in traffic for thirty minutes panicing about the food in between my teeth. Looking like an idiot to the casual passerby because I'm vigorously tring to swish water in my mouth whilest also trying to jam my HUGE tounge in a little crevice... if you know what I mean! I run in circles trying to fix my problems myself when I should trust God to be the right tool for the job of fixing me. Only He can. And the times I've let Him, I've felt a certain peace that I have come to crave.

I hope that you decide to use the right tool in your life.

Stay blessed and stay saucy ya'll!

-Libby Lu

My Night At The Hospital

My madre was in the emergency room last night. I've come to realize that being in and out of hospitals is just in my fortune. She's doing much better now but I would really appreciate prayers for her. Thank you!

One of the things about hospitals that Ive come to love, is the comradery that ensues when one is there. I'm ashamed to say so, but I would not be the type of person that would go around hugging strangers. Let me explain...

Let's pretend this senario happened in the day time and at Starbucks:
I'm sitting at a table talking with my mom and dad. A girl wearing really baggy sweats, and a do rag walks inside. She is crying pretty deeply and just walked from outside having made a phone call. My usual reaction would be to steal a few glances. Wonder in my head what's wrong with her. Possibly say to my parents "oh pobrecita" (meaning poor girl), maybe just maybe eves drop a little to try to gather more information- and then I would move on with my day.

That exact thing happened! Only it wasn't day time and it wasn't Starbucks. It was the emergency room of the hospital. There I sat talking with my parents trying to make conversation for the fourth hour in a row. We'd been waiting for the Dr. to see my mom and conversation was starting to get stale. I could see this girl sitting in the row right behind us, weeping.I kept glancing at her trying to be sly so that she wouldn't see the creepo staring at her while she was crying. And then I heard it! The Holy Spirit telling me to go pray with her and give her a hug. My instant thought was, "are you kidding me? I don't know this girl! For all I know she hates all things Holy and will pop me right  in the kisser!" Inner thoughts can be raw like that. So I pretended I didn't hear the command from God and moved on.

I heard it again.

This time I knew I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try. I trusted God and obeyed Him. I approached the girl and I said, "Excuse me, I'm so sorry, I don't mean to pry. But can I pray for you?" She looked up at me with her eyes swelled up with tears and said, "yes, I feel so sick and they won't call my name"  I sat down next to her and prayed for her, I held her in my arms and just loved on her and prayed out loud. It was unbelievable how amazing it felt to have God pouring his love onto this gal. I literary felt HOT when I was praying for her. Man, what an amazing experience that was. She said, "Thank you so much for taking the time to do that, I really appreciate it" and her name got called from the nurses station. She gave me the biggest hug ever.

I can not take any credit for that. I can not even say that I'm a great person for doing that because my FIRST reaction was, "no, I don't want to do that because I will feel uncomfortable". God can do wonders when we are opened to the idea of obeying his commands, they are subtle and most often than not it's easy to get out of doing them. We have a million excuses as to why we can't take five minutes of our "busy" life to help someone else out. Especially when it's a complete stranger or a person we don't really like.

 The ONLY thing I did do right was listen and obey. And I am certain that anyone is capable of doing that. It's tough, but once you experience it once, you kind of get hooked! The blessings that come from being a vessel for God are ten fold. The feeling you get when you've helped God help someone ELSE is something that not a million dollars could buy.

Being in a hospital brings a sense of comradery to my soul because that's when you know something is wrong and you NEED something else to help  you. You know that the others in there might not have exactly what you do but they have their own emergency. Politics, likes and dislikes, skin color, class, and anything that would otherwise separate you from another person fades away.

I am so glad that I get to experience moments that totally break me, because God puts me back together more beautify that anything else ever could.

Stay blessed and stay saucy.

The Butternut Squash That Almost Killed Me!

The other day I was making a dish that said, "pair me with a butternut squash soup". So I said, "Okay"! It would mark the first time I made something with butternut squash myself and I had no idea what was in store! As I attempted my first cut, I struggled to get my knife in the right position, a couple seconds latter I KNEW this was going to be super difficult. I used the BIGGEST knife I had and the shell of this thing was so hard to cut through! - I feared for my life. Those suckers are difficult to dice!! Why did  no one ever tell me this!?

I did the best that I could and only managed to salvage 30% of the squash for my soup. I was left baffled and wishing there was a better way. After making my B.S. soup (sorry I don't want to keep saying Butternut squash.. Butternut squash... Butternut squash.. so we'll stick to B.S. I don't know what's worse), both my husband and I decided it was deliciosa (delicious in Spanish). It was just so darn tough to make it that it makes me not want to ever cook it ever again. However, I remember the sweet and butter-nutty taste and my mouth waters... and then I want to do it all over again. Kind of when you go through labor, you're in all this pain and then somehow you forget how difficult it was once you hold your little baby, you get mommy amnesia and you want bring another little nugget into the world    (pregnant pause).      And back to soup...

I started thinking of myself and I figured out that I am a lot like a butternut squash. How? You ask. Well let me tell you. I started out this hard shell. Walls up. Insecurities up the yin-yang. People would try to come into my "space" and I pushed away- hard! I was this self-seeking, not flexible, selfish, vain, judgmental person. Sometimes someone would be able to get in a bit; but even then it was frustrating I bet. The "fruit" that was in me still did not give any good taste. It wasn't until I finally let God IN that I was able to become sweet and soft so to speak. God in many ways was the boiling water wearing me down to be kind, humble, and joyful.

And then a new day comes and I start all over again! God tries and tries to break me apart so that he can put me in "hot" water to make me "sweet" once again. This is an every day process. I will never be fully GOOD, there are so many temptations and worldly desires that can ruin my walk with God. But He is always looking for the opportunity to help me along with my journey. I just need to let Him. I start off as the B.S. All hard and outer-shelly (I think I just made that word up). And then he dices me up and shows me what my place is in life when I walk with Him. Even if he gives me something difficult to go through in this life "my hot, boiling water", when I walk with God, I will always end up a sweet and delicious butternut squash soup.

P.S. I really hope you like butternut squash. If you don't, that sucks and you'll just have to substitute your favorite vegetable that's difficult to cook. haha

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libby Lu

Why I Write

Let me let you in on a little secret. I love writing this blog because I feel like I'm helping someone while doing it. Even if that someone is myself on days when no one reads the blogs. But I am far from always taking my own advise and I still need a lot of work in my walk with God.  I knew I had to start writing because God told me I had to. To be quite honest I never know what I'm going to write about. Let alone if I'm going to make ANY sense at all. You see, I was never a good writer in school. Shoot, you might think I'm not even a good writer now, that's besides the point. I now enjoy doing it and it makes me joyful. But anyhow. When I write all these things I truly feel like God helps me put the words together. Sometimes I will go back in time and read the things I write and think, wow, I should practice what I "preach".

I am in no way shape or form a  perfect person. I wish I could be on point all the time but I truly have many days where I am so deep in my own selfishness that I can't see past the hairspray in the room. However, the good part about writing a blog is that I keep myself accountable. I, at least have to try and do the things that I say most of the time. I guess I'm just writing this because I would never want any of you to think that I've got my whole act together and I can't take any advise or what ever. Because God knows that I am as far from perfection as Charlie Sheen is from getting back on any decent T.V. show (I'm sorry if you're a big fan). 

I hope you know that I'm in this as much as you are and if you ever need any prayer or anything please don't feel weird, contact me. I would love to pray for you. We are faced with such difficult spiritual warfare in this life and we need to join together as brothers and sisters in Christ and help one another out. If we don't who will?

Stay blessed and stay saucy! 

My New Year's Resolutions

     
   Hello 2012! Hello friends! I hope you had a great New Year's eve and a great start to the new year.

I wanted to write down my new year's resolutions and I wasn't going to make a blog about it, but the more and more I thought about it, I realized that by telling you guys, my friends, it would give me more of a sense of accountability. I know some people aren't really into the whole new years resolutions thing and that's okay. Why, they ask themselves,  would you need a new year to make your life better? I agree with that point of view because we don't need a new year to be conscious of our lives and the fact that we can start being a healthier, more peaceful and grounded at any date in the year. However,  I also believe in the power of  "starting over" -"clean slate"- a specific time in which you can sit down and think about your life and make some goals. And that is exactly what I'm doing right now. I hope this encourages you to do the same. It is so important in this life to evaluate our lives and ask questions about what we are doing, how we're doing it and what is important to us.

1.- I am going to make time in my day to stand  in awe of God. I want to set time aside to just sit in wonder and LISTEN to what God has to say to me. I am going to delve deeper in my study of the Bible and try to understand what God has planned for me this year. I am going to treat every bad situation that 2012 might bring as an opportunity to grow deeper in my faith and be a great example of a good Christian.

2.- I am going to make time to spend with my husband. I am going to make sure that I'm showing him the unconditional  respect he needs with out expecting anything back. I am going to find ways to express how much he means to me. I will find activities that draw us closer together. I am going to make him understand why I'm so proud to be married to him and make him know that he is a great man that I am so blessed to have a life with him. I am going to pray with him and for him. I will stay saucy for him!

3.- I am going to pray about mine and my husbands parenting skills, asking God to help us through the rough terrain up ahead with our daughters "terrible twos"! I am going to enjoy being a mommy first and foremost, and not let the "little" things bother me as much. I am going to allow my little pumpkin to be a kid and play and love on her every day I get a chance to. I will pray that I can be a good example for her to follow.

4.-  I am going to pray for my love of others. I am going to pray that I can love and see people the way God  sees, and loves them. I am going to pray for anyone that makes me upset, mad, crazy, angry, and any bad feelings that I've missed mentioning. I am going to cultivate my relationships with my family and my friends.

5.- I will find ways I can help others in need. I will pray that God opens doors where I can suffice a need.

6.- I will honor God with my body with exercise and eating healthy foods that support my training. I will pray for God to fulfill any "void" that I feel, instead of filling it with either food, shopping or being super "busy", I will ask God to help me and fill me with his joy.

These are my resolutions for 2012. I hope that you can pray for me as I'm praying for all of your guys' years to be full of peace and joy.

Live with no regrets this year. We can do that by being aware that life on earth is fragile and can end at any moment. You or I can die right this very second. Our life can end today!When I sat and though about  my mortality and TRULY understood it (about a week ago) I decided to not take another day for granted.
 Live each day with purpose and think of what's important to you. Don't throw today away!

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

I Want To Be Like Audrey Hepburn

Did you know that Audrey Hepburn had a crooked tooth?! Neither did I! Why is that at all interesting you ask?Well.. I have a crooked tooth and for the better part of my existence I've plotted how I'm going to make it straight. I try pulling on it. Wishing on a star. I have even considered having dental work recently. I look in the mirror constantly and analyze its positioning and wish for it to grow (for it's a little baby tooth, didn't quite grow as all my other teeth did) and wished for it to get straight. I look at my teeth and think, man, if this ONE tooth was straight, my teeth would be perfect. But that's not where I stop when it comes to my insecurities. If only I had this person's legs, I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a rabbit... Oh wait never mind, just got caught up in my head. Any who, you get the point. I'm constantly picking on myself and the "flaws" that I see in me. Focusing my energy on something so negative that little by little I destroy my spirit and make myself  feel worthless.

How does this all tie in to Audrey? Well I've always loved her for so many reasons. She was fashionable, beautiful and a famous movie star. This is why I bought a coffee table book with a butt load of pictures of her to give as a Christmas present to my aunt Sharon. As I was flipping through the pages, there were many many pictures I had never seen. One in specific revealed. HER crooked tooth.  Did it change the way I saw her? NO, it made me fall in love with her even more. She's an Icon of a woman, thought by millions as one of the most beautiful women in the world and here she had a flaw. WOW. That goes to show that we are many times our worst enemies. We look at ourselves with such a critical eye. God sees us so differently and I am sure it pains him to see how judgmental we are of ourselves. As I flipped further down the book, I saw pictures of Audrey as an older woman hanging out with kids in Africa (she was a huge humanitarian devoting much of her life to UNICEF helping children in need!). She looked even more beautiful to me in those pictures where she had clearly aged than in any other picture I've ever seen of her. Her eyes were so loving and joyful. That kind of beauty only comes from the inside of someone's soul!

If I were to write a list of all the blessings that God has given me, it would super-exceed any list of "flaws". I KNOW this but some days it's just such a difficult concept to grasp. God made me exactly the way he made me for a reason. I should not be rude and Judgy McJudgerson to the creation He so carefully crafted.

Everyone is insecure about something. However, the more aware we are of the fact that our "looks" are only going to go so far, the more at peace we shall be in this world. The only way I can ever be at peace with who I am, is knowing that I was created for a purpose. There is a difference between wanting to have a healthy body, playing with makeup or loving fashion and obsessing with the physical appearance that we have. If you're always wanting to change something about yourself, it's never going to end at that little nip and tuck. You're always going to want more because you're going to be chasing an image that is different than the one you INTENDED to have in the first place.

It is by no means way easier said than done folks. I somehow believe that the more accepting of each other we are the better we'll get at accepting ourselves. We are all in need of one another. So go on. Love on who ever is next to you right now and tell them all the wonderful things you think about them! And YOU write down a list of all the wonderful things you think and feel about yourself. You'll see that you are a flawed perfect package!

I Went Clubbing Last Night

One of the things that makes me most excited in this life is dancing. I constantly have dance parties with my toddler. I am NOT going to lie, we get down! We get down so much that she likes to go on the coffee table and dance on top so she can keep sort of eye level with me. We have dance parties almost every day. The other day we danced for thirty minutes! Wowza! I would never think a toddler would want to dance for a whole thirty minutes (now when I say dance, I do mean bouncing up and down with her little legs and just moving her rump, soooometimes she'll throw in a spin or a shoulder move. I know, very fancy)! I do these dance parties because I LOVE to dance. I don't remember the last time I was at a club... wait maybe I do, it was circa 2009, November to be exact. Just a few days before finding out I was growing a tinny little alien looking gummy bear in my belly. Of course once you have a baby you don't think, "Oh today, I think I am going clubbing". Hahaha, that thought never crossed my mind! But deep down inside the passion for dance is there, thus the amazing dance parties with my baby girl.

Last night I went clubbing. Not only does that feel silly to say because I'm almost thirty, but it's even sillier that I went to an over 18 gay club. And not just ANY club. I went to a club that I myself attended, almost every weekend, circa 2004 with some of my favorite friends. The ONLY reason I went yesterday, was to celebrate my nieces birthday. Her and her friends wanted to go out dancing but they are not 21 yet, thus going to this particular place. I was honored that she thought her old lady aunt would be hip enough to go out dancing with all of her friends, so I could not deny the invitation. As I walked into the club, I was filled with thousands of memories of the " ARC company dance days". As I danced my little tush off, I couldn't help but feel so proud of my friends that I once had the honor of sharing the dance floor with. I'm a completely different person now than who I was way back when and to know that those friends have loved me ever since then, gave me chills and warmed my heart.

Same place, different perspective in life. How cool is that. As I dance with these teens/early twenty something people, all I could think of was, I really hope they get to have wonderful memories and wonderful friendships as I have.

In life, we can't ever chose our family (we need to honor them because they are a gift from God in-spite of how irritating they might seem at times). However, we can choose our friends. Our friends are going to love us, encourage us, tell us we're smoking crack when we do something stupid. Our friends help us find ourselves in this big,big world. God places the friends He thinks are going to help us grow and become a better person in life. These are friendships that can last a lifetime if you work hard at it. Even friendships take  work. But worth every effort.

I say today you take the time to tell your friends how much you freakin' love them. Even when they make you mad, your fiends are always going to know who you are, where you've been and what box you've danced on at the CLUB.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!!!

A Stolen Kiss Never Beats A Willing One

The love that I feel when my daughter gives me a voluntary kiss is something that I would never be able to describe with words! Trust me when I say that I steal kisses from her far more times than she would like, but I can't help it! I have a selfish need, that as a mother, gets fulfilled by receiving love from my little dumpling. I know that the kiss I steal is NOTHING compared to the kiss she gives ME willing. BUT my human nature makes me yearn for that gratification from her, so I resort to using my strength and "authority" by taking a smooch whenever I please.

God NEVER forces his "kisses" upon us. He is always so respectful of us. He waits and he waits until that day when WE want to "kiss" on him and tell him we love him so much. Yes he loves us unconditionally for all of time but he never feels that selfish need I do with Maddy, enough to force his love onto me like I do I her.

Wow, is that admirable or what. He has ALL the power in the world yet he has enough respect for us as human individuals that he just waits. I am so sure than when he hears me telling him I love him so much, he has somewhat of the same feeling I do when Maddy WANTS to show me love. Indescribable.

I hope you are having a wonderful and beautiful day ya'll!

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

My Deepest Darkest Secret

So to contrary believe (in my head), I'm not perfect. *Gasp* *Gasp* I like to think that I could be... (fat chance, haha!) However, I'm personality type A and I'm always trying to better myself inwardly as well as outwardly. I'm constantly thinking of how I can be better, so when I mess up, I feel like running away to Zimbabwe (I don't know why that popped in my head, maybe I subconsciously wanna go there). When I do something wrong, I literary want to just dig a hole and stay in there until I and who ever I wronged forgets the whole ordeal and we can move on with our lives. Well, that behavior becomes difficult once you become an adult. My husband has forbade me to dig any more holes in the back yard... Folks are you ready for this. I made a big mistake recently and I was dishonest with someone very close to me. I HATED the fact that I sinned, but I ABHORRED the fact that it affected someone else. Now I've always been one to think that honesty is the best policy but, I am human and there are many "distractions" in the world that can make even the most goody-two-shoes stray and become a barefoot, bad-dy (just like this joke). I made a mistake and I had to fess up to my dishonesty, yikes!

 Sin, even the littlest one, can be like a super clean windshield with a small dollop of bird crap. Even though your heart is for the most part "clean", your gaze STILL draws to the inevitable bird poo in the midst of your clean windshield. Even when you're trying to pretend there is nothing there, if you ignore your sin and don't bring truth to it, you further yourself from God more and more with each passing day. You can think it's no big deal, all I did was tell a white lie, but God knows and more importantly YOU know that you've done something that is apart from good. That division starts small but if you don't snip it in the bud, you end up with splotches of crap everywhere. Those splotches become more and more accepted by you and your peace and relationship with God starts to waver. NOT because God is pushing you away, but because in the back of your mind you KNOW you've done something wrong and YOU are the one pushing  It would have been easier to take a little Windex and clean off the first little dollop, and just maintain the mess on an ongoing basis. Let's face it we all can have messes on our windshields, we are all bound to. But the faster you come to God with those sins and you let him wrap his blanket of forgiveness on you the faster you'll be taking care of your heart. This is what I was battling with for a while and I finally listened to my conviction to come clean and I have suffered the consequences of my actions, my beloved someone has forgiven me and I feel like I can move on to the next splotch.

I have accepted that I am in no way shape or form perfect and I will probably always have a little poo on my windshield. However, the stronger and stronger I get in my faith, the faster and more conviction i feel toward any sinful nature in my heart. Thank God for His forgiveness. He forgives us faster than we ever will.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!!

Why Are We In Such a Big Flippin' Hurry

Busy body McGee, is what my name is right now. I feel like I'm always in a big hurry ... It's really not helping my IBS (yes folks, I have irritable bowel syndrome, don't make fun of me), not helping my sleep and it is definitely not helping me spiritually.

I can not tell you how frustrating it feels for me to not be able to carry ALL that I need from my house to my car in ONE trip. I'm not joking you when I say that I make it a competition with myself to see if I can carry everything (strategically if you will) so that I don't have to make two trips. Because God forbid two trips would make me a troll or something. - I will carry things in both arms, spread things out on my hands utilizing ALL of my fingers aaaaand my teeth-I have found them to be pretty strong!  I will carry my purse, Maddy's backpack, water bottle, anything I have that needs to go in the car, sometimes even the car seat and most importantly my toddler. I think in all reality it actually takes me LONGER to try to get my entire house on my shoulders and try to make my way out of my very crowded garage into my car without dropping my kid. And in the midst of all this, my armpits are sweating, I'm trying to hold back very violent swear words but I bite my tongue so that I won't be blamed for our 15 month's old potty mouth. And when I finally reach my destination I am about ready to burst, and for what?! So that I could "think" that I saved an extra 2 seconds... I'm crazy!

I could say that I have everything you can think of in the technological world to make my life a breeze. I have most time saving contraptions. So where is my flippin' time going, I'm supposed to be "saving" so much time by having a washing machine, cellular phone, toaster oven, dingle hopper (wait.. that's The Little Mermaid, I forget I'm not her sometimes)

So here's my question, why do we NOT have enough time and why are we so stressed!?  I'll tell you something about myself, as I sat in my car the other day so flustered, wet armpits and all, I couldn't help but wonder, why are my "time" priorities not set straight?  I can go on face book and lose myself for HOURS (disgusting I know) but when I could take my time to not be in such a "hurry" going from my house to my car, I choose to be in a big'ol hurry. I'm sure this is just me and no one else ever experiences any frustration about their time or stress but I needed to vent. ;)

For me, it's helped so much to focus on God and let HIM be in control of my time. He doesn't see time as we do. When I get frustrated that my time is being robbed, I surrender myself to God because I know that I can't do it alone. I hope you guys are having a super blessed night! I love you all of you so much!!

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

FAITH

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about what having FAITH means to me. With my father going into surgery next Monday, I’ve been trying to strengthen my faith. In searching for it on a very rainy day, I was brought back to last August when I went on a market trip to Ohio to visit my stations and learned a wonderful lesson about Faith.

It was a wonderful time of traveling some place new and meeting good people! It was 530AM and I had to drive from Cleveland to Dayton in my little rental car, in the mercy of Aunt Jemima (that’s what I named my navigation system). It was an especially foggy morning and I could barely see the road ahead, but I plugged away out of Cleveland and into the un-treaded territory. It was a nice drive until I got 40 minutes away from my destination, unexpectedly the sky literally got dark in a matter of seconds and the most torrential down pour started to hit my windshield. I stiffened every muscle in my body and a wave of panic washed over me. I could not see anything but my wipers going the maximum speed. My hands were moistened as I griped the wheel and I just keep praying for my faith to be restored and to not have this fear of not knowing where I was and being caught in a terrible storm. I turned the radio to get a bit of a distraction and all I got was static, frantically I pushed the scan button to get a better station… nothing ,static. Finally a station with clarity was on and they were singing a song about nothing other than, FAITH! I felt a sudden wave of relief, suddenly I felt a bit stronger. About a minute after I got stronger, I started sweating of nervousness again due to the fact that I could not see anything on the road. I had no idea if I was on track or if I was going to drive off the road. Panic was settled in ,nicely buckled in the passenger’s seat. About a dozen prayers later, a Wonder Bread Semi merged right in front of me! I thought, “Oh Thank God”, I can now follow Him and I’ll be fine, I put all my focus on the wonder of it all, and just stared straight ahead at the red hearts on the back of the semi. I got stronger! I had a little more FAITH that I was going to be alright. I keep praying for the storm to be over , over and over , and over again but my prayers were going unanswered. .. it wasn’t over BUT I knew I must have been praying for the wrong thing because I had faith my prayers would be answered if they were the right ones.

Now that I had a guide through the storm I started thinking what it meant for me to have FAITH. I realized that the “storm” I was going through was similar to when things are going wrong in life. You can’t stop the storm, you have to have FAITH that you will get through it! I was praying for the storm to stop, when I should have been praying for the FAITH to get through it all! Once I realized that, I quit praying for the storm to stop and I thanked God for my FAITH. I kid you not the minute I did that (the following is not writers embellishment, I promise), the storm stopped and it was like out of a movie. the clouds parted and it became the most beautiful day! I could not believe that all I had to do was pray for my FAITH to become greater than my fear. We are all faced with different circumstances in life that are scary. But when we stop to think that we have the ability to exercise our faith in those times to get stronger and stronger, and know we're not in it alone, it provides a peace unlike anything else. And as more and more “storms” come your way you can withstand a lot more. I hope that if you are going through a storm in your life, that you take a moment to thank God for it and let Him bring you closer to Him. Let Him show you the promise of Heaven. This is not our world.

Know that you are taken care of and that when you have God, you don’t need anything else.