I'm a Much Better Parent With God

There are certain things I really don't know about being a parent. I think I know less than I think I really do. BUT, I always hope that I can be the best parent I can be, flaws and all.

My little girl has a way of challenging everything that I once "thought" I would say or do as a mother. It is thrilling to get to know her a little more everyday. To understand how she was beautifully and fearfully made, and to encourage her spirit to be the person God intended her to be. She's only two at this point, and most of the time I'm really finding out how she was fearfully made.... can I get an Amen!? Some days, I truly don't know how I can carry on and then something happens.. I admit to myself and to God that I am NOT, to contrary believe (I think of just myself),  the ruler of the universe. And when I ask humbly for help - because I know that without the help of the Holy Spirit I suck at being a parent - I see the miracle that God gives me that day... patience, forgiveness and unconditional love to my little girl.  Now ask me if I do this everyday... NOPE! I get so caught up in "life" that some days I don't back down and I think I alone can do it all. Those are the days that I find it hard not to yell, those are the days that I cry of frustration, those are the days that I walk into my little girls room and see she has taken her diaper off and poo is smeared ALL over herself, the crib and her favorite stuffed animal. Cool. I am not trying to say that when I ask for God's help in directing me as a mommy everything goes right. However, my attitude is so different that I bring on a different, more positive energy into the day that even if I'm thrown for a loop, I have the Holy Spirit backing me up and I can feel a difference. There is a difference. The tough part is remembering and putting into action my faith in God as a parent. He can help me be the mother he intended me to be. Will I fail miserable time and time again? Yes, but there is a wonderful thing that will happen when my daughter sees my vulnerability as a mother. She will relax in herself and she will know that even mommy needs God's help. And she will see a difference when I trust in the Lord. Example is by far more impressive to a little heart than empty words and expectations.

Let God lead you today to be the parent He created you to be. You will never be perfect, but you will have an awesome opportunity to transmit a seed onto your children that will feed a hunger for God.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

The Power of Prayer

Have you ever wondered if your prayers are being answered? Well you are definitely not the only one my amigo! I have struggled so many times wondering what God was telling me in response to many of my prayers. There have been many times I've actually thought that my prayer was being answered, however it was only ME trying to shove a square peg in a round hole. I've tried to make God follow my lead and that is really narcissistic of me since I really have no clue what piece of the puzzle I really am to God's amazing creation. My life, (although most times I think I'm the most important thing in the world) is really not what this "Broadway Show" is about. God is the Producer of this show called "Life" and I am maybe an over achieving splinter of wood on the stage so to speak. I have to remind myself that it is really not ALL about me and that sometimes the prayers I come to God with, might not be in the  BEST interest of our show. I have to rely on the fact that God does promise to have plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11  

See, God does not work like a genie in a bottle. It's not like I say, "Man, I wish I had three unicorns and a Popsicle wrapped in bacon" and poof all my wishes came true! Sometimes I wish it were like that, but what fun would it be if we were able to have everything we ever wanted in life? Maaaybe a little  fun- but after a while it would get old and we would be wishing for a more "boring" life. See, only He knows what we really need. Only He knows our perfect plan. Even we, when we sit down and really think about it, know what we truly need. God might not give us what we want at the time but He ALWAYS gives us what we need. If I ever have doubts as to God's answer to any of my prayers, I can sit down a couple of weeks later after I've prayed and prayed and I can totally see what God has done in my life. Maybe He didn't answer the way I would have (from time to time I DO suggest many solutions to my problems to Him, I really don't know why He hasn't listened, I come with many great ideas)! But looking back I sit in awe of how gracious He is to me. And when I have a different perspective I SEE why it couldn't of turned out the way I so desperately wanted it to! Our timing is not God's timing. Our solution is often not His. Ultimately if I trust God as much as I can muster, I am always overwhelmed at the amazing ways He answers my prayers.

 Sometimes  God blesses me with what I pray for. Sometimes He tells me, not now but look at what else I've got for you. Sometimes God changes my heart to not want or "need" what is in my prayers.  The more you are in communication with God, (because that's what prayer is friends, just a friendly dialogue with Him) the more attuned we get to God's answers.  Prayer is the most powerful thing you'll ever be able to do in life. You'll find a way to understand so many things about your life and it will transform you heart, I can promise you that! It has happened to me. I've never been more at peace with who I am than when I started sharing my day with God and being in constant communication. Bringing all my problems and concerns to Him. It's like having a top notch- super good -therapist on call 24/7... FOR FREE!

Make a point to praise God and thank him for what He is doing in your life.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libier

Is The Perfect Man Out There?!

Yes ladies... and gents, the perfect man is out there, but he is taken! I am married to him and thank goodness for that! haha JUST KIDDING (honey NO offence)!

I watched the movie The Vow last night, coupled with watching The Bachelor this season (I know! Don't judge me, I already do)! And the romance of it all got me thinking about the skewed perception of our culture about marriage, love and what a relationship "should" be like, or for that matter, what a man should be like.

I am married to the most perfect man for ME so that I can grow as a person. He, in no way, shape or form is "THE PERFECT MAN". "THE PRINCE CHARMING". "THE ONE AND ONLY WHO CAN FULFILL ALL MY NEEDS AND FANTASIES". Okay you get the point. I will say though, I am very, very much in love with my husband and I find him irresistible (most times) and I am so happy that I get to share all of my adventures with him. However, he is the man that God put in my 'ever-after' so that I would become a better person. NOT so that I would be happily ever after. My husband is the person who is going to rub me in all the wrong ways and bring out all the nasty little annoying habits of mine. He is also going to bring out the most beautiful things about me as well. Doug is the person that helps God shape me into the person I need to be!

Love isn't some fairy tale, or some romantic movie. Love is a choice that we have to make every day to keep that fire alive and to allow our partner in crime to help us be better NOT just happy. It is not realistic to be happy all the time.  It is so much responsibility for "the other half" to have to make us happy ALL of the time. Or fulfill us in ways that are really outside their realm. As much as I am saying my hubby isn't perfect, neither am I. I will repeat that statement, NEITHER am I! I bring out the best in my husband and I can certainly bring out the worst in him as well. A choice of love has to be made daily, in order to help each other out in life, because times will get rough. The vaavaavoom will exit the stage so to speak. The butterflies will go home and you are left with a choice to continue on with a relationship that is going to feel like it has fizzled out-but that is only the beginning of a much more fulfilling and intimate relationship with your mate!

No man is the perfect man. No woman is the perfect woman. If you have this notion, you're going to be left disappointed time and time again, jumping from relationship to relationship trying to find your prince charming... OR woman charming (this is the best I could come up with at this time! I know! lame...)

Find someone you share the most non-negotiable core values with and give it a go. Find the beauty in not placing so much responsibility onto a human being. Find the beauty in the vow of marriage. Find the beauty in the faults of your loved one. Cut them some slack. AND turn inward and see where YOU can become better. Strive to change yourself into a better person so that they will never regret choosing you  for their adventures in life.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libier

Get Off the Couch and Become Somebody

This week I’ve been thinking about why we as a society love to watch movies such as Rocky or Rudy. Or how come we love to hear about Inspirational stories that overcome all adversity, be it in the news or on Oprah .  I've been giving a lot of thought not only to why we like hearing about these stories, but also about what it takes to BE that person that overcomes life’s challenges and becomes the hero .Or what it takes to be the kind of person that is able to be THE BEST at what they do. 


What makes people excel at things and train so vigorously that the win the GOLD medal in the Olympics? What is that X-factor that those people have that I don’t?  WE love to watch and hear about stories that beat all adversity because WE wish that for ourselves. We want to be the ones beating that temptation of eating a Twinky  to be in the best shape of our life. We want to be that person to run 3 miles every day in order to run a half marathon. We want to be the person who can do it all;  a parent/partner/excellent employee/son/daughter/ friend/ neighbor/Jimmy-Bob Stud.  But more often than not we get caught up in the "busy" part of THINKING about what we want to achieve and planning to do so.  That we forget to get started and make up our minds of the goals we wish to achieve. We set up for failure because rather than just making up our mind that we are going to do something and actually doing it! Instead, we dwell on the start-up process because it's easier to always be "planning" something, rather than DOING something and failing at it.  We think of this brilliant idea that will for sure make us a better person, but the problem is that by the third day we've let it go to because the going got tough. So we start "planning" the next thing we’re going to do to become that perfect human being that we all so longingly desire.


 I say this is all just bologna!  I know that if we just make up our minds of what we want to do, we can do it. It’s too simple for us to comprehend at times. We want attaining success to be this profound hidden treasure that only a few lucky souls get to find, while the rest of us are left out to just watch it on our television . Well I say that it’s the time for all of us to stop making excuses for what we can’t do and start thinking of what we can do. The mind is a powerful tool that can be taken for granted. Sometimes its easier to blame our circumstances, or our parents or  our blah blah blah.  That technique is a whole lot easier because its scary to think that our lives are a manifestation of what we REALLY want for ourselves and what we think about ourselves. It is the hardest thing to do as a human being to look with-in and comprehend that your life sucks because you are choosing it to suck. Or that you are allowing people or things to dictate your joy. Its so much easier to point the finger because then we don’t have responsibility for our choices and the way we react to our circumstances.  To have responsibility is to have the ABILITY TO RESPOND to any situation as you see fit. That means that you have the ability to respond positively  to any circumstance and rise above adversity. Don’t let anyone dictate your joy. Not now, not ever.  Make it a good life! Meditate on what your passion in life is and tell yourself that you can go for it. If it's your passion then it's in YOU for a REASON!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! 


Stay Blessed and Stay Saucy! 

Save Your Relationship

     


I've been happily married for over three years now and my marriage is an amazing roller-coaster. Sometimes we are completely head-over-heals for each other and sometimes.... sometimes let's just say, it takes every ounce of my being not to Karate chop him in the throat! So many times I've wondered why oh why is my husband not giving me the love that I deserve!? And then we bought a book called Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs and I was able to understand 100% what was standing in the way of the love that I was yearning for. I'm not trying to have this act as cliff-notes for the book, I completely know I wouldn't do it justice, BUT I will give you the lib-notes. What I got out of the book per-say. Are you ready?

• Men and women are different (No duh)
• Men hear in blue and women in pink (thus we can say one thing and have two meanings behind it)
• Women love to love and love LOVE love to GET love. Men not so much concerned about the love thing-Here's where it get's INTERESTING... (MEN NEED AND WANT YOUR RESPECT!) SHAZAMMMMM! 
• There is a crazy cycle- If the woman doesn't get love then it's hard for her to give her hubby respect, and if the husband doesn't feel respected, it's difficult for him to display love.
• Don't fret, there is also something called the "Energizing Cycle"- With love she treats him with respect and with respect he treats HER with love. How'bout that!?

   I've been missing this concept my entire life, and now that I see it as plain as day it makes total sense! And trust me when I tell you that it has already saved Doug and I from some, pull your hair, I'm going to go get my nunchucks I'll be right back kind of fights! The catch though IS that someone always has to be the better person EVEN when they aren't getting what they "deserve". So for example one day we were having a heated discussion (well we were fighting, I just like the sounds of the other better). And I was able to not care about the fact that he was being unloving and asked him a very important question. "Honey what did I do that made you feel disrespected?"  Ohhhh my gosh! Boy oh boy do I wish I could do that every time. He told me why he felt like I was being rude to him and it all boiled down to miscommunication. And the argument was over faster than I could say ninja. But had I not had the courtesy to put my feelings aside for a minute to ask him the question, I would have been all mad and angry. Things would of just gotten out of control and before we know it we would have been fighting about something completely different five hours later.  

Since then there have been times when he's had to be the better person, and it makes me feel so loved when he gets interested in what I'm feeling. When he gives me unconditional love, it really MAKES me want to be respectful and loving to him. Try this little method out. And by respect I do NOT mean, be a doormat and never raise any questions or bring anything up for the sake of not arguing. I mean be respectful in the way you treat your man and enjoy all the beautiful LOVE that you'll get from him! 

Women, trust me. If you have a husband or boyfriend who isn't treating you with the love that you deserve, give him that unconditional respect he needs. Be enamored by him and praise him for the man that he is. Remind him that you are not sickened by the person he's become.  Make him feel like you feel PROUD to be his woman and you'll be dumbfounded by how he will in-turn treat YOU. 

Men, trust me. If you have a wife or girlfriend who doesn't treat you with the honor and respect that you crave, give her unconditional love. Don't think that everything she says is to piss you off, or to make you miserable. She is just saying "I'm not feeling loved right now, please love me!"  If you seek to understand HER and in everything make it known that you love who she is, she WILL respect who you are! 

I know it's very difficult to be in a relationship sometimes. BUT it can be done.  To the point that you end up having an intimate relationship that no earthly thing can break.  

Stay blessed and stay saucy everyone!!