Love

This whole week I’ve been thinking about relationships. I’ve been thinking of the ups and the downs that we experience and all the different stages of love. From the very first stage that is full of the butterflies, the passion, and the can’t get enough of yous’. To the, I’m comfortable enough now to let go a little and be more of myself around you. To the “I’m so used to you I feel like I don’t know you” stage. To the falling in love all over again. It’s a big ol’ circle that must be completed in order to keep love alive.

I’ve been challenged in the past few months with a family friend that wants to end a 10 year marriage. What happens to love then? I’ve been thinking about it a lot especially now that I have my husband and a child on the way. It’s scary to think that people you never thought would part do. What happens to love then? I am absolutely in no way shape or form an expert on relationships, let alone marriage since Doug and I are only 1 year and 8 months into this whole Tango, BUT here’s what I do believe; Love is a CHOICE. The moment you started dating someone it was because of a specific something or other that made you happy. Something that was so strong at the beginning that you could not even go an hour without thinking about this person. What happens to love? In most cases the world happens, but it is our choice to let it die. When you commit your life to someone you are promising that person that you are going to love them, respect them and make them happy. In my marriage, I know there is trouble in paradise the minute I start questioning why Doug isn’t doing something nice for me. Why is he not treating me like the “Queen” I am? (Drama, that is! Ha) Why is he not, why is he not, why is he not, I’ll think. Right there is the solution to my problem. If I take a deeper look, I see that when I’m so worried about what he’s not doing for me, I am completely neglecting what I AM NOT DOING FOR HIM. I made the choice to marry him because I want to love on him and make HIM happy. I should not be interested in “what have you done for me lately” (Thank you Janet Jackson for those lyrics). Let HIM worry about that on his own. I should worry about making him feel loved, respected and happy in his love language not mine. I have to be so interested in him that I know his love language, but at the same time communicating what is mine to him, so that when he chooses to love on me, it will be loudly heard. I guess what I am trying to get at here is that I now DO NOT BELIEVE IN the “I fell out of love” stage. That is an easy escape from the choice you made at the very beginning of the relationship. You cannot fall out of love because love is a choice. So chose to love the one your with and learn the way they need to be loved and appreciated. I guarantee that the minute you forget about what’s not being done for you and you do for them, the reward of love coming back to you will be tenfold! This applies in all relationships so it’s not just for the married folk. You can do this with your sister, father, and friend. I chose to love today. Do you?

I got an email today with a poll from different kids about what they think love means. Check it out!

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love..'

Rebecca- age 8