Taking A NEW Direction

I'll tell you something. I have had the pleasure of being sneaky and manipulative my whole life. I am being totally sacrastic right now because I dont think it's been a pleasure. It's been more like a curse and my survival mode. It comes from a very broken place. It comes from believing no one has my back and I have to either make things happen on my own or they will never get done. I haven't had the opportunity to learn  to trust ANYONE in life. So for 30 years I've been resorting to being sneaky and manipulative to sway the odds to go my way. I am in a vastly "impossible" journey right now, click HERE if you'd like to read my proposal. I am raising half a million dollars for a non-profit organization BridgetsDream.org. I am suggesting to anyone who pays for talent to hire me and pay them until we reached the half a mill. Well, I've been trying to do this since November of last year and no such "luck". I know ... I know.... that is not very much time, but in my little head it's been too long.

 Why doesn't God just coming down from his heavenly place and wave his magic wand and just giving us the half a mil? Why? Well. Although I fully believe that the impossible is POSSIBLE with God. I think his plan is better than mine. WHAT?! "How could that be impossible" In the words of my four year old. Although I belive in miracles, only becuse I've witness them myself...  I would not be alive right now typing this blog if it weren't for a miracle of God. I was in such a place of dispair last year that I literaly understand why people want to comit suicide. God got me out of that hell. He got me out of the darkest pit you could ever imagine. Without medicine.... without therapy (I am not suggesting that it isn't good to go to therapy, I think it's amazing to work things out with someone who can help you. I am also not suggesting taking medicine is bad when you need it. I just have a specific senario of why it worked out the way it did for me.) It's a miracle. Although I trust 95% that God can do it ALL, I know that he is doing something more amazing than I could ever imagine or come up with myself. Even thought I feel and know all these things I still struggle with taking matters into my own hands. By trying to manipulate cituations, people so on and so forth. I don't feel good saying it but I have to be honest about my heart and where it's at. The problem is that I don't HAVE to do that because I can take the pressure OFF myself and place the burden on HIM. He is the one who is going to help. I am only to be the hands and feet. Serving each day and being still (in my mind) and knowing that he is God. He will help. I know that. I just need to trust that he will and that I don't have to resort to sneaky and manipulating because I can fail him on a daily basis. But he, HE WILL NEVER FAIL ME. OR YOU.

With the help of some amazing friends I was able to put this journey on it's head. I am so grateful to have such amazingly talented and SMART friends. So we are going to focus our attention in a different direction for now.  I am going to ask our community for help. I am going to ask for artist in Sacramento to help me raise the money. And I am going to ask anyone who feels moved to donate to this cause to do so. I trust BridgetsDream.org I KNOW they have already helped so many people. And with the first survivor-led Drop in center in Sacramento, they will be able to help God only knows how many more. Stay tuned to what's next. If you'd like to help please let me know! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy!

-Libier 

Bad News Bears

Hi friends and family! Just as I want to share with you they joys of my journey I think I've ought to share with you the difficulties too. If you haven't read the first proposal letter you can do so HERE. Today I started the day so anxious, super frazzled, feeling like ten million things were pulling at me. Feeling like I had no direction. I could have given in to that whim and most days I usually do and I turn out a hot mess at the end of the day. But not today! Today I decided to SLOW MY ROLL! I decided to meditate on what was important to get done. If you're anything like me you're wanting to just GO for the sake of getting more done. But today I've realized that zoning in on what is important and for me, praying about what direction I needed to take today has already lowered my heart rate. I don't feel anxious and I am ready for what the day has to bring. If you feel scattered, slow down. Listen to your body and allow some time for reflecting on what is important to get done just today, and cast everything else out the window! Love you all very much! May your day be filled with joy and peace!  For those of you who like scripture I loved James 1:2-6 today.

I am ending the day with no good news. In fact the company that had said yes last week is pulling back and I am very sad. I will not doubt God in all of this. I will not quit and I will not get discouraged even when all of me wants to just go back to my old life of predictability and safety. I will not quit. This proposal is not just about me modeling or acting. It is not about me at all-perhaps just that my body will be used for something good.  It is about the souls and families of souls that have been previously devastated by a dark force that tried to kill their little girl or their little boy with the grips of sex trafficking. It's for the little girl wondering if it matters that her innocence has been shattered. It's about the husband and wife working through a healing process from his wife being a victim of painful abuse. It's about leaving a legacy of resilience and defiant hope in a creator who can take a broken heart, heal it. Redeem it. And use it for the good of IT and many more people.  With God not one ounce of pain is wasted. This proposal is about helping those who have no voice. Who have no choice but to be slaves. I am sad tonight for this set back.  But I will rejoice in this difficult time of not having any breakthrough because I know it's coming, because I believe who it's coming from!! I don't know when, I don't know how. I just know it's coming. Thank you for your prayers, good thoughts, support and love.  I appreciate you!  

Stay blessed and stay saucy! 

Libier 

Share My Story? What!?

I was able to share my life with some amazing Jr. High and Highscool kids this Sunday. I have been dreaming of a day where God would give me the opportunity to speak from a very voulnerable place and put myself out there for the sake of people seeing his redeeming power through a broken heart, my very broken heart.  To actually experience what I've been invisioning for years was one of the most exhilarating and terrifying moments ever. I had a different feeling afterwards than what I thought I would have. I was emotionally exhausted from exposing my life story so candidly to so many people all at once, but thrilled to hope that my story would inspire many to belive God and trust Him. I am called to be a servant of God and in that servitude, there are often things that I would rather not do because I am scared to be judged, scared to fail, scared to succeed, scared to be persecuted yaddy.yaddy.yada! It is in the moments of vounerability and weakness that God can show his power and glory and that's where my servant heart comes in. I need to be reminded everyday that I want my own glory more than I want God's on a daily basis. Accepting that and dying to that daily... sometimes hourly is necessary for me to live my life for God and let Him have the glory He deserves. I am alive to be a confirmation of the light NOT to BE the light. I am responsible for using the talents and abilities He gave me to serve others; and telling my very broken story is just one of those things God has called me to do. I am so grateful for all the awful things that have happened to me. Without them I would not be who I am today. With out them I would not find God as my biggest satisfaction. Without them I would not truly trust God with my life and my family (As much as this wicked little sinner can trust Him- I don't boast on my power to trust the Lord, I boast on His amazing power to help me trust Him.) Without them I would not have compassion and love for my neighbors. Without them I would not understand God's grace and therefore be able to extend it to myself and others. I don't think it will ever become "easy"  to share my story but I hope that when I die people don't remember me for the "easy" things God helped me accomplish..... 

Stay blessed and stay saucy! 

-Libier 

Let Me Tell You How Much Money I've Raised!

Happy Friday friends and family! I hope this full week after the Holidays was productive and that you're alive! I am so grateful for 2015, a new start! Let me start by saying I sort of tricked you. To be honest I've raised $0 for the half a million that I want to raise for Bridget's Dream (If you need the beggining of this story click HERE)!

I haven't posted an update for a WHILE so there is a lot to cover. But I'm going to make it short and simple for you! Even though I still haven't raised any money yet there are soooooo many nuggets of hope! Nordstrom is STILL a big possibility, I talked to them this week but they were supper bogged down from the Holydaze! Sonia Kashuk actually has come on the HOPE waggon. I am waiting to hear back from their publicist, I am thinking possibly next week! I called Target this week and didn't have any luck getting a live person to talk to, only fun robots and they weren't very helpful, they kept hanging up on me. I guess they don't get programed with empathy or compassion.... I thought I would give up on Target and my amazing husband found a webiste called human.com where you can get an actual phone line with real live breathing people with pulses. I was able to get through three people and the third person knew the woman who does casting for commercials and print so she sent my request to her via e-mail.... MORE HOPE! THEN I followed up with Loui Vuitton... Can I just say I am utterly amazed at their level of customer servise. They have an incredible team of people. I talked to two very nice ladies and they both were super helpful. They e-mailed me saying that it takes approximately four weeks to review any proposals. So WE WAIT. THEN I wrote a proposal to Proctor and Gamble. Phew! 

Today though! I got my VERY FIRST YES! I don't know all the details yet so I won't be able to say whom! BUT I am freaking out!!!!! God is so good! After saying no, they changed their minds! God has given me a fierce persistance. It is not of me but of HIM! The old me would NEVER take rejection and tried again. I would just feel defeated and hurt that I had been rejected! He is a God of restoration and courage! I can't wait to learn all the details of how they are going to use me but this company is awesome and they are local. So stay tuned for all the details! 

I am in awe of the work God is doing in me through all of this. He is helping me trust Him more and more and know that in Him all things hold together. And all things are possible through HIM! I don't know when, I don't know how (and I've actually stopped getting butt hurt that GOD isn't giving me ALL the details because to be honest HE IS GOD - I am NOT. He can keep his ultimate plan and I just need to rely on Him one day at a time!) He is giving me a peace that surpasses my understandinig. Even though at times I fall appart in my head, even thougth at times I want to give up. I won't. I don't. Thank you for reading this! Stay tuned! If you feel called to, please share my story with your friends and family. Encourage someone to believe that miracles still exist. Me being alive is one of them! THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS, GOOD THOUGHTS, ENCOURAGEMENT, LOVE, HELP. Your involment in this is as crucial. We all have a hand in this and I thank you for being a part of this in which ever capacity you are from the bottom of my very ELATED heart right now! I am fixing my eyes on Him so that I don't become discouraged. He is calling me to be strong and couragous. I would have never believed I would be couragous in my entire life!! I've felt more like a coward than anything else in life. I've realized courage comes when we know how loved we are. Courage comes when we do what God is calling us to do EVEN if we feel afraid. He knows we will never NOT feel afraid but we don't have to BE afraid because if God is for us who can be against us?! 

Stay blessed and stay saucy 

-Libier 

Loving When You've Been Hurt

When we serve the people that have hurt us we are doing an amazing thing for God. Next time you're faced with the opportunity to bless someone who is or has been mean to you, fix your eyes on Christ. Pretend with all your might that the service you are doing is for God and not that person and see what a beautiful blessing God will pour out. We are here on this earth to serve. It is easy to serve those who are kind to us. Not easy to be kind or even serve or help those who are bullies. Not easy to forgive those who have yelled at us. Not easy to love those who have said awful and done awful things to us. Those actions are miracles,  only though Christ is that kind of love, forgiveness and service possible. Even if that person doesn't notice or anyone else for that matter, God is always watching!  And when we love Him with all our might we then can pour out his love onto those who are difficult to love. It is then that His face shall shine down onto yours and he will thank you from heaven for loving your brother or sister in Christ as you love yourself. Do the thing with Christ in mind, knowing that all we do is for Him and through him his love shall shine ever so brightly in your heart and you will expereience a joy and a peace that is beyond all your understanding.  

Understand and believe that God's character is one of justice, everlasting love and compassion. He understands your pain and he will never waste ANY of it. He will pay you double for your trouble if you choose to let Him in and help you. His promises are true. We don't need to take justice into our own hearts and keep polluting ourselves with bitterness and resentment. In the end, every knee shall bow. He is just and He will make every wrong right!  I know God's promises to be true because they have been realized in me. I trust God with my pain, I trust him with my dreams, I trust him with my family because the alternative is a life of anxiety, want, fear and pain. A life without purpose. It is not easy trusting God. I will admit that a year ago I couldn't in all honesty say those words without lying. But now I can and it feels amazing. I've never been able to trust anyone in my life. It has to start with God. He is the only one that will not disapoint. He is the only one that will never fail. It will not be easy, but nothing GREAT has ever come from "easy". He does promise that "when you pass through the waters He will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will NOT sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will NOT be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2 

Stay Blessed and Stay Saucy! 

-Libier