The power within

This week I was chatting with one of my best friends. She is one of the most amazing people I know and my longest friend of over a decade. Her and I share a passion for the arts which has been our common thread our whole friendship. My little Pookie (don’t judge me, that’s what I call her and I like it) is currently pursuing her passion having recently moved to the city of angels to make herself a well paid actor. She has what it takes to be on the big screen, big stage, TV, you name it! I believe in her like no body’s bee’s wax! She’s got an amazing voice, she’s an incredible actor AND to boot she’s one of the most beautiful people you’ll ever meet. What’s not to love?

In our conversation, she proclaimed her nerves for her upcoming audition this Saturday for RENT the musical. She just recently got a job as a server at a restaurant and she said, * “ Well I know that I would get a job serving quickly because I’ve done it for so long and I’m good at it, but I’m not too sure about this audition. I’ll go into it thinking it won’t happen but I’ll just go and see what happens. “WHAT? I said!! What, what, what? You think you’re better at serving tables than you are at the craft you’ve been practicing since you stole camera from your little sister to sing Annie’s, Tomorrow as a little girl!? That’s NUTS! You are way better at performing my friend because that is your LOVE, your passion, what makes your skin feel like a million rays of sunshine filled with care bears and dreamcicles and bread sticks from the Olive Garden penetrating through every fiber of your being! I told her it’s good she’s not putting all her eggs in one basket with the audition but her attitude and thoughts about it are already making her fail. Rather than thinking, I LOVE what I do and I’m going to give it my all, whatever the outcome is I will learn from it and be grateful, BUT I know that I’m WORTHY OF IT and good enough to have it.

So many of us sell ourselves short from what our potential is. And we say these things before a presentation for work, or a job interview, or when waiting for something we secretly long for, because we don’t want to be let down with the outcome. But when you go into a journey already thinking you’ve failed you won’t have the confidence enough to bounce back when you’re going through it to succeed because you’ve already proclaimed what is. Am I saying that if she thinks positively she’s going to get the audition for sure? No, unfortunately that is not a guarantee. Not everything that we want we get, but we do get what we need at that point in time. All the difference the attitude shift will do, is make her perform to the BEST of her abilities without thinking of an outcome. Only focusing on the reason that she’s there in the first place is going to make her shine from within. If the directors don’t see that then that job wasn’t the job for her at this time, BUT she will have learned that she loves it all the more to keep trying until someone sees the light from within and when they do, that will mean that’s exactly where she’s supposed to be. She is going to succeed because she loves what she does. As for you, what are you selling yourself short on? Are you making an excuse to why it is okay for your to fail at something rather than just doing it because of the core reason you wanted to do it in the first place? Take this time to reflect on what your LOVES are and don’t let them go. Outcomes are outcomes and the all lead you to YOUR place in this world even if you don’t understand right away where you’re at or where your headed. Make sure you enjoy and LOVE the journey. Say a little prayer for my little Pookie or send her really good thoughts for her audition this Saturday! Be loved, be passionate, be saucy. Happy Friday!

*not necessarily a verbatim quote. Sorry Pookie.

Mull Hill

This has been an especially challenging week for me. Started with the nerves about my dad’s surgery. (By the way it went amazing and he’s better than any doctor could ever imagine! Thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts!) Second of all I’ve been struggling with getting accustomed to my new changing body, new “limitations” and this weird lovely bump that resembles a melon protruding out of my abdomen. I’m starting to have trouble doing things that I’ve been doing for years, like bending down, buckling my shoes, making ninja videos etc. But the most challenging thing this week for me came from my feeling guilty of not being able to help Doug out with our old house as much as I would like. We are STILL not completely moved out of it yet, it needs painting and cleaning in order to rent it out and all of this just proved to be way too much for this little ol’ preggo lady. I had a meltdown in front of my husband, fell down to my knees, threw up my arms to the heavens and with a helpless yelp yelled out, “Doug, we’re NEVER going to be done! NEVER! We have sooooo much left to do, waaaa , waaaaa, waaaaaa!” Water works everywhere! Doug, being the cool, calm and collected dude he is told me not to worry and that we were almost done, basically to not get my nursing bra in a bunch. As I thought about it more and more I just felt like I had been making this tinny thing dictate my joy first of all, second of all; If I were to put all the things that we had to do on a scale and weigh them against what we have already accomplished, the scale would tip more towards being done! What was I all worried about!? Sometimes I feel like we humans tend to want to have that “edge”, or stress if you will, because without it we feel like we’re not doing enough. And to boot, most of the time it’s totally self induced but we are so wrapped up in it that we don’t take a second to notice that we are choosing to make this tinny thing dictate how we feel! Take the time to figure out if you’re making certain things bigger than they really are. These little nuisances make all the difference in your quality of life. Find out what’s truly important to you and say good bye to the rest!

This quote sums up my week. If I just had a good attitude about the tasks I have to complete, they would all feel like a piece of cake! Have a great weekend and stay saucy everyone!

“It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to.” ~Annie Gottlier

FAITH

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about what having FAITH means to me. With my father going into surgery next Monday, I’ve been trying to strengthen my faith. In searching for it on a very rainy day, I was brought back to last August when I went on a market trip to Ohio to visit my stations and learned a wonderful lesson about Faith.

It was a wonderful time of traveling some place new and meeting good people! It was 530AM and I had to drive from Cleveland to Dayton in my little rental car, in the mercy of Aunt Jemima (that’s what I named my navigation system). It was an especially foggy morning and I could barely see the road ahead, but I plugged away out of Cleveland and into the un-treaded territory. It was a nice drive until I got 40 minutes away from my destination, unexpectedly the sky literally got dark in a matter of seconds and the most torrential down pour started to hit my windshield. I stiffened every muscle in my body and a wave of panic washed over me. I could not see anything but my wipers going the maximum speed. My hands were moistened as I griped the wheel and I just keep praying for my faith to be restored and to not have this fear of not knowing where I was and being caught in a terrible storm. I turned the radio to get a bit of a distraction and all I got was static, frantically I pushed the scan button to get a better station… nothing ,static. Finally a station with clarity was on and they were singing a song about nothing other than, FAITH! I felt a sudden wave of relief, suddenly I felt a bit stronger. About a minute after I got stronger, I started sweating of nervousness again due to the fact that I could not see anything on the road. I had no idea if I was on track or if I was going to drive off the road. Panic was settled in ,nicely buckled in the passenger’s seat. About a dozen prayers later, a Wonder Bread Semi merged right in front of me! I thought, “Oh Thank God”, I can now follow Him and I’ll be fine, I put all my focus on the wonder of it all, and just stared straight ahead at the red hearts on the back of the semi. I got stronger! I had a little more FAITH that I was going to be alright. I keep praying for the storm to be over , over and over , and over again but my prayers were going unanswered. .. it wasn’t over BUT I knew I must have been praying for the wrong thing because I had faith my prayers would be answered if they were the right ones.

Now that I had a guide through the storm I started thinking what it meant for me to have FAITH. I realized that the “storm” I was going through was similar to when things are going wrong in life. You can’t stop the storm, you have to have FAITH that you will get through it! I was praying for the storm to stop, when I should have been praying for the FAITH to get through it all! Once I realized that, I quit praying for the storm to stop and I thanked God for my FAITH. I kid you not the minute I did that (the following is not writers embellishment, I promise), the storm stopped and it was like out of a movie. the clouds parted and it became the most beautiful day! I could not believe that all I had to do was pray for my FAITH to become greater than my fear. We are all faced with different circumstances in life that are scary. But when we stop to think that we have the ability to exercise our faith in those times to get stronger and stronger, and know we're not in it alone, it provides a peace unlike anything else. And as more and more “storms” come your way you can withstand a lot more. I hope that if you are going through a storm in your life, that you take a moment to thank God for it and let Him bring you closer to Him. Let Him show you the promise of Heaven. This is not our world.

Know that you are taken care of and that when you have God, you don’t need anything else.