I Want To Be Like Audrey Hepburn

Did you know that Audrey Hepburn had a crooked tooth?! Neither did I! Why is that at all interesting you ask?Well.. I have a crooked tooth and for the better part of my existence I've plotted how I'm going to make it straight. I try pulling on it. Wishing on a star. I have even considered having dental work recently. I look in the mirror constantly and analyze its positioning and wish for it to grow (for it's a little baby tooth, didn't quite grow as all my other teeth did) and wished for it to get straight. I look at my teeth and think, man, if this ONE tooth was straight, my teeth would be perfect. But that's not where I stop when it comes to my insecurities. If only I had this person's legs, I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a rabbit... Oh wait never mind, just got caught up in my head. Any who, you get the point. I'm constantly picking on myself and the "flaws" that I see in me. Focusing my energy on something so negative that little by little I destroy my spirit and make myself  feel worthless.

How does this all tie in to Audrey? Well I've always loved her for so many reasons. She was fashionable, beautiful and a famous movie star. This is why I bought a coffee table book with a butt load of pictures of her to give as a Christmas present to my aunt Sharon. As I was flipping through the pages, there were many many pictures I had never seen. One in specific revealed. HER crooked tooth.  Did it change the way I saw her? NO, it made me fall in love with her even more. She's an Icon of a woman, thought by millions as one of the most beautiful women in the world and here she had a flaw. WOW. That goes to show that we are many times our worst enemies. We look at ourselves with such a critical eye. God sees us so differently and I am sure it pains him to see how judgmental we are of ourselves. As I flipped further down the book, I saw pictures of Audrey as an older woman hanging out with kids in Africa (she was a huge humanitarian devoting much of her life to UNICEF helping children in need!). She looked even more beautiful to me in those pictures where she had clearly aged than in any other picture I've ever seen of her. Her eyes were so loving and joyful. That kind of beauty only comes from the inside of someone's soul!

If I were to write a list of all the blessings that God has given me, it would super-exceed any list of "flaws". I KNOW this but some days it's just such a difficult concept to grasp. God made me exactly the way he made me for a reason. I should not be rude and Judgy McJudgerson to the creation He so carefully crafted.

Everyone is insecure about something. However, the more aware we are of the fact that our "looks" are only going to go so far, the more at peace we shall be in this world. The only way I can ever be at peace with who I am, is knowing that I was created for a purpose. There is a difference between wanting to have a healthy body, playing with makeup or loving fashion and obsessing with the physical appearance that we have. If you're always wanting to change something about yourself, it's never going to end at that little nip and tuck. You're always going to want more because you're going to be chasing an image that is different than the one you INTENDED to have in the first place.

It is by no means way easier said than done folks. I somehow believe that the more accepting of each other we are the better we'll get at accepting ourselves. We are all in need of one another. So go on. Love on who ever is next to you right now and tell them all the wonderful things you think about them! And YOU write down a list of all the wonderful things you think and feel about yourself. You'll see that you are a flawed perfect package!

I Went Clubbing Last Night

One of the things that makes me most excited in this life is dancing. I constantly have dance parties with my toddler. I am NOT going to lie, we get down! We get down so much that she likes to go on the coffee table and dance on top so she can keep sort of eye level with me. We have dance parties almost every day. The other day we danced for thirty minutes! Wowza! I would never think a toddler would want to dance for a whole thirty minutes (now when I say dance, I do mean bouncing up and down with her little legs and just moving her rump, soooometimes she'll throw in a spin or a shoulder move. I know, very fancy)! I do these dance parties because I LOVE to dance. I don't remember the last time I was at a club... wait maybe I do, it was circa 2009, November to be exact. Just a few days before finding out I was growing a tinny little alien looking gummy bear in my belly. Of course once you have a baby you don't think, "Oh today, I think I am going clubbing". Hahaha, that thought never crossed my mind! But deep down inside the passion for dance is there, thus the amazing dance parties with my baby girl.

Last night I went clubbing. Not only does that feel silly to say because I'm almost thirty, but it's even sillier that I went to an over 18 gay club. And not just ANY club. I went to a club that I myself attended, almost every weekend, circa 2004 with some of my favorite friends. The ONLY reason I went yesterday, was to celebrate my nieces birthday. Her and her friends wanted to go out dancing but they are not 21 yet, thus going to this particular place. I was honored that she thought her old lady aunt would be hip enough to go out dancing with all of her friends, so I could not deny the invitation. As I walked into the club, I was filled with thousands of memories of the " ARC company dance days". As I danced my little tush off, I couldn't help but feel so proud of my friends that I once had the honor of sharing the dance floor with. I'm a completely different person now than who I was way back when and to know that those friends have loved me ever since then, gave me chills and warmed my heart.

Same place, different perspective in life. How cool is that. As I dance with these teens/early twenty something people, all I could think of was, I really hope they get to have wonderful memories and wonderful friendships as I have.

In life, we can't ever chose our family (we need to honor them because they are a gift from God in-spite of how irritating they might seem at times). However, we can choose our friends. Our friends are going to love us, encourage us, tell us we're smoking crack when we do something stupid. Our friends help us find ourselves in this big,big world. God places the friends He thinks are going to help us grow and become a better person in life. These are friendships that can last a lifetime if you work hard at it. Even friendships take  work. But worth every effort.

I say today you take the time to tell your friends how much you freakin' love them. Even when they make you mad, your fiends are always going to know who you are, where you've been and what box you've danced on at the CLUB.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!!!

Just Be Still

I'm looking at the most wonderful view right now and I can't help but feel so small in the midst of all these trees and the mountain range! It is so apparent to me RIGHT this very second that I am NOTHING in this big world and that I am EVERYTHING in this big world. I look at the mountains and beautiful scenery and it makes me think about my life. I realize that life is how I live it. I can get all caught up in the thick of thin things and spin in endless circles worrying about what is "important" in life. The position of a chair, trying to convert someone to like MY baseball team, worrying if I have what it takes to succeed in the world, blah, blah, blah, blah-blah!

Looking at this amazing and endless picture makes me KNOW that God is in charge. God is the big boss of my life and what I think is super "important", God probably doesn't even think about! It's making me want to slow down just a little bit. It's making me want to be free of thoughts and free of judgments, and free of anything that is attached to the world. It makes me want to just sit in God's peace. For I know that when I allow for alone time with God, wonderful things happen.

I eat healthy, exercise, shower daily, all these things to make myself a better person. However, I seldom have time to just sit and be still. This is my challenge for the new year. To just sit and be still and allow God to be the boss.

Stay blessed and stay saucy!!