Yes ladies... and gents, the perfect man is out there, but he is taken! I am married to him and thank goodness for that! haha JUST KIDDING (honey NO offence)!
I watched the movie The Vow last night, coupled with watching The Bachelor this season (I know! Don't judge me, I already do)! And the romance of it all got me thinking about the skewed perception of our culture about marriage, love and what a relationship "should" be like, or for that matter, what a man should be like.
I am married to the most perfect man for ME so that I can grow as a person. He, in no way, shape or form is "THE PERFECT MAN". "THE PRINCE CHARMING". "THE ONE AND ONLY WHO CAN FULFILL ALL MY NEEDS AND FANTASIES". Okay you get the point. I will say though, I am very, very much in love with my husband and I find him irresistible (most times) and I am so happy that I get to share all of my adventures with him. However, he is the man that God put in my 'ever-after' so that I would become a better person. NOT so that I would be happily ever after. My husband is the person who is going to rub me in all the wrong ways and bring out all the nasty little annoying habits of mine. He is also going to bring out the most beautiful things about me as well. Doug is the person that helps God shape me into the person I need to be!
Love isn't some fairy tale, or some romantic movie. Love is a choice that we have to make every day to keep that fire alive and to allow our partner in crime to help us be better NOT just happy. It is not realistic to be happy all the time. It is so much responsibility for "the other half" to have to make us happy ALL of the time. Or fulfill us in ways that are really outside their realm. As much as I am saying my hubby isn't perfect, neither am I. I will repeat that statement, NEITHER am I! I bring out the best in my husband and I can certainly bring out the worst in him as well. A choice of love has to be made daily, in order to help each other out in life, because times will get rough. The vaavaavoom will exit the stage so to speak. The butterflies will go home and you are left with a choice to continue on with a relationship that is going to feel like it has fizzled out-but that is only the beginning of a much more fulfilling and intimate relationship with your mate!
No man is the perfect man. No woman is the perfect woman. If you have this notion, you're going to be left disappointed time and time again, jumping from relationship to relationship trying to find your prince charming... OR woman charming (this is the best I could come up with at this time! I know! lame...)
Find someone you share the most non-negotiable core values with and give it a go. Find the beauty in not placing so much responsibility onto a human being. Find the beauty in the vow of marriage. Find the beauty in the faults of your loved one. Cut them some slack. AND turn inward and see where YOU can become better. Strive to change yourself into a better person so that they will never regret choosing you for their adventures in life.
Stay blessed and stay saucy!
-Libier
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