I don't know how much you know me but if you do know me at all you know that I have 101 ideas runing through my head daily about cool things I want to do. Projects I want to dig my teeth into, crafts I want to start, classes I want to teach. If you came up to me on any given day and asked me what "ideas" were jogging down my membraine, I could easlily rattle off at least 2-3 (I'm being a little more realistic here, see?).
With that comes a greater chance that the 2-3 ideas perusing in my mind, will never come to fruition. I really don't know why I do that ( I think I was just made a do'er) but sometimes it's exhausting in my brain! Sometimes I wish I could not have any ideas at all. But then again that wouldn't really be me.
Aaaany waaaay! I've been taking a hard look at the makeup of myself and seeing how I tend to like to do a lot of things, however, I'm not AMAZING at any ONE thing. Not that it's a terrible thing, but when I think of why, the answers always comes to me with "well I don't think I'm working hard enough" at the things I really do love. For example. I love to dance, I wasn't classically trained but I do love it. I can pick up choreography and dance like it's the last thing I'll ever do. BUT I can't say that at ANY given point I really worked extremely hard at getting really really good. I've lacked discipline.
WHY? Well I can't tell you easily that it just comes down to being a tad bit lazy and scared of failing. Because when I do something kind of half-assed, I don't run the risk of failure, or embarrassment, or hurting myself in any way. In other words I have to be willing to go all in and be okay with failing dramatically in order to say, I've worked hard at something. I'm not that kind of person. I don't want to "fall". I like to play it safe and stay within my comfort zone because there I can pretend that I'm this cool person that makes no mistakes right? Ha, even saying that sounds so ridiculous. People are always going to have some opinion about me. People are not always going to agree with me or even like me. So why do I get so hung up on not working really hard and falling really hard in order to get really good at something I love, for the sake of looking stupid in front of someone that probably doesn't even think that in the first place. They are probably just having a lot of gas that day and that's why their face looks weird and to ME it looks as if they are in disapproval of what I'm doing! Ahhh that was a lot to get off my chest. I don't even know if this blog is making ANY sense AT all. So if you're reading this and a million of question marks are filling your brain, I do apologize but I'm feeling really good and vent-Y right now. And that's not even a word, so there!
I guess all in all, I want to work on not trying to "impress" the gassy man next to me and just live my life and work hard at the things I love to do. In the end, it's hard work that gets the results we are all looking for. You reap what you sow, don't cha know? I want to make a pledge to work on my talents in a way that is pleasing to myself. I also want to work on not being scared of falling, because when we fall it means we're going all out at something we really love. Believe it or not, I came to this conclusion by watching my toddler. She doesn't care what people are thinking of her. To her, the world is only a poke away and she is curious about everything. She doesn't stop when she can't get the cap off the stinkin' toothpaste. She continues on; even if it means sliping from the chair she dragged all the way from the kitchen to get a better view of our sink. After she falls off, she climbs back on the chair and by God she finishes unscrewing that cap! What resilience. Did she ever turn to look at my weird face? NOPE!
Don't be scared to get back on that horse and gallop right into your dreams.
Stay blessed and stay saucy!
-Libier
No comments:
Post a Comment