I'm going through a really tough time right now. Everything is really coming together to form one big pile of poop if you ask me. My Aunt Sharon just passed away. My mom is far far away and I won't get to see her in a long time. I was in the ER last Friday and now I have to have a colonoscopy to figure out what's wrong with me. My friends are having issues of their own. I have a three year old and a four month old and I'm trying to figure out how to be a mommy of two. My daughter's pediatrician told me she's too "little" since she's in the 0 percentile and is basically telling me I am not feeding her enough, even though she is healthy, happy and hitting all her milestones. It seems like I'm getting a cold, and oh I just stubbed my big'ol toe. Just kidding, the last one is the only one that's not for real real. I probably sound like a whinny little sinner to you. However, all these things are actual stresses in my life that are affecting me in a very real way. I can also sit here and type out the million things I am blessed with, because I am; But that's not the point of this post.
The point of this post is to uplift anyone who feels like the walls are caving in, FOR WHAT EVER REASON. We live in a world that promotes self reliance, ALL time pleasure, ALL time happiness, ALL time SELF. It is impossible to have those things at all times. That's why we keep searching.. We are all walking around pretending like we have it all together putting up a facade of perfectness to our neighbor. When someone is going through a tough time we say, "Don't worry it's going to be okay" ...... " I can tell you a WAY worse story than that and I lived through it. You'll be fine." ..... "What did you do to deserve this?"..... All the while when something is happening to us we wonder why no one understands us, why we feel so alone. I say we start by being real with one another, realizing that we are all broken one way or another. We ALL have shortcomings. And more importantly we are all hardwired with feelings for a reason. TO FEEL THEM. If we walk around all day pretending we are perfect and minimizing our own pain and the pain of others we are damaging a beautiful connection with our brothers and sisters of this world. We can all look put together, pretend that hard circumstances don't shake us, that we make ourselves happy and we can stand alone; but that's why everyone is going home and secretly living out their depression. For the most part alone. God didn't create us to be alone.
God wants us have feelings and to love one another. What ever you are going through today, this week, this year. If you have a hardship, it matters. It matters to God. I hope that you can start by not minimizing your own pain. It hurts because it matters to you and that's okay. With God it is possible to be in a dark place because He's got more light than you can ever imagine. If you come to God with your hurts He will heal them in time. Don't rush the process. as long as it's in prayer God will deliver you in His timing. Second I hope that if you read this you can know that when someone you love is going through a tough time even if you don't know what to do or what to say, the safest bet is emulating your loved one's feelings. Make them feel like you care by saying, yes this really sucks! Give people a chance to mourn what ever needs mourning.
Even though I'm going through an incredibly difficult time in my life right now, God has been so faithful in sprinkling in so many blessings through out my days. But more importantly I've come to know Him better, I've learned how to be compassionate (let's hope I remember next time someone needs my help!) and I've been able to exercise my FAITH muscle which can only be exercised when going through a tough time. I am no more going to have faith if I have an easy life, than a toddler will eat his spinach while staring at a chocolate cake. Unless they hate chocolate.... but you get the point. I can say that I have all the faith in the world, until I am tested, then somehow the majority goes out the window and I am humbled and can be real with myself and God. Be real. Be true. Just be you, you have no one to impress but God and he already loves and accepts you more than you can ever fathom.
Stay blessed and stay saucy!
