So to contrary believe (in my head), I'm not perfect. *Gasp* *Gasp* I like to think that I could be... (fat chance, haha!) However, I'm personality type A and I'm always trying to better myself inwardly as well as outwardly. I'm constantly thinking of how I can be better, so when I mess up, I feel like running away to Zimbabwe (I don't know why that popped in my head, maybe I subconsciously wanna go there). When I do something wrong, I literary want to just dig a hole and stay in there until I and who ever I wronged forgets the whole ordeal and we can move on with our lives. Well, that behavior becomes difficult once you become an adult. My husband has forbade me to dig any more holes in the back yard... Folks are you ready for this. I made a big mistake recently and I was dishonest with someone very close to me. I HATED the fact that I sinned, but I ABHORRED the fact that it affected someone else. Now I've always been one to think that honesty is the best policy but, I am human and there are many "distractions" in the world that can make even the most goody-two-shoes stray and become a barefoot, bad-dy (just like this joke). I made a mistake and I had to fess up to my dishonesty, yikes!
Sin, even the littlest one, can be like a super clean windshield with a small dollop of bird crap. Even though your heart is for the most part "clean", your gaze STILL draws to the inevitable bird poo in the midst of your clean windshield. Even when you're trying to pretend there is nothing there, if you ignore your sin and don't bring truth to it, you further yourself from God more and more with each passing day. You can think it's no big deal, all I did was tell a white lie, but God knows and more importantly YOU know that you've done something that is apart from good. That division starts small but if you don't snip it in the bud, you end up with splotches of crap everywhere. Those splotches become more and more accepted by you and your peace and relationship with God starts to waver. NOT because God is pushing you away, but because in the back of your mind you KNOW you've done something wrong and YOU are the one pushing It would have been easier to take a little Windex and clean off the first little dollop, and just maintain the mess on an ongoing basis. Let's face it we all can have messes on our windshields, we are all bound to. But the faster you come to God with those sins and you let him wrap his blanket of forgiveness on you the faster you'll be taking care of your heart. This is what I was battling with for a while and I finally listened to my conviction to come clean and I have suffered the consequences of my actions, my beloved someone has forgiven me and I feel like I can move on to the next splotch.
I have accepted that I am in no way shape or form perfect and I will probably always have a little poo on my windshield. However, the stronger and stronger I get in my faith, the faster and more conviction i feel toward any sinful nature in my heart. Thank God for His forgiveness. He forgives us faster than we ever will.
Stay blessed and stay saucy!!
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