The other day I was making a dish that said, "pair me with a butternut squash soup". So I said, "Okay"! It would mark the first time I made something with butternut squash myself and I had no idea what was in store! As I attempted my first cut, I struggled to get my knife in the right position, a couple seconds latter I KNEW this was going to be super difficult. I used the BIGGEST knife I had and the shell of this thing was so hard to cut through! - I feared for my life. Those suckers are difficult to dice!! Why did no one ever tell me this!?
I did the best that I could and only managed to salvage 30% of the squash for my soup. I was left baffled and wishing there was a better way. After making my B.S. soup (sorry I don't want to keep saying Butternut squash.. Butternut squash... Butternut squash.. so we'll stick to B.S. I don't know what's worse), both my husband and I decided it was deliciosa (delicious in Spanish). It was just so darn tough to make it that it makes me not want to ever cook it ever again. However, I remember the sweet and butter-nutty taste and my mouth waters... and then I want to do it all over again. Kind of when you go through labor, you're in all this pain and then somehow you forget how difficult it was once you hold your little baby, you get mommy amnesia and you want bring another little nugget into the world (pregnant pause). And back to soup...
I started thinking of myself and I figured out that I am a lot like a butternut squash. How? You ask. Well let me tell you. I started out this hard shell. Walls up. Insecurities up the yin-yang. People would try to come into my "space" and I pushed away- hard! I was this self-seeking, not flexible, selfish, vain, judgmental person. Sometimes someone would be able to get in a bit; but even then it was frustrating I bet. The "fruit" that was in me still did not give any good taste. It wasn't until I finally let God IN that I was able to become sweet and soft so to speak. God in many ways was the boiling water wearing me down to be kind, humble, and joyful.
And then a new day comes and I start all over again! God tries and tries to break me apart so that he can put me in "hot" water to make me "sweet" once again. This is an every day process. I will never be fully GOOD, there are so many temptations and worldly desires that can ruin my walk with God. But He is always looking for the opportunity to help me along with my journey. I just need to let Him. I start off as the B.S. All hard and outer-shelly (I think I just made that word up). And then he dices me up and shows me what my place is in life when I walk with Him. Even if he gives me something difficult to go through in this life "my hot, boiling water", when I walk with God, I will always end up a sweet and delicious butternut squash soup.
P.S. I really hope you like butternut squash. If you don't, that sucks and you'll just have to substitute your favorite vegetable that's difficult to cook. haha
Stay blessed and stay saucy!
-Libby Lu
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