Marriage

This week I’ve been blessed in celebrating my 2 year wedding anniversary with my main squeeze. I took a waddle down memory lane and reminisced the path that my husband and I have been on for the past 3 years. From the moment that Doug and I met I knew that I’d be in for a wild ride since on our first meeting he walked in my heels, made silly jokes, and farted while saying bye to me! Surprisingly, before asking me to be his girlfriend Doug sat me down and talked to me as if we were business partners on the verge of a very important transaction. He told me that he kinda liked me, but he didn’t want to waste his time. He was ready for something serious and that he didn’t want to mess around. Dang , dang, dang ohhh DANG! The business proposal consisted of three very important “non-negotiables” that I had to agree with in order to be his girlfriend, thank you very much! I of course chuckled in my head and thought , “Is this guy for real?!” Well, after glancing at his very serious expression I quickly knew he wasn’t messin’ and that I should probably listen. No one else in my “dating” world had ever been so upfront with me, I suddenly got an overwhelming feeling that this was something different, something better.

Drum roll please… The three “non-negotiables” in order of importance were: 1. He needed a woman who would put God first above everything else 2. A woman that always communicated with him no matter what and 3. A woman that didn’t smoke. I had to quit smoking!! EEEEKKKKKKK. I agreed to the first two right away and said that I would do my best with number 3, (LITTLE did he know that my “best” took me a year and some gumballs to accomplish. He must have really liked me, not just kinda, in order to deal with my “trying” to quit for so long). From the very beginning of our relationship I knew this was no ordinary partnership. I have felt so blessed to have found someone that knows absolutely everything about me and that can still love me in spite of all my flaws, my past, and how oddly shaped my head is. Someone that makes me grow in such amazing ways and that lets me help him grow in his path as well. I can’t begin to tell you how stubborn and “independent” I had to be in my growing up in order to survive. So when I started my relationship as a wife with Doug it was very hard for me to allow myself to share myself with him in every decision of our lives. That was a big struggle with me, completely submitting to him because my whole life I thought that was a bad thing. I thought WHY should you need to submit yourself to your mate?! I know now that it’s actually a very important thing in marriage or in a relationship for that matter, so long as the submission is from both sides. I know there is a struggle when you make the decision to share your life with someone else for the rest of your lives. You might feel as if you’re being stripped from your identity. IT’s NOT , you are about to embark in one of the most wonderful challenges of your life, learning the balance of being yourself, while growing into the person that your love makes you be. So it is imperative that you choose a partner that makes you grow and change into a better you. Allowing yourself to morph into the best partner you can be for them. Like learning to like the other persons music , or learning about sports because you know it’s important to them. These changes are not a measure of weakness, they are a measure of strength. Strength that you have for loving someone so much that you are willing to adapt your life so that they are happy and trust that they will do the same for you. I’ve had so much fun in my marriage discovering different facets of our relationship, different sides of myself, of Doug. I’ve had fun working through the rough times (and trust me there have been rough times)! It has been such an amazing experience because we know that after the storm has calmed and we’ve thoroughly worked a problem out, we have learned so much more about each other individually and as a couple. And we have the certainty that we can overcome the rough times by always putting God first in every situation. It’s been interesting to find out how different marriage is from what I THOUGHT it would be. It’s nowhere near what I thought. It’s a hundred times as wonderful and it can be a hundred times as challenging as I had imagined. But when the day ends and night falls we are left just us two alone, it’s as if the world disappears and we were made for each other laying there knowing that we have a buddy for a never ending sleepover until death due as part. Making the choice to love this one person for the rest of our life and continue to help them, and make them fall in love with us time and time again is a daily quest you much partake in. Love is a strange thing when you stop thinking about it as they show it in the movies. Love in its raw form is the most amazing thing any human being could ever experience, but you have to open your heart and go into it blindly in order to experience the full effect. No walls, no filters, no thinking “I don’t want to get hurt”. Because that you will. But the hurt will make the good times feels oh so much better. Enjoy your love very much for a loving relationship can be the most rewarding thing you can cultivate in a life time.

Stay saucy!