Since my little girl decided to give us a "preview" of labor on Father's day, I've been on the edge of my seat! Especially this week , it was my first week home from work on maternity leave and every little contraction, or every joyous pain I felt, I thought, Oh boy THIS is it! And guess what, nope, nada! I keep thinking of when it would be the perfect time for her to make her grand entrance into this world. I keep wondering what it will be like and making up stories in my head of what I'm going to feel like, or what my husband is going to be like as well. I keep trying to predict when this is all going down! My whole pregnancy I've been caught up thinking, I can't wait for this to happen and I can't wait for that to happen. For example, I could not wait to get to twelve weeks of pregnancy because that's when the possibility of miscarriage diminishes by a ton. I was so focused on that part that I'm pretty sure I didn't pay much attention to my first twelve weeks of pregnancy. Then it was, oooh i can't wait to find out the sex. And so I even had a count down on my phone telling me how many days till then I still had to wait. Finally that came. Then it was, oh I can't wait until I am showing. And then that came, and now that it's here I find myself thinking, oh I can't wait to NOT look pregnant anymore! Make up your mind yo! But now, the biggest line that runs in my ever so active brain is, Oh I can't wait to have her and meet her! All this, I can't wait , I can't wait, can become quite exhausting. I'll tell you why, because I'm not allowing my self to enjoy the now. I'm trying to be a fortune teller and predict when things will happen and how I'll feel when they do. I'm worrying about things that haven't and probably WON'T even happen, but there I am, using precious time on the I can't waits and the future predictions. I know that what I am doing is not what I should be doing... I know that I need to leave the future to God and that I should enjoy and take peace in what is going on NOW. How many times do you allow yourself to wonder into the future like a balloon with no anchor. Soon enough it just keeps going further and further away. How do you get your thoughts and your focus back to the present? It is so stinkin' hard for me to do that I have to admit. To surrender all those thoughts of worry and what if's and focus my energy in what is happening right this minute, but with a little persistence and self -consciousness it is quite possible and quite healthy. No I'm not saying that thinking of your future is a big NO, NO. Obviously in our society is quite admirable for someone to have plans for the future and for that, you have to think about it and plan things out. It's also very nice to have something to look forward to, and God knows we all need a little sumn' sumn' to look forward to . But when does being a future voyager become harmful to our existence. It is when you're trying to direct your life in a certain way and not allowing God to lead you and bless you in the now. Do me a favor and try one whole day to not think about tomorrow. Focus your precious energy in what you are doing and see the blessings in it. Find God and goodness in all you're doing right this second. Be completely in the moment when talking to your loved ones. Be present in your life RIGHT now because who knows if there will be a tomorrow. What we do know is that there is a today and we are only "semi-living it" because our conscious thoughts are in the future. What a difference it might make in your relationships if you are present in the moment. What a difference it might make in you by allowing yourself to enjoy the now and leave the future to someone that knows best. Most of our anxiety is caused by fear of the unknown. Well, if we are constantly in the future in our heads, we are constantly in the unknown, therefore we are constantly in a state of anxiety. Why live this way when we can make the choice to live otherwise. I hope you have a beautiful day counting your blessings. I know I will be!
Stay saucy!
-Libier
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