Parenting 101

With my baby's D-date around the corner, I've been forced to think about our lives and how much, so much is going to change very soon. I've been thinking about being a parent and what that means. I've been thinking about MY parents and how they raised me and how my husband was raised as well. Obviously I have NO idea what being a parent is going to be like, but with some observations of people around me, I've began to formulate my ideas of what I think it might be like. I see my family and it's inevitable to notice how Mexican we are. There is a hard core sense of family ties in most Mexican families,and I think it's augmented times twenty in mine. Family is number one, and that's what it's all about. You would think that was "good" all the time. I am in it, so I see it as a bit of a shortcoming at times. For example, my parents have always lived for their kids and their kids only. My father can't sleep if he doesn't talk to me everyday. My mother thinks I'm being a bad daughter if I don't see her EVERY week. They do nothing else but work and live to be with their family. With or without knowing it they dish out guilt trips when I don't go see them or call them.
I've realized that being a parent is more of a very important job rather than God giving you little person that you should expect to love you and be around you at all times. God gives us children to start them on their path of life and to teach them wrong from right . Ultimately they are little individuals who are here to figure themselves out in the world and to find their purpose and to build a strong relationship with God apart from you. We as parents are the people who get to take care of them and show them the way. I know that the second I meet my baby, I am going to fall much more in love with her than I already am and it's going to be hard to not want to smoother her with love and protectiveness. I need to remember that I am here to help her find her path and that sooner or later she is going to go off and do her own thing, and I have to be okay with that. I've been thinking of how it's going to take much much work in order to keep my relationship with my husband alive. We are going to have to work hard at making sure we are staying a couple and not just parents. It is crucial to nurture your relationship with yourself and with your life partner. I say this because I've seen many marriages struggle when all of their kids grow up. The couple no longer has anything in common because they've spent the last eighteen years of their lives focusing only on their children. I'm not trying to say be mean to your kids and neglect them. you obviously need to make sure they have a good life. I just know what it feels like to be a child that is a product of their parents giving ALL of their attention to them and them only. I feel guilty that I can't see my parents every day because I can just picture them bored watching T.V. and waiting for me to call or to go visit. I don't want to feel this heaviness in my heart. I would love for my parents to be individuals and have likes and interest and hobbies that could occupy their time and their minds. My mother and father have given themselves so much to their family that they don't know themselves as individuals or as a couple anymore. This causes a disservice to both them and their children because they feel resentful towards their children because they feel abandoned; And the child feels guilty and obligated to fulfill something in the parent that no child should have to fill. We all came to this world alone and we all leave it alone. Having a family and loved ones to steer us in the right direction and love us is imperative to our existence, but ultimately the relationship you have with yourself and God is the most important one because if that is not in order everything else in your life feels wrong. Being a parent is going to blow my mind I am sure, and I am so excited for the adventure. I really hope that I can give my daughter everything I have for her to have a strong foundation for her life. I know that it will be hard to see her go once it's time, but I'm so excited for the path that she's going to go on. It's so exciting to me for my husband and I to design our own parenting plan. No one gets a manual on how to be a parent, but when you trust that God will be there at every crossroad, every question, you can rest assured that you'll do the right thing. Parenting in my mind is putting your trust in God that you are molding a person into someone that is going to love life and explore what the world has to offer and to reach their potential and calling in life. I can't wait for the adventure!

Cheers to all the parents and parents to be in the world!