If you asked me six years ago if I would enjoy cleaning toilets, changing diapers, and not having a “real” job, I would have said H-E double hockey sticks NO! If you asked me if I would enjoy my list of responsibilities reading the following:
· - Keep a clean home
· -Care and raise a baby
· -Cook meals for your husband
I would have laughed and said that I needed something more fulfilling for my life. My vision of happiness and success was far from the list up above. At one point in my life I didn’t even believe in marriage, and didn’t want to have children. Wowza, do things change or what?! When my husband and I prayed about what we would do in regards to my career, we were encouraged to have me stay home with our baby. At first I was so excited for the new adventure, but as I was faced with the reality of it, I can truly say it was a very rocky start. I had a lot of turmoil within myself because I wasn’t being used to my potential if you will. I was no longer an integral part of a business meeting. I wasn’t being challenged intellectually, my words of choice suddenly became…. Goo-goo ,ga-ga. There was no instant gratification for the hard work I was putting in. For some reason Madelyn was NOT gabbing at how amazing I was at changing her diaper. Because of my competitive edge, I would start timing myself in diaper changes to see how much I was improving (I’m not joking!). And sadly enough, anytime I was at a play date and someone would change a diaper at the same time as me, I would have a full fledge competition with that person to see who was faster (I didn’t tell them we were in competition, but I sure had fun in my head!). The only gratification I got from Maddy was spit up on my freshly cleaned shirt and cries demanding “More boobie, more boobie, woman!!!”
How was I supposed to love staying at home with my baby when so much of my life was spent doing everything possible for me to NOT end up in a position like thus. I needed an education so that I DIDN’T have to just be a homemaker. I needed a fulfilling career so that I felt accomplished and worth something. You can see how lost I felt, the better part of my life I spent preparing for the business world and neglected the business of taking care of a home. I would reject my mother’s advice on cooking or sewing or cleaning. My madre would tell me no one was going to want to marry me because I didn’t know how to cook and I didn’t like to clean. I would laugh and say that I would find a husband who could cook and clean for ME! Well that I did because I was blessed to find Doug and he loves to cook, but that’s beside the point. As I ventured into our marriage I found myself wanting to cook and clean for the home, but I still didn’t think that I would want to do that 100% and full time. When I had an 8-5 job too, I was able to engage Doug into being fairsies 50-50 in the home duties, you can do that when you are both working. But now that I stay at home full time, I have no excuse. I don’t expect Doug to come home from his job and do all the cleaning and cooking (although I must say that he is so generous that he still helps around the house!). Fortunately for me (and Doug ((sometimes)), after I left my mother’s house and lived on my own, I became a cleaning nut! If I could, I would have dates with myself and treat me to cleaning my entire house for fun! I find doing dishes therapeutic so I have no need for my dish washer (it serves a greater purpose in storing my baking gadgets), and I like my cereal boxes to be in order of tallest to shortest. You can see what a spoiler a baby can be in my cleaning regimen, I have to clean when she’s asleep! But even with this newly and STRANGELY found love for cleaning, I still didn’t feel like being a stay at home mommy was going to be all that it’s cracked out to be. Now, eight months into it I’ve found out the beauty that is homemaking. I don’t NEED some suit to tell me I’m doing a great job at life, I can see it in the happiness of my home that I am. And who cares if I have to clean every day of my life and care for my little one? I find the importance in what I am doing everyday because that’s what gives me purpose. I find my responsibilities extremely important, no matter how mundane and non-classy they might be. I’ve found a great lesson here. It doesn’t matter what you do to earn a living, what matters is the attitude you carry in your heart day to day. Are you allowing yourself to find the blessings and the importance of your livelihood? Our world tells us that we must have this and we must have that to be happy and successful. Why it is that even the wealthiest people are sometimes not happy? Because happiness starts inside your soul! It dwells in your heart; you have to find the importance of you and your life with in you. Not in your career, your financial worth or your possessions. I find my homemaking skills a true asset and a great accomplishment in my life. For me, happiness is within me, I can be cleaning poopie and still be happy! Find your happiness inside of you and don’t let your twisted manager, or your boring job be the boss of you, for today is the only day we can truly count on. Do you want to waste it not feeling unhappy and unsatisfied with your life? NO Be happy, be blessed, and stay saucy!!
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