You Have To Be Willing To Fall!

Yesterday will mark a day in my life’s history that I will never forget. It will go down as the day I threw a bigger tantrum than my 9 month old could ever think of. I am not proud of it folks, but I must make it more than just the day I threw a tantrum, I must write about it so maybe someone could get something out of my shortcoming.  

My husband is the type of guy that loves to do lots of active/sporty things.  He’s always up for going on walks (this is especially humorous, when he tries to get my entire family to go on a walk after dinner! After many attempts, my brother finally caved and promised Doug to go on a walk only and only after Thanksgiving dinner every year.) With this love for sports and outdoor fun comes my disinterest in them. You would think I enjoy it, but sometimes, I don’t . I do it for him because I know it’s important that we compromise and that we show interest in each other’s interests. So when Doug suggested we go on a family bike ride yesterday, I said yes because I had no idea what was in store. Here is my background in bike riding; I haven’t ridden a bike since I was probably 5, and even then, I only really got a couple of “riding” times, if you even want to call it that. After getting married, Doug got me a bike and I had to kind of re-learn how to maneuver the thing. Here are my bike riding highlights, just so you know the extent of my novice-hood; 1.- when I got my cruiser bike, I wasn’t used to the breaks being on the pedals, so instinctively I kept trying to go to the handles. Doug was bothered by the fact that I kept ringing my bell so many times that he yelled “Why do you keep ringing your bell!?”  Well I wasn’t trying to ring ANY bells, I was trying to break the darn thing. 2.- I FELL off of my bike when it was stationary! Yes, we were just standing waiting to go at an intersection and I got started and FELL to the side brining my bike down on top of me! So you see, I am not at all an expert at riding at all! PLUS, I’m a big scaredy cat! Yes, I said it a BIG scaredy cat. So add these all together, throw in a hard bike trail course… add a very steep hill… with a little bit of panting…struggling to get up it… wishing I had never said yes to the “bike ride” … follow that by the creepy man staring at me trying to pedal for my life, grinning at me…and the ease of Doug going up the hill whilst pulling the trailer our 18lbs baby is in… and ladies and gentlemen you got yourselves a tantrum!! I knew I wasn’t going to make it up the very last part of the hill and I was imagining what I would look like falling backwards and then my bike coming to meet me at the bottom of the hill. So I stepped off my bike and yelled “THIS IS SOOOOOO STUPID! I HATE THIS!” Aaand the waterworks began. Doug was so taken aback by my frustration and tears, that all he could do is repeat how sorry he was for making me come on this death trail. For 10 minutes all I could do is, cry. Can you imagine a twenty-seven year old, grown woman crying while riding her bike? Well that was me. At the very end of the bike ride I kept thinking how upset I was that he would make me do something I wasn’t ready for, something that I was scared of. Had he described to me what it would be like before going, I would have said no. But I would have missed out on seeing how I react to life throwing something at me that I am not comfortable with! Why did I get so mad at my husband? He is helping God to mold me into a better person. He is taking these situations and helping me overcome fears I’ve had for ages by gently making me come face to face with them.  At the time it doesn’t feel like it to me, but he is doing something good rather than just trying to torture me. I can be the type of person that likes to stay in the boundaries of what’s comfortable. In the boxes of what I’m good at, I like to say I’m a thrill seeker, but only the thrills that I view safe, or easy, or things that come naturally to me (I think we’ve all established that bike riding is NOT one of them.) But how can I ever be a better person if I don’t expose myself to situations that can help me grow? Why is it so hard to get rid of a fear? Doug was helping me get free of these chains that feel so heavy at times, that prevent me from doing things that I “think” are scary but when I let go could be fun in the end. On our way home there was one last hill we had to ride over. A freeway overpass that goes up then goes down. Doug was so kind to ask me if I wanted to walk it and I said yes…But something made me change my mind and while I was riding up the hill I still felt a little bit of fear. Once we were on our way down there was a sense of accomplishment in my soul.  I even let go of the breaks and put my legs out (for like a milli-second, BUT STILL!) I felt so free. Thank you Doug for always finding a way to scare the shiitake mushrooms out of me and introducing me to new things in life! I love you and I would not be the woman I am today without your help!  Folks, what are your fears? I suggest you go and try to overcome one this week. Ask someone close to you to help you out, but you have to be willing to let yourself fall. Now, go kick that fear’s A-double snake and put it in your past. Because it can be done! 

Stay blessed, stay saucy!