Your Inner Child

In light of mothers day approaching I got to thinking of what it was like to be a little kid. I thumb through my memory of being a child and find awesome tid bits of my history. Wowza, being a kid rocked!! Playing care free, not worried about bills, or responsibility; thinking you were the coolest cat in town because your parents just bought a tape player, oh yeah! Crying about the silliest things such as my brother teasing me because I had big teeth, you know every day stuff. I think of this and wonder, in what defining moment did I switch over to the non-existing innocence of being an adult? When did I start forgetting that sometimes you just need to play to feel alive? I’m so lucky to say that in spite of my days in adulthood, I still very much love being a big kid and I have the perfect side kick for it. My husband is amazing and caters to my inner child and lets her come out and play. We’ve been known to create obstacle courses in our home and draw up rules and regulations for the game and then play it until someone wins! We’ve made forts in our living room to watch movies and camped out in our back yard whilst making s ‘mores in our stove and running outside pretending we had a toasty fire. We make up songs to chant as we’re doing mundane things such as cooking to make it more fun and lighthearted. (tacos, tacos, tacos!!) I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t let my inner child come out and play from time to time, it frees my soul!

If you’ve never tried playing like a child as an adult, I highly suggest you try something out this weekend. You don’t have to start big , just a fun game of pretend would be fine, or play a (NICE) practical joke on someone you love. I guarantee that you’d have a blast and you’d find a way to keep coming back for that feeling. Don’t get stuck in the “adult” world of worries and this and that. Let your inner child come out and play a bit and you’d be surprised how rad it feels!

Sad? Mad?

Happy Friday to you all! I hope you’ve had one great week and you’ll have an even better weekend. J

These past two weeks have been quite the learning experience. Last week on Thursday I had an anxiety attack that scared the heebie jeebies out of me. I was pluggin away at my computer and all of the sudden I stared seeing spots and my heart felt like I had was Apolo Ohno having just finished the last lap in speed skating x’s 10.

I felt like I was going to pass out! Oh no, I’m fine I don’t need to go to the doctor, I thought. Well a little more time passed and I said oh yes, you better ask for help because you have another very important life depending on you. A friend took me to the doctor, turns out my body and the baby were completely fine. My mind had “tricked” me into feeling wretched and feeling like my body was about to give up on me. After being really stressed out at work for two weeks , my body finally did what my mind would not do for me. It made me STOP and realize that I’ve been doing things wrong. See all this time I kept thinking, got to think positively , got to just go with the flow and count my blessings and don’t complain. Just go, go , go…... Well guess what, sometimes when you are going through a stressful time it’s OKAY to allow yourself to FEEL angry, frustrated, downright pouty. The trick is to not get stuck in that negative emotion. Here’s my thought, why are we equipped with the ability to experience so many different emotions if it weren’t a healthy process? That is my struggle because I always want to be happy and positive. There comes a point where if the emotion your are experiencing is not what you are allowing your body to feel, there is going to be a sort of discombobulation. I’m not saying to be angry and curse the world all of time, because that’s just taking it too far, but do allow yourself to feel whatever emotion you are feeling and then move on quickly. Think of what you learned from it, chalk it up to experience and let’s go get an ice cream cone! I thank the world so much for all the challenges and learning experiences. That’s what being human is about, and I think I like it! Think about it. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel the downs how will we ever savor and appreciate the highs?

Have a great weekend ya’ll. Make it a good day, only YOU can! (unless today you just want to pout because that’s what you feel and then that’s okay too. ) haha

Love for a child

Happy Friday to you all. I hope you had as fast of a week as I have. Phew!

This week I experienced my baby moving more than her usual. It was the single most amazing feeling I’ve ever felt in my life, (well aside from being in love with my husband). She did this u-turn sort of ninja like move that just sent a thousand love signals to my heart and I knew right then and there that I am going to love her the way God loves me. Unconditionally.

I was talking to a friend that just recently had her baby in December and she said to me ,” I just can’t imagine my life before this little one, I never knew that I could be so bias to a human before having a child.” I started thinking of God’s love for us, he has to feel the same way any parent feels for their child,times elevendy billion. Just enamored by them and completely and utterly behind them no matter WHAT. Oh my goodness to be able to understand that kind of love even 50% just makes me want to cry. I mean I’ve always believed that God loves me so much but sometimes, just sometimes ,when I do “bad” things I just think, dang it, there I go again being all crazy and human like and I think for a second that God might not love me as much as when I’m doing “good” things. BUT the fact of the matter is, and yes folks I know how hard this is to comprehend, the fact of the matter IS, God will always, no matter WHAT love us. Doesn’t mean he’s not saying , dough, whenever we screw up, but he’s always there to lead us through whatever we are facing. Why is it so hard to know that we are loved this much? Can you imagine loving other people that way, not judging them in any way, not holding grudges, loving everyone for who they are? That to me is incredible because as good as I want to be, I myself get caught up in being Judy McJudgerson and can write people off for things that I view different, or weird. But God doesn’t do that. God just loves with all of his heart.

Today, whatever religion you are, whatever your belief system is, just know that God loves you so much in spite of yourself and I hope this gives your heart some peace and comfort and that it makes you smile as it makes me smile.

Make it a great weekend. Only you can.

** I know there is no such number as elevendy billion.

The bunny, the duck and a whole lot of fright.

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about the way I operate as a person. I thought about the things that I’m fearful of, the things that make me happy, the things that make me angry woman; it’s so interesting to depict what makes me tic as a person and why. I know that I am my own worst critic, and that the perception people might have of me, might be nowhere near what I see in myself. Even though I feel like I’m a pretty positive person and some people might think that I’ve got my life together, there are times in my life that I feel lost, alone, and fearful. I can be insecure of myself and what others think of me a lot of the times even if it doesn’t seem like that in the exterior. I got to thinking if I feel this way, do others? Are we all secretly putting up a front of a cool exterior when in the inside we are just an insecure little kid wanting to be loved? My inclination was more towards a yes. I guess I can’t know what’s in every persons hearts or minds, but I do know what I go through in myself and think that I would be the biggest FREAK if it were just me feeling this way. So I’m going to think that I’m not alone in my FREAKDOM and that ya’ll are with me? No? No one? Ohhh come on!! J ha, I have a feeling we all have these feelings of insecurity at some point or another. Insecurity of our image, insecurity of what we’re worth, insecurity about our jobs or where we’re going, insecurity in our relationships, yaddy yaddy yadda . In all of this second guessing myself I got to thinking of where in time I live my life the most. There is the past, the present, and the future. For those who know me well you know I’ve come from a very “challenging” past. I like to feel that my current present is completely blessed and I pray to God that I have a bright future. However, all my time traveling I do in my head on a daily basis I mostly live in the past and in the future. I re-live my “challenging” past and they way I operate as a person is a by- product of my experiences of it. Combine that with my un-known future and you’ve got yourself some chaos. I’m always thinking of what will be, and I worry myself about things that haven’t even happened yet! One down side of an overactive imagination is having these drawn out scenarios to every situation that might start like so, “Oh this Sunday is Easter, I should go to church and wear a nice dress. Well what if I get up and I can’t find something good to wear? What if we get to church and its cold? What if that cold turns into me getting a cold? What if that cold turns into pneumonia? What if my pneumonia gets me a ticket to the hospital for 30 days, all inclusive with hallucinations of bunnies tattooed with flowers and why not throw in a goose in there, even though geese have nothing to do with Easter ((THANKS a lot Target!)) What if in this hallucination I never return to normal and I am doomed to being in bunny hell for the rest of my life?”) Okay that was an over dramatization to make a point. I don’t ever have thoughts like that… nor do I? Well anyhow, hopefully you get my point. We get so worked up on what is going to happen, when we have NOOOOO clue what so ever and we bring our baggage from our past and make an even fuzzier future. What about the present?

For starters, I’m alive, that’s pretty darn cool. My husband was in the men’s restroom at an airport one day and wanted to make small chat with the old man next to him, so he asked him how his day was, the old man responded, “Wonderful, I WOKE up!” How cool is that! What all do we take for granted? Just the fact that we’ve made it to a new day is such an amazing thing. Not to mention, we have legs to walk and eyes to see and hands to feel, and other blessings some people don’t get to have in a lifetime. What more could we need?! If you focus your energy on what your present is, no matter how bad it can get it’s always going to be better than the

un-known future. I’m not saying don’t plan; what I am saying is stop thinking of what will be and live in the present because that is all we have. Right here, right now. I think that a lot of our insecurities come from fear of the un-known. If we focus on today and the fact that we are not alone in our feelings it might make for a magical now. Make it a good day, only you can!

Happy Easter!